Read Twilight Saga Online

Watch Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn Part 1 Online

2011-11-24T18:19:00.000-08:00

In The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1, Bella (Kristen Stewart) and Edward (Robert Pattinson), plus those they love, must deal with the chain of consequences brought on by a marriage, honeymoon, and the tumultuous birth of a child…which brings an unforeseen and shocking development for Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner).Enjoy watching the Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1

Watch Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn Part 1 Online

Twilight - Midnight Sun

2011-08-07T16:47:00.000-07:00

Twilight - MIDNIGHT SUN

Stephanie Meyer

Contents

Twilight - Midnight Sun - Chapter 1. First Sight

Twilight - Midnight Sun - Chapter 2. Open Book

I leaned back against the soft snow bank, letting the dry powder reshape itself around my weight. My
skin had cooled to match the air around me, and the tiny pieces of ice felt like velvet under my skin. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Midnight Sun - Chapter 3. Phenomenon

Truly, I was not thirsty, but I decided to hunt again that night. A small ounce of prevention, inadequate
though I knew it to be.

Carlisle came with me; we hadn't been alone together since I'd returned from Denali. As we ran through
the black forest, I heard him thinking about that hasty goodbye last week. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Midnight Sun - Chapter 4. Visions

I went back to school. This was the right thing to do, the most inconspicuous way to behave.

By the end of the day, almost all the other students had returned to class, too. Just Tyler and Bella and a
few others-who were probably using the accident as a chance to ditch-remained absent. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Midnight Sun - Chapter 5. Invitations

High school. Purgatory no longer, it was now purely hell. Torment and fire...yes, I had both.

I was doing everything correctly now. Every "i" dotted, every "t" crossed. No one could complain that I
was shirking my responsibilities.Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Midnight Sun - Chapter 6. Blood Type

I followed her all day through other people's eyes, barely aware of my own surroundings.

Not Mike Newton's eyes, because I couldn't stand any more of his offensive fantasies, and not Jessica
Stanley's, because her resentment toward Bella made me angry in a way that was not safe for the petty
girl. Angela Weber was a good choice when her eyes were available; she was kind-her head was an easy
place to be. And then sometimes it was the teachers who provided the best view. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Midnight Sun - Chapter 7. Melody

I had to wait when I got back to school. The final hour wasn't out yet. That was good, because I had
things to think about and I needed the alone time.

Her scent lingered in the car. I kept the windows up, letting it assault me, trying to get used to the feel of
intentionally torching my throat.... Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Midnight Sun - Chapter 8. Ghost

I did not see much of Jasper's guests for the two sunny days that they were in Forks. I only went home at all so that Esme wouldn't worry. Otherwise, my existence seemed more like that of a specter than a vampire. I hovered, invisible in the shadows, where I could follow the object of my love and obsession where

I could see her and hear her in the minds of the lucky humans who could walk through the
sunlight beside her, sometimes accidentally brushing the back of her hand with their own. She never
reacted to such contact; their hands were just as warm as hers. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Midnight Sun - Chapter 9. Port Angeles

It was too bright for me to drive into town when I got to Port Angeles; the sun was still too high
overhead, and, though my windows were tinted dark, there was no reason to take unnecessary risks.
More unnecessary risks, I should say.

I was certain I would be able to find Jessica's thoughts from a distance-Jessica's thoughts were louder
than Angela's, but once I found the first, I'd be able to hear the second. Then, when the shadows Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Midnight Sun - Chapter 10. Theory

"Can I ask just one more?" she entreated instead of answering my demand.
I was on edge, anxious for the worst. And yet, how tempting it was to prolong this moment. To have
Bella with me, willingly, for just a few seconds longer. I sighed at the dilemma, and then said, "One."

"Well...," she hesitated for a moment, as if deciding which question to voice. "You said you knew I hadn't
gone into the bookstore, and that I had gone south. I was just wondering how you know that." Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Midnight Sun - Chapter 11. Interrogations

CNN broke the story first.

I was glad it hit the news before I had to leave for school, anxious to hear how the humans would phrase
the account, and what amount of attention it would garner.

Luckily, it was a heavy news day. There was an earthquake in South America and a political kidnapping in
the Middle East. So it ended up only earning a few seconds, a few sentences, and one grainy picture. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Midnight Sun - Chapter 12 Complications

Bella and I walked silently to biology. I was trying to focus myself on the moment, on the girl beside me,
on what was real and solid, on anything that would keep Alice's deceitful, meaningless visions out of my
head.

We passed Angela Weber, lingering on the sidewalk, discussing an assignment with a boy from her
Trigonometry class. I scanned her thoughts perfunctorily, expecting more disappointment, only to be.. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Midnight Sun - Chapter 13 Balancing

As I sped down the winding road I knew what lay ahead for me. My home. As the woods thinned out I
knew what I had to face. My family. I’m sure Rosalie had informed them all in her own colourful words of
my recent revelations to this human girl. The human girl that she could never be. The human girl that
had been materialised out of my own personal hell. The human girl that was my punishment for being a
monster. The human girl who’s delectable scent still lingered with me. The human girl… Bella that
actually had accepted the fiend beside her for the entire day. Bella who’s touch had not been a mistake
on my ice cold hands. Bella… Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Midnight Sun - Chapter 14 Division

It had been only less than an hour since I slid out of Bella’s window and raced through the forest to get
to my home. I had freshened up and changed for school. Funny I had never been eager for school before
but Bella had abruptly changed that. She was changing more than just that though. I signed and shook
off the thoughts. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Midnight Sun - Chapter 15 Back and Forth

Billy Black’s thoughts were insulting at the very least. I was seething as much as I was speeding towards
my house. He was positive that I was a danger to Bella.Hah! A danger to Bella, not at that moment. At
that moment I was a danger to him. Had Bella not been there I would have reversed back into his car… I
remembered the look on Billy’s face. And something told me that if Billy had been the one in the drivers
seat instead of his son, he would have done the same thing to the back of my Volvo. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Midnight Sun - Chapter 16. Ready or Not

Elks never seemed to satisfy me, but I didn’t want to go very far. And in the park that was all Alice and I
could find of substance.

She didn’t actually hunt much. Just watched me most of the time. She wasn’t thirsty, just accompanying
me on this very necessary and fruitless trip. Necessary because I couldn’t allow myself to be thirsty
tomorrow even the slightest. And fruitless because no matter how many elks I slayed it would be in vain
the moment Bella’s scent caught up to me again. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Midnight Sun - Chapter 17. Confessions

Bella’s eyes had not faltered from me in the hours that I lay on the soft grass, gazing up through the tall
trees surrounding the meadow. As she sat there, her hands hugging her legs to her chest, I closed my
eyes. I had not expected such a calm reaction. Or such a quiet one. It’s not a good thing I tried to
convince myself, but the elation I felt was almost over powering.Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn

2010-07-19T23:18:00.000-07:00

Twilight - BREAKING DAWN

Stephanie Meyer

Contents

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 1. ENGAGED

No one is staring at you, I promised myself. No one is staring at you. No one is staring at you. But, because I couldn’t lie convincingly even to myself, I had to check. As I sat waiting for one of the three traffic lights in town to turn green, I peeked to the right— Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 2. LONG NIGHT

“I miss you already.” “I don’t need to leave. I can stay. . . .” “Mmm.” It was quiet for a long moment, just the thud of my heart hammering, the broken rhythm of our ragged breathing, and the whisper of our lips moving in synchronization. Sometimes it was so easy to forget Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 3. BIG DAY

I lay shivering and gasping in my warm bed for several minutes, trying to break free of the dream. The sky outside my window turned gray and then pale pink while I waited for my heart to slow. When I was fully back to the reality of my messy, familiar room Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 4. GESTURE

The wedding flowed into the reception party smoothly—proof of Alice’s flawless planning. It was just twilight over the river; the ceremony had lasted exactly the right amount of time, allowing the sun to set behind the trees. The lights in the trees glimmered as Edward Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 5. ISLE ESME

“Houston?” I asked, raising my eyebrows when we reached the gate in Seattle. “Just a stop along the way,” Edward assured me with a grin. It felt like I’d barely fallen asleep when he woke me. I was groggy as he pulled me through the terminals, struggling to remember Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 6. DISTRACTIONS

My entertainment became the number-one priority on Isle Esme. We snorkeled (well, I snorkeled while he flaunted his ability to go without oxygen indefinitely). We explored the small jungle that ringed the rocky little peak. We visited the parrots that lived Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 7. UNEXPECTED

The line of black advanced on me through the shroud-like mist. I could see their dark ruby eyes glinting with desire, lusting for the kill. Their lips pulled back over their sharp, wet teeth—some to snarl, some to smile. I heard the child behind me whimper,... Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 8. WAITING FOR THE DAMN FIGHT TO START ALREADY

“Jeez, Paul, don’t you freaking have a home of your own?” Paul, lounging across my whole couch, watching some stupid baseball game on my crappy TV, just grinned at me and then—real slow—he lifted one Dorito from the bag in his lap and wedged Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 9. SURE AS HELL DIDN’T SEE THAT ONE COMING

I didn’t really plan to say goodbye to my father. After all, one quick call to Sam and the game would be up. They’d cut me off and push me back. Probably try to make me angry, or even hurt me—somehow force me to phase so that Sam could lay down a new law. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 10. WHY DIDN’T I JUST WALK AWAY? OH RIGHT, BECAUSE I’M AN IDIOT.

I felt like—like I don’t know what. Like this wasn’t real. Like I was in some Goth version of a bad sitcom. Instead of being the A/V dweeb about to ask the head cheerleader to the prom, I was the finished-second-place werewolf about to ask the vampire’s wife Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 11. THE TWO THINGS AT THE VERY TOP OF MY THINGS-I-NEVER-WANT-TO-DO LIST

Sam started moving the others into formation while I was still on the ground. Embry and Quil were at my sides, waiting for me to recover and take the point. I could feel the drive, the need, to get on my feet and lead them. The compulsion grew, and I fought it uselessly Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 12. SOME PEOPLE JUST DON’T GRASP THE CONCEPT OF “UNWELCOME”

I was right on the edge of sleep. The sun had risen behind the clouds an hour ago—the forest was gray now instead of black. Seth’d curled up and passed out around one, and I’d woken him at dawn to trade off. Even after running all night, I was having a hard time Keep Reading...»

Twilight- Breaking Dawn Chapter 13. GOOD THING I’VE GOT A STRONG STOMACH

Carlisle and Rosalie were off in a flash, darting upstairs. I could hear them debating whether they should warm it up for her. Ugh. I wondered what all house-of-horrors stuff they kept around here. Fridge full of blood, check. What else? Torture chamber? Coffin room? Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 14. YOU KNOW THINGS ARE BAD WHEN YOU FEEL GUILTY FOR BEING RUDE TO VAMPIRES

When I got back to the house, there was no one waiting outside for my report. Still on alert? Everything’s cool, I thought tiredly. My eyes quickly caught a small change in the now-familiar scene. There was a stack of light-colored fabric on the bottom step of the porch. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 15. TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK

Hey Jake, thought you said you wanted me at dusk. How come you didn’t have Leah wake me up before she crashed? ’Cause I didn’t need you. I’m still good. He was already picking up the north half of the circle. Anything? Nope. Nothing but nothing. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 16. TOO-MUCH-INFORMATION ALERT

I took off early, long before sunrise was due. I’d gotten just a little bit of uneasy sleep leaning against the side of the sofa. Edward woke me when Bella’s face was flushed, and he took my spot to cool her back down. I stretched and decided I was rested Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 17. WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE? THE WIZARD OF OZ? YOU NEED A BRAIN? YOU NEED A HEART? GO AHEAD. TAKE MINE. TAKE EVERYTHING I HAVE.

I sort of had a plan as I ran to the Cullens’ garage. The second part of it was totaling the bloodsucker’s car on my way back. So I was at a loss when I mashed the button on the keyless remote, and it was not his Volvo that beeped and flashed its lights for me. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 18. THERE ARE NO WORDS FOR THIS.

Bella’s body, streaming with red, started to twitch, jerking around in Rosalie’s arms like she was being electrocuted. All the while, her face was blank— unconscious. It was the wild thrashing from inside the center of her body that moved her. As she convulsed Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 19. BURNING

The pain was bewildering. Exactly that—I was bewildered. I couldn’t understand, couldn’t make sense of what was happening. My body tried to reject the pain, and I was sucked again and again into a blackness that cut out whole seconds or maybe even minutes Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 20. NEW

Everything was so clear. Sharp. Defined. The brilliant light overhead was still blinding-bright, and yet I could plainly see the glowing strands of the filaments inside the bulb. I could see each color of the rainbow in the white light, and, at the very edge of the spectrum Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 21. FIRST HUNT

“The window?” I asked, staring two stories down. I’d never really been afraid of heights per se, but being able to see all the details with such clarity made the prospect less appealing. The angles of the rocks below were sharper than I would have imagined them. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 22. PROMISED

Thinking of Renesmee brought her to that center-stage place in my strange, new, and roomy but distractible mind. So many questions. “Tell me about her,” I insisted as he took my hand. Being linked barely slowed us. “She’s like nothing else in the world Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 23. MEMORIES

“I’m so sorry, Seth. I should have been closer.” Edward was still apologizing, and I didn’t think that was either fair or appropriate. After all, Edward hadn’t completely and inexcusably lost control of his temper. Edward hadn’t tried to rip Jacob’s head off—Jacob, Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 24. SURPRISE

“No. No way!” I shook my head fiercely and then shot a glance at the smug smile on my seventeen-year-old husband’s face. “No, this doesn’t count. I stopped aging three days ago. I am eighteen forever.” “Whatever,” Alice said, dismissing my protest Keep Reading...»

Twilgiht - Breaking Dawn Chapter 25. FAVOR

It was only a little while later that Edward reminded me of my priorities. It took him just one word. “Renesmee . . .” I sighed. She would be awake soon. It must be nearly seven in the morning. Would she be looking for me? Abruptly, something close to panic had my body Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 26. SHINY

“I don’t know how much we should tell Renée about this,” Charlie said, hesitating with one foot out the door. He stretched, and then his stomach growled. I nodded. “I know. I don’t want to freak her out. Better to protect her. This stuff isn’t for the fainthearted.” Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 27. TRAVEL PLANS

I took mythology a lot more seriously since I’d become a vampire. Often, when I looked back over my first three months as an immortal, I imagined how the thread of my life might look in the Fates’ loom—who knew but that it actually existed? I was sure my thread Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 28. THE FUTURE

Carlisle and Edward had not been able to catch up with Irina before her trail disappeared into the sound. They’d swum to the other bank to see if her trail had picked up in a straight line, but there was no trace of her for miles in either direction on the eastern shore. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 29. DEFECTION

We sat there all night long, statues of horror and grief, and Alice never came back. We were all at our limits—frenzied into absolute stillness. Carlisle had barely been able to move his lips to explain it all to Jacob. The retelling seemed to make it worse Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 30. IRRESISTIBLE

There was so much to think about. How was I going to find time alone to hunt down J. Jenks, and why did Alice want me to know about him? If Alice’s clue had nothing to do with Renesmee, what could I do to save my daughter? How were Edward and I going to explain things Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 31. TALENTED

“What is the werewolves’ part in this?” Tanya asked then, eyeing Jacob. Jacob spoke before Edward could answer. “If the Volturi won’t stop to listen about Nessie, I mean Renesmee,” he corrected himself, remembering that Tanya would not understand Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 32. COMPANY

The Cullens’ enormous house was more crowded with guests than anyone would assume could possibly be comfortable. It only worked out because none of the visitors slept. Mealtimes were dicey, though. Our company cooperated as best they could. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 33. FORGERY

“Charlie, we’ve still got that strictly need-to-know company situation going. I know it’s been more than a week since you saw Renesmee, but a visit is just not a good idea right now. How about I bring Renesmee over to see you?” Charlie was quiet for so long that I wondered Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 34. DECLARED

I heard the music before I was out of the car. Edward hadn’t touched his piano since the night Alice left. Now, as I shut the car door, I heard the song morph through a bridge and change into my lullaby. Edward was welcoming me home. I moved slowly as I pulled Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 35. DEADLINE

“Headed out?” Edward asked, his tone nonchalant. There was a sort of forced composure about his expression. He hugged Renesmee just a little bit tighter to his chest. “Yes, a few last-minute things…,” I responded just as casually. He smiled my favorite smile. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 36. BLOODLUST

They came with pageantry, with a kind of beauty. They came in a rigid, formal formation. They moved together, but it was not a march; they flowed in perfect synchronicity from the trees—a dark, unbroken shape that seemed to hover a few inches above the white snow Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 37. CONTRIVANCES

Aro did not rejoin his anxious guard waiting on the north side of the clearing; instead, he waved them forward. Edward started backing up immediately, pulling my arm and Emmett’s. We hurried backward, keeping our eyes on the advancing threat. Jacob retreated slowest, Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 38. POWER

“Chelsea is trying to break our bindings,” Edward whispered. “But she can’t find them. She can’t feel us here. . . .” His eyes cut to me. “Are you doing that?” I smiled grimly at him. “I am all over this.” Edward lurched away from me suddenly, his hand reaching out toward Carlisle. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Chapter 39. THE HAPPILY EVER AFTER

“So it was a combination of things there at the end, but what it really boiled down to was… Bella,” Edward was explaining. Our family and our two remaining guests sat in the Cullens’ great room while the forest turned black outside the tall windows. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - New Moon

2010-07-19T21:08:00.000-07:00

TWILIGHT NEW MOON

Stephanie Meyer

Contents

Twilight - New Moon Chapter 1. PARTY

I WAS NINETY-NINE POINT NINE PERCENT SURE I WAS dreaming. The reasons I was so certain were that, first, I was standing in a bright shaft of sunlight—the kind of blinding clear sun that never shone on my drizzly new hometown in Forks, Washington Keep Reading...»

Twilight - New Moon Chapter 2 STITCHES

CARLISLE WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO STAYED calm. Centuries of experience in the emergency room were evident in his quiet, authoritative voice. "Emmett, Rose, get Jasper outside." Unsmiling for once, Emmett nodded. "Come on, Jasper." Keep Reading...»

Twilight - New Moon Chapter 3. THE END

I FELT ABSOLUTELY HIDEOUS IN THE MORNING. I HADN'T slept well; my arm burned and my head ached. It didn't help my outlook that Edward's face was smooth and remote as he kissed my forehead quickly and ducked out my window. I was afraid of the time Keep Reading...»

Twilgiht - New Moon Chpater 4. WAKING UP

TIME PASSES. EVEN WHEN IT SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE. EVEN when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - New Moon Chapter 5. CHEATER

"BELLA, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE OFF," MIKE SUGGESTED, his eyes focused off to the side, not really looking at me. I wondered how long that had been going on without me noticing. It was a slow afternoon at Newton's. At the moment there were Keep Reading...»

Twilight - New Moon Chapter 6. FRIENDS

THE MOTORCYCLES DIDN'T NEED TO BE HIDDEN ANY further than simply placing them in Jacob's shed. Billy's wheelchair couldn't maneuver the uneven ground separating it from the house. Jacob started pulling the first bike—the red one, Keep Reading...»

Twilight - New Moon Chapter 7 REPETITION

I WASN'T SURE WHAT THE HELL I WAS DOING HERE Was I trying to push myself back into the zombie stupor? Had I turned masochistic—developed a taste for torture? I should have gone straight down to La Push I felt much, much healthier around Jacob Keep Reading...»

Twilight - New Moon Chapter 8. ADRENALINE

"OKAY, WHERE'S YOUR CLUTCH?" I pointed to the lever on my left handlebar. Letting go of the grip was a mistake. The heavy bike wobbled underneath me, threatening to knock me sidewise. I grabbed the handle again, trying to hold it straight. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - New Moon Chapter 9. THIRD WHEEL

TIME BEGAN TO TRIP ALONG MUCH MORE QUICKLY than before. School, work, and Jacob—though not necessarily in that order—created a neat and effortless pattern to follow. And Charlie got his wish: I wasn't miserable anymore. Of course, Keep Reading...»

Twilight - New Moon Chapter 10. THE MEADOW

JACOB DIDN'T CALL. The first time I called, Billy answered and told me that Jacob was still in bed. I got nosy, checking to make sure that Billy had taken him to a doctor. Billy said he had, but, for some reason I couldn't nail down, I didn't really believe him. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - New Moon Chapter 11. CULT

EACH TIME THAT I OPENED MY EYES TO THE MORNING light and realized I'd lived through another night was a surprise to me. After the surprise wore off, my heart would start to race and my palms would sweat; I couldn't really breathe again until Keep Reading...»

Twilight - New Moon Chapter 12. INTRUDER

MY EYES FLEW WIDE OPEN WITH FRIGHT, THOUGH I WAS so exhausted and muddled that I was not yet positive whether I was awake or asleep. Something scratched against my window again with the same thin, high-pitched sound. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - New Moon Chapter 1 3 . KILLER

IF IT WAS ANYONE BUT JACOB, I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, shaking my head as I drove down the forest-lined highway to La Push. I still wasn't sure if I was domg the right thing, but I'd made a compromise with myself. I couldn't condone what Jacob and his friends Keep Reading...»

Twilight - New Moon Chapter 14. FAMILY

I COWERED INTO JACOB'S SIDE, MY EYES SCANNING the forest for the other werewolves. When they appeared, striding out from between the trees, they weren't what I was expecting. I'd gotten the image of the wolves stuck in my head. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - New Moon Chapter 15 PRESSURE

IT WAS SPRING BREAK IN FORKS AGAIN. WHEN I WOKE UP on Monday morning, I lay in bed for a few seconds absorbing that. Last spring break, I'd been hunted by a vampire, too. I hoped this wasn't some kind of tradition forming. Already I was falling into Keep Reading...»

Twilight - New Moon Chapter 16. PARIS

AT THAT MOMENT, MY HEAD BROKE THE SURFACE. How disorienting. I'd been sure I was sinking. The current wouldn't let up. It was slamming me against more rocks; they beat against the center of my back sharply, rhythmically, pushing the water from Keep Reading...»

Twilight - New Moon Chapter 17. VISITOR

UNNATURALLY STILL AND WHITE, WITH LARGE BLACK EYES intent on my face, my visitor waited perfectly motionless in the center of the halt, beautiful beyond imagining. My knees trembled for a second, and I nearly fell. Then I hurled myself at her. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - New Moon Chapter 18. THE FUNERAL

I SPRINTED DOWN THE STAIRS AND THREW THE DOOR open. It was Jacob, of course. Even blind, Alice wasn't slow. He was standing about six feet back from the door, his nose wrinkled in distaste, but his face otherwise smooth—mask like. He didn't fool me Keep Reading...»

Twilight - New Moon Chapter 19. HATE

WE MADE OUR FLIGHT WITH SECONDS TO SPARE, AND THEN the true torture began. The plane sat idle on the tarmac while the flight attendants strolled—so casually—up and down the aisle, patting the bags in the overhead compartments to make sure Keep Reading...»

Twilight - New Moon Chapter 20. VOLTERRA

WE BEGAN THE STEEP CLIMB, AND THE ROAD GREW CONGESTED. As we wound higher, the cars became too close together for Alice to weave insanely between them anymore. We slowed to a crawl behind a little tan Peugeot. "Alice," I moaned. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - New Moon Chapter 21 VERDICT

WE WERE IN A BRIGHTLY LIT, UNREMARKABLE HALLWAY. The walls were off-white, the floor carpeted in industrial gray. Common rectangular fluorescent lights were spaced evenly along the ceiling. It was warmer here, for which I was grateful. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - New Moon Chapter 22 FLIGHT

DEMETRI LEFT US IN THE CHEERFULLY OPULENT RECEPTION area, where the woman Gianna was still at her post behind the polished counter. Bright, harmless music tinkled from hidden speakers. "Do not leave until dark," he warned us. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - New Moon Chapter 23. THE TRUTH

I HAD THE SENSE THAT I'D BEEN ASLEEP FOR A VERY long time—my body was stiff, like I
hadn't moved once through all that time, either. My mind was dazed and slow; strange, colorful
dreams—dreams and nightmares—swirled dizzily around the inside of my head. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - New Moon Chapter 24. VOTE

HE WAS NOT PLEASED, THAT MUCH WAS EASY TO READ in his face. But, without further argument, he took me in his arms and sprang lithely from my window, landing without the slightest jolt, like a cat. It was a little bit farther down than I'd imagined. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - New Moon: EPILOGUE TREATY

ALMOST EVERYTHING WAS BACK TO NORMAL—THE GOOD, pre-zombie normal—in less time than I would have believed possible. The hospital welcomed Carlisle back with eager arms, not even bothering to conceal their delight that Esme Keep Reading...»

Twilight Eclipse

2010-07-19T20:30:00.000-07:00

Twilight Eclipse

By
Stephenie Meyer

Contents

Twilight - Eclipse Chapter 1. ULTIMATUM

Bella, I don’t know why you’re making Charlie carry notes to Billy like we’re in second grade — if I wanted to talk to you I would answer the You made the choice here, okay? You can’t have it both ways when What part of ‘mortal enemies’ is too complicated for you to Look... Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Eclipse Chapter 2. EVASION

I FELT ODDLY BUOYANT AS I WALKED FROM SPANISH toward the cafeteria, and it wasn’t just because I was holding hands with the most perfect person on the planet, though that was certainly part of it. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Eclipse Chapter 3. MOTIVES

THE SUN WAS SO DEEPLY BURIED BEHIND THE CLOUDS that there was no way to tell if it had set or not. After the long flight — chasing the sun westward so that it seemed unmoving in the sky — it was especially disorienting; time seemed oddly variable. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Eclipse Chapter 4. NATURE

I WAS HAVING A BAD WEEK. I knew that essentially nothing had changed. Okay, so Victoria had not given up, but had I ever dreamed for one moment that she had? Her reappearance had only confirmed what I’d already known. No reason for fresh panic. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Eclipse Chapter 5. IMPRINT

“ARE YOU OKAY, JAKE? CHARLIE SAID YOU WERE HAVINGa hard time. . . . Isn’t it getting any better?” His warm hand curled around mine. “’S not so bad,” he said, but he wouldn’t meet my eyes. He walked slowly back to the driftwood bench, staring at the... Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Eclipse Chapter 6. SWITZERLAND

ASI DROVE HOME , I WASN’T PAYING MUCH ATTENTION TO the road that shimmered wetly in the sun. I was thinking about the flood of information Jacob had shared with me, trying to sort it out, to force it all to make sense. Despite the overload, I felt lighter. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Eclipse Chapter 7. UNHAPPY ENDING

ROSALIE HESITATED IN THE DOORWAY, HER BREATHTAKing face unsure. “Of course,” I replied, my voice an octave high with surprise. “Come on in.” I sat up, sliding to the end of the sofa to make room. My stomach twisted nervously as the one Cullen... Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Eclipse Chapter 8. TEMPER

WE ENDED UP ON THE BEACH AGAIN, WANDERING AIMlessly. Jacob was still full of himself for engineering my escape. “Do you think they’ll come looking for you?” he asked, sounding hopeful. “No.” I was certain about that. “They’re going to be furious... Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Eclipse Chapter 9. TARGET

ALICE DROPPED ME OFF IN THE MORNING, IN KEEPING with the slumber party charade. It wouldn’t be long until Edward showed up, officially returning from his “hiking” trip. All of the pretenses were starting to wear on me. I wouldn’t miss this part of being human. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Eclipse Chapter 10. SCENT

IT WAS ALL VERY CHILDISH. WHY ON EARTH SHOULD Edward have to leave for Jacob to come over? Weren’t we past this kind of immaturity? “It’s not that I feel any personal antagonism toward him, Bella, it’s just easier for both of us,” Edward told me at the door. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Eclipse Chapter 11. LEGENDS

“ARE YOU GONNA EAT THAT HOT DOG?” PAUL ASKED JAcob, his eyes locked on the last remnant of the huge meal the werewolves had consumed. Jacob leaned back against my knees and toyed with the hot dog he had spitted on a straightened wire hanger... Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Eclipse Chapter 12. TIME

“I HAVE FORESEEN . . . ,” ALICE BEGAN IN AN OMINOUStone. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, Edward threw an elbow toward her ribs, which she neatly dodged. “Fine,” she grumbled. “Edward is making me do this. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Eclipse Chapter 13. NEWBORN

“THE SAME THING THAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAND,”Jasper answered in a quiet voice. “Repeated a thousand times.” He laughed a little ruefully and brushed at his arm. “Our venom is the only thing that leaves a scar.” “Why?”I breathed in horror, ... Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Eclipse Chapter 14. DECLARATION

“YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS,” I SAID WEDNESDAY AFTERnoon. “You’ve completely lost your mind!” “Say whatever you like about me,” Alice answered. “The party is still on.” I stared at her, my eyes so wide with disbelief it felt like they might fall out and land... Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Eclipse Chapter 15. WAGER

I STARED AT HIM FOR A LONG MINUTE, SPEECHLESS. I could not think of one thing to say to him. As he watched my dumbfounded expression, the seriousness left his face. “Okay,” he said, grinning. “That’s all.” “Jake —” It felt like there was something big... Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Eclipse Chapter 16. EPOCH

“I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR!” I MOANED TO MYSELF. Every item of clothing I owned was strewn across my bed; my drawers and closets were bare. I stared into the empty recesses, willing something suitable to appear. My khaki skirt lay over the... Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Eclipse Chapter 17. ALLIANCE

“BELLA?” Edward’s soft voice came from behind me. I turned to see him spring lightly up the porch steps, his hair windblown from running. He pulled me into his arms at once, just like he had in the parking lot... Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Eclipse Chapter 18. INSTRUCTION

“THAT HAD TO BE THE LONGEST PARTY IN THE HISTORY of the world,” I complained on the way home. Edward didn’t seem to disagree. “It’s over now,” he said, rubbing my arm soothingly. Because I was the only one who needed soothing. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Eclipse Chapter 19. SELFISH

EDWARD CARRIED ME HOME IN HIS ARMS, EXPECTINGthat I wouldn’t be able to hang on. I must have fallen asleep on the way. When I woke up, I was in my bed and the dull light coming through my windows slanted in from a strange angle. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Eclipse Chapter 20. COMPROMISE

EVERYTHING WAS READY. I was packed for my two-day visit with “Alice,” and my bag waited for me on the passenger seat of my truck. I’d given the concert tickets to Angela, Ben, and Mike. Mike was going to take Jessica, Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Eclipse Chapter 21. TRAILS

I HATED TO WASTE ANY PART OF THE NIGHT IN SLEEP, but that was inevitable. The sun was bright outside the window-wall when I woke, with small clouds scuttling too quickly across the sky. The wind rocked the treetops till the whole forest looked as if it was going... Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Eclipse Chapter 22. FIRE AND ICE

THE WIND SHOOK THE TENT AGAIN, AND I SHOOK WITH IT. The temperature was dropping. I could feel it through the down bag, through my jacket. I was fully dressed, my hiking boots still laced into place. It didn’t make any difference. How could it be so cold? Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Eclipse Chapter 23. MONSTER

WHEN I WOKE UP IN THE MORNING, IT WAS VERYbright — even inside the tent, the sunlight hurt my eyes. And Iwas sweating, as Jacob had predicted. Jacob was snoring lightly in my ear, his arms still wrapped around me. I pulled my head away from his feverishly... Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Eclipse Chapter 24. SNAP DECISION

I LAY FACE DOWN ACROSS THE SLEEPING BAG, WAITING for justice to find me. Maybe an avalanche would bury me here. I wished it would. I never wanted to have to see my face in the mirror again. There was no sound to warn me. Out of nowhere... Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Eclipse Chapter 25. MIRROR

I FORCED MY EYES —FROZEN WIDE OPEN WITH SHOCK— to move, so that I could not examine too closely the oval object wrapped in tendrils of shivering, fiery hair. Edward was in motion again. Swift and coolly businesslike, he dismembered the headless corpse. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Eclipse Chapter 26. ETHICS

THE COUNTER IN ALICE’S BATHROOM WAS COVERED WITHa thousand different products, all claiming to beautify a person’s surface. Since everyone in this house was both perfect and impermeable, I could only assume that she’d bought most... Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Eclipse Chapter 27. NEEDS

I DIDN’T GET VERY FAR BEFORE DRIVING BECAME IMPOSsible. When I couldn’t see anymore, I let my tires find the rough shoulder and rolled slowly to a stop. I slumped over on the seat and allowed the weakness I’d fought in Jacob’s room crush me. Keep Reading..

The Twilight Saga Book 1

2010-07-19T17:24:00.000-07:00

Twilight

Stephanie Meyer

Contents

Twilight Chapter 1. FIRST SIGHT

My mother drove me to the airport with the windows rolled down. It was seventy-five degrees in Phoenix, the sky a perfect, cloudless blue. I was wearing my favorite shirt — sleeveless, white eyelet lace; I was wearing it as a farewell gesture.Keep Reading...»

Twilight Chapter 2. OPEN BOOK

The next day was better… and worse. It was better because it wasn't raining yet, though the clouds were dense and opaque. It was easier because I knew what to expect of my day. Mike came to sit by me in English, and walked me to my next class ... Keep Reading...»

Twilight Chapter 3. PHENOMENON

When I opened my eyes in the morning, something was different. It was the light. It was still the gray-green light of a cloudy day in the forest, but it was clearer somehow. I realized there was no fog veiling my window. I jumped up to look outside... Keep Reading...»

Twilight Chapter 4. INVITATIONS

In my dream it was very dark, and what dim light there was seemed to be radiating from Edward's skin. I couldn't see his face, just his back as he walked away from me, leaving me in the blackness. No matter how fast I ran, I couldn't catch up to him... Keep Reading...»

Twilight Chapter 5. BLOOD TYPE

I made my way to English in a daze. I didn't even realize when I first walked in that class had already started. "Thank you for joining us, Miss Swan," Mr. Mason said in a disparaging tone. I flushed and hurried to my seat. It wasn't till class ended ... Keep Reading...»

Twilight Chapter 6. SCARY STORIES

As I sat in my room, trying to concentrate on the third act of Macbeth, I was really listening for my truck. I would have thought, even over the pounding rain, I could have heard the engine's roar. But when I went to peek out the curtain — again — Keep Reading...»

Twilight Chapter 7. NIGHTMARE

I told Charlie I had a lot of homework to do, and that I didn't want anything to eat. There was a basketball game on that he was excited about, though of course I had no idea what was special about it, so he wasn't aware of anything unusual in my face or tone. Keep Reading...»

Twilight Chapter 8. PORT ANGELES

Jess drove faster than the Chief, so we made it to Port Angeles by four. It had been a while since I'd had a girls' night out, and the estrogen rush was invigorating. We listened to whiny rock songs while Jessica jabbered on about the boys we hung out with. Keep Reading...»

Twilight Chapter 9. THEORY

"Can I ask just one more?" I pleaded as Edward accelerated much too quickly down the quiet street. He didn't seem to be paying any attention to the road. He sighed. "One," he agreed. His lips pressed together into a cautious line. "Well…Keep Reading...»

Twilight Chapter 10. INTERROGATIONS

It was very hard, in the morning, to argue with the part of me that was sure last night was a dream. Logic wasn't on my side, or common sense. I clung to the parts I couldn't have imagined — like his smell. I was sure I could never have dreamed that up on my own.Keep Reading...»

Twilight Chapter 11. COMPLICATIONS

Everyone watched us as we walked together to our lab table. I noticed that he no longer angled the chair to sit as far from me as the desk would allow. Instead, he sat quite close beside me, our arms almost touching. Mr. Banner backed into the room then...Keep Reading...»

Twilight Chapter 12. BALANCING

"Billy!" Charlie called as soon as he got out of the car. I turned toward the house, beckoning to Jacob as I ducked under the porch. I heard Charlie greeting them loudly behind me. "I'm going to pretend I didn't see you behind the wheel, Jake," he said disapprovingly. Keep Reading...»

Twilight Chapter 13. CONFESSIONS

Edward in the sunlight was shocking. I couldn't get used to it, though I'd been staring at him all afternoon. His skin, white despite the faint flush from yesterday's hunting trip, literally sparkled, like thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface.Keep Reading...»

Twilight Chapter 14. MIND OVER MATTER

He could drive well, when he kept the speed reasonable, I had to admit. Like so many things, it seemed to be effortless to him. He barely looked at the road, yet the tires never deviated so much as a centimeter from the center of the lane. He drove one-handed,... Keep Reading...»

Twilight Chapter 15. THE CULLENS

The muted light of yet another cloudy day eventually woke me. I lay with my arm across my eyes, groggy and dazed. Something, a dream trying to be remembered, struggled to break into my consciousness. I moaned and rolled on my side, hoping more sleep would come. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Chapter 16. CARLISLE

He led me back to the room that he'd pointed out as Carlisle's office. He paused outside the door for an instant. "Come in," Carlisle's voice invited. Edward opened the door to a high-ceilinged room with tall, west-facing windows. The walls were paneled again Keep Reading...»

Twilight Chapter 17. THE GAME

It was just beginning to drizzle when Edward turned onto my street. Up until that moment, I'd had no doubt that he'd be staying with me while I spent a few interim hours in the real world. And then I saw the black car, a weathered Ford, parked in Charlie's driveway...Keep Reading...»

Twilight Chapter 18. THE HUNT

They emerged one by one from the forest edge, ranging a dozen meters apart. The first male into the clearing fell back immediately, allowing the other male to take the front, orienting himself around the tall, dark-haired man in a manner that clearly displayed who led the pack. Keep Reading...»

Twilight Chapter 19. GOODBYES

Charlie was waiting up for me. All the house lights were on. My mind was blank as I tried to think of a way to make him let me go. This wasn't going to be pleasant. Edward pulled up slowly, staying well back from my truck. All three of them were acutely alert, ... Keep Reading...»

Twilight Chapter 20. IMPATIENCE

When I woke up I was confused. My thoughts were hazy, still twisted up in dreams and nightmares; it took me longer than it should have to realize where I was. This room was too bland to belong anywhere but in a hotel. The bedside lamps, bolted to the tables,... Keep Reading...»

Twilight Chapter 21. PHONE CALL

I could feel it was too early again when I woke, and I knew I was getting the schedule of my days and nights slowly reversed. I lay in my bed and listened to the quiet voices of Alice and Jasper in the other room. That they were loud enough for me to hear at all was strange. Keep Reading...»

Twilight Chapter 22. HIDE-AND-SEEK

It had taken much less time than I'd thought — all the terror, the despair, the shattering of my heart. The minutes were ticking by more slowly than usual. Jasper still hadn't come back when I returned to Alice. I was afraid to be in the same room with her... Keep Reading...»

Twilight Chpater 23. THE ANGEL

As I drifted, I dreamed. Where I floated, under the dark water, I heard the happiest sound my mind could conjure up — as beautiful, as uplifting, as it was ghastly. It was another snarl; a deeper, wilder roar that rang with fury. Keep Reading...»

Twilight Chapter 24: AN IMPASSE

My eyes opened to a bright, white light. I was in an unfamiliar room, a white room. The wall beside me was covered in long vertical blinds; over my head, the glaring lights blinded me. I was propped up on a hard, uneven bed — a bed with rails. Keep Reading...»

Twilight EPILOGUE:AN OCCASION

Edward helped me into his car, being very careful of the wisps of silk and chiffon, the flowers he'd just pinned into my elaborately styled curls, and my bulky walking cast. He ignored the angry set of my mouth. Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Midnight Sun - Chapter 1. First Sight

2010-07-18T01:33:00.000-07:00

This was the time of day when I wished I were able to sleep.
High school.

Or was purgatory the right word? If there was any way to atone for my sins, this ought to count toward
the tally in some measure. The tedium was not something I grew used to; every day seemed more
impossibly monotonous than the last.

I suppose this was my form of sleep-if sleep was defined as the inert state between active periods.

I stared at the cracks running through the plaster in the far corner of the cafeteria, imagining patterns
into them that were not there. It was one way to tune out the voices that babbled like the gush of a
river inside my head.

Several hundred of these voices I ignored out of boredom.

When it came to the human mind, I'd heard it all before and then some. Today, all thoughts were
consumed with the trivial drama of a new addition to the small student body here. It took so little to
work them all up. I'd seen the new face repeated in thought after thought from every angle. Just an
ordinary human girl. The excitement over her arrival was tiresomely predictable-like flashing a shiny
object at a child. Half the sheep-like males were already imagining themselves in love with her, just
because she was something new to look at. I tried harder to tune them out.

Only four voices did I block out of courtesy rather than distaste: my family, my two brothers and two
sisters, who were so used to the lack of privacy in my presence that they rarely gave it a thought. I gave
them what privacy I could. I tried not to listen if I could help it.

Try as I may, still...I knew.

Rosalie was thinking, as usual, about herself. She'd caught sight of her profile in the reflection off
someone's glasses, and she was mulling over her own perfection.

Rosalie's mind was a shallow pool with few surprises.

Emmett was fuming over a wrestling match he'd lost to Jasper during the night. It would take all his
limited patience to make it to the end of the school day to orchestrate a rematch. I never really felt
intrusive hearing Emmett's thoughts, because he never thought one thing that he would not say aloud
or put into action.

Perhaps I only felt guilty reading the others' minds because I knew there were things there that they
wouldn't want me to know. If Rosalie's mind was a shallow pool, then Emmett's was a lake with no
shadows, glass clear.

And Jasper was...suffering. I suppressed a sigh.

Edward. Alice called my name in her head, and had my attention at once.

It was just the same as having my name called aloud. I was glad my given name had fallen out of style
lately-it had been annoying; anytime anyone thought of any Edward, my head would turn
automatically...

My head didn't turn now. Alice and I were good at these private conversations.

It was rare that anyone caught us. I kept my eyes on the lines in the plaster.

How is he holding up? She asked me.

I frowned, just a small change in the set of my mouth. Nothing that would tip the others off. I could
easily be frowning out of boredom.

Alice's mental tone was alarmed now, and I saw in her mind that she was watching Jasper in her
peripheral vision. Is there any danger? She searched ahead, into the immediate future, skimming
through visions of monotony for the source behind my frown.

I turned my head slowly to the left, as if looking at the bricks of the wall, sighed, and then to the right,
back to the cracks in the ceiling. Only Alice knew I was shaking my head.

She relaxed. Let me know if it gets too bad.

I moved only my eyes, up to the ceiling above, and back down.

Thanks for doing this.

I was glad I couldn't answer her aloud. What would I say? 'My pleasure'? It was hardly that. I didn't enjoy
listening to Jasper's struggles. Was it really necessary to experiment like this? Wouldn't the safer path be
to just admit that he might never be able to handle the thirst the way the rest of us could, and not push
his limits? Why flirt with disaster?

It had been two weeks since our last hunting trip. That was not an immensely difficult time span for the
rest of us. A little uncomfortable occasionally-if a human walked too close, if the wind blew the wrong
way. But humans rarely walked too close.

Their instincts told them what their conscious minds would never understand: we were dangerous.

Jasper was very dangerous right now.

At that moment, a small girl paused at the end of the closest table to ours, stopping to talk to a friend.

She tossed her short, sandy hair, running her fingers through it. The heaters blew her scent in our
direction. I was used to the way that scent made me feel-the dry ache in my throat, the hollow yearn in
my stomach, the automatic tightening of my muscles, the excess flow of venom in my mouth...

This was all quite normal, usually easy to ignore. It was harder just now, with the feelings stronger,
doubled, as I monitored Jasper's reaction. Twin thirsts, rather than just mine.

Jasper was letting his imagination get away from him. He was picturing it-picturing himself getting up
from his seat next to Alice and going to stand beside the little girl. Thinking of leaning down and in, as if
he were going to whisper in her ear, and letting his lips touch the arch of her throat. Imagining how the
hot flow of her pulse beneath the fine skin would feel under his mouth...

I kicked his chair.

He met my gaze for a minute, and then looked down. I could hear shame and rebellion war in his head.

"Sorry," Jasper muttered.

I shrugged.

"You weren't going to do anything," Alice murmured to him, soothing his chagrin. "I could see that."

I fought back the grimace that would give her lie away. We had to stick together, Alice and I. It wasn't
easy, hearing voices or seeing visions of the future. Both freaks among those who were already freaks.

We protected each other's secrets.

"It helps a little if you think of them as people," Alice suggested, her high, musical voice too fast for
human ears to understand, if any had been close enough to hear. "Her name is Whitney. She has a baby
sister she adores. Her mother invited Esme to that garden party, do you remember?"

"I know who she is," Jasper said curtly. He turned away to stare out one of the small windows that were
spaced just under the eaves around the long room. His tone ended the conversation.

He would have to hunt tonight. It was ridiculous to take risks like this, trying to test his strength, to build
his endurance. Jasper should just accept his limitations and work within them. His former habits were
not conducive to our chosen lifestyle; he shouldn't push himself in this way.

Alice sighed silently and stood, taking her tray of food-her prop, as it were-with her and leaving him
alone. She knew when he'd had enough of her encouragement.

Though Rosalie and Emmett were more flagrant about their relationship, it was Alice and Jasper who
knew each other's every mood as well as their own. As if they could read minds, too-only just each
other's.

Edward Cullen.

Reflex reaction. I turned to the sound of my name being called, though it wasn't being called, just
thought.

My eyes locked for a small portion of a second with a pair of wide, chocolate-brown human eyes set in a
pale, heart-shaped face. I knew the face, though I'd never seen it myself before this moment. It had
been foremost in every human head today. The new student, Isabella Swan. Daughter of the town's
chief of police, brought to live here by some new custody situation. Bella. She'd corrected everyone

who'd used her full name...

I looked away, bored. It took me a second to realize that she had not been the one to think my name.
Of course she's already crushing on the Cullens, I heard the first thought continue.

Now I recognized the 'voice.' Jessica Stanley-it had been a while since she'd bothered me with her
internal chatter. What a relief it had been when she'd gotten over her misplaced infatuation. It used to
be nearly impossible to escape her constant, ridiculous daydreams. I'd wished, at the time, that I could
explain to her exactly what would have happened if my lips, and the teeth behind them, had gotten
anywhere near her. That would have silenced those annoying fantasies. The thought of her reaction
almost made me smile.

Fat lot of good it will do her, Jessica went on. She's really not even pretty. I don't know why Eric is
staring so much...or Mike.

She winced mentally on the last name. Her new infatuation, the generically popular Mike Newton, was
completely oblivious to her. Apparently, he was not as oblivious to the new girl. Like the child with the
shiny object again. This put a mean edge to Jessica's thoughts, though she was outwardly cordial to the
newcomer as she explained to her the commonly held knowledge about my family. The new student
must have asked about us.

Everyone's looking at me today, too, Jessica thought smugly in an aside. Isn't it lucky Bella had two
classes with me...I'll bet Mike will want to ask me what she's-

I tried to block the inane chatter out of my head before the petty and the trivial could drive me mad.

"Jessica Stanley is giving the new Swan girl all the dirty laundry on the Cullen clan," I murmured to

Emmett as a distraction.

He chuckled under his breath. I hope she's making it good, he thought.

"Rather unimaginative, actually. Just the barest hint of scandal. Not an ounce of horror. I'm a little
disappointed."

And the new girl? Is she disappointed in the gossip as well?

I listened to hear what this new girl, Bella, thought of Jessica's story. What did she see when she looked
at the strange, chalky-skinned family that was universally avoided?

It was sort of my responsibility to know her reaction. I acted as a lookout, for lack of a better word, for
my family. To protect us. If anyone ever grew suspicious, I could give us early warning and an easy
retreat. It happened occasionally-some human with an active imagination would see in us the characters
of a book or a movie. Usually they got it wrong, but it was better to move on somewhere new than to
risk scrutiny.

Very, very rarely, someone would guess right. We didn't give them a chance to test their hypothesis. We
simply disappeared, to become no more than a frightening memory...

I heard nothing, though I listened close beside where Jessica's frivolous internal monologue continued to
gush. It was as if there was no one sitting beside her. How peculiar, had the girl moved? That didn't
seem likely, as Jessica was still babbling to her.

I looked up to check, feeling off-balance. Checking on what my extra 'hearing' could tell me-it wasn't
something I ever had to do.

Again, my gaze locked on those same wide brown eyes. She was sitting right where she had been
before, and looking at us, a natural thing to be doing, I supposed, as Jessica was still regaling her with
the local gossip about the Cullens.

Thinking about us, too, would be natural.

But I couldn't hear a whisper.

Inviting warm red stained her cheeks as she looked down, away from the embarrassing gaffe of getting
caught staring at a stranger. It was good that Jasper was still gazing out the window. I didn't like to
imagine what that easy pooling of blood would do to his control.

The emotions had been as clear on her face as if they were spelled out in words across her forehead:
surprise, as she unknowingly absorbed the signs of the subtle differences between her kind and mine,
curiosity, as she listened to Jessica's tale, and something more...fascination? It wouldn't be the first
time. We were beautiful to them, our intended prey. Then, finally, embarrassment as I caught her
staring at me.

And yet, though her thoughts had been so clear in her odd eyes-odd, because of the depth to them;
brown eyes often seemed flat in their darkness-I could hear nothing but silence from the place she was
sitting. Nothing at all.

I felt a moment of unease.

This was nothing I'd ever encountered before. Was there something wrong with me? I felt exactly the
same as I always did. Worried, I listened harder.

All the voices I'd been blocking were suddenly shouting in my head.
...wonder what music she likes...maybe I could mention that new CD... Mike Newton was thinking, two
tables away-fixated on Bella Swan.

Look at him staring at her. Isn't it enough that he has half the girls in school waiting for him to... Eric
Yorkie was thinking sulfurous thoughts, also revolving around the girl.

...so disgusting. You'd think she was famous or something... Even Edward Cullen , staring... Lauren

Mallory was so jealous that her face, by all rights, should be dark jade in color. And Jessica, flaunting her
new best friend. What a joke... Vitriol continued to spew from the girl's thoughts.

...I bet everyone has asked her that. But I'd like to talk to her. I'll think of a more original
question...Ashley Dowling mused.

...maybe she'll be in my Spanish...June Richardson hoped.

...tons left to do tonight! Trig, and the English test. I hope my mom...Angela Weber, a quiet girl, whose
thoughts were unusually kind, was the only one at the table who wasn't obsessed with this Bella.

I could hear them all, hear every insignificant thing they were thinking as it passed through their minds.
But nothing at all from the new student with the deceptively communicative eyes.

And, of course, I could hear what the girl said when she spoke to Jessica. I didn't have to read minds to
be able to hear her low, clear voice on the far side of the long room.

"Which one is the boy with the reddish brown hair?" I heard her ask, sneaking a look at me from the
corner of her eye, only to look quickly away when she saw that I was still staring.

If I'd had time to hope that hearing the sound of her voice would help me pinpoint the tone of her
thoughts, lost somewhere where I couldn't access them, I was instantly disappointed. Usually, people's
thoughts came to them in a similar pitch as their physical voices. But this quiet, shy voice was unfamiliar,
not one of the hundreds of thoughts bouncing around the room, I was sure of that. Entirely new.
Oh, good luck, idiot! Jessica thought before answering the girl's question.

"That's Edward. He's gorgeous, of course, but don't waste your time. He doesn't date. Apparently none
of the girls here are good-looking enough for him." She sniffed.

I turned my head away to hide my smile. Jessica and her classmates had no idea how lucky they were
that none of them particularly appealed to me.

Beneath the transient humor, I felt a strange impulse, one I did not clearly understand. It had something
to do with the vicious edge to Jessica's thoughts that the new girl was unaware of... I felt the strangest
urge to step in between them, to shield this Bella Swan from the darker workings of Jessica's mind.

What an odd thing to feel.

Trying to ferret out the motivations behind the impulse, I examined the new girl one more time.
Perhaps it was just some long buried protective instinct-the strong for the weak. This girl looked more
fragile than her new classmates. Her skin was so translucent it was hard to believe it offered her much
defense from the outside world. I could see the rhythmic pulse of blood through her veins under the
clear, pale membrane... But I should not concentrate on that. I was good at this life I'd chosen, but I was
just as thirsty as Jasper and there was no point in inviting temptation.

There was a faint crease between her eyebrows that she seemed unaware of. It was unbelievable
frustrating! I could clearly see that it was a strain for her to sit there, to make conversation with
strangers, to be the center of attention. I could sense her shyness from the way she held her fraillooking
shoulders, slightly hunched, as if she was expecting a rebuff at any moment. And yet I could only
sense, could only see, could only imagine. There was nothing but silence from the very unexceptional
human girl. I could hear nothing. Why?

"Shall we?" Rosalie murmured, interrupting my focus.

I looked away from the girl with a sense of relief. I didn't want to continue to fail at this-it irritated me.

And I didn't want to develop any interest in her hidden thoughts simply because they were hidden from
me. No doubt, when I did decipher her thoughts-and I would find a way to do so-they would be just as
petty and trivial as any human's thoughts. Not worth the effort I would expend to reach them.

"So, is the new one afraid of us yet?" Emmett asked, still waiting for my response to his question before.

I shrugged. He wasn't interested enough to press for a more information. Nor should I be interested.

We got up from the table and walked out of the cafeteria.

Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper were pretending to be seniors; they left for their classes. I was playing a
younger role than they. I headed off for my junior level biology class, preparing my mind for the tedium.

It was doubtful Mr. Banner, a man of no more than average intellect, would manage to pull out anything
in his lecture that would surprise someone holding two graduate degrees in medicine.
In the classroom, I settled into my chair and let my books-props, again; they held nothing I didn't already
know-spill across the table. I was the only student who had a table to himself. The humans weren't
smart enough to know that they feared me, but their survival instincts were enough to keep them away.

The room slowly filled as they trickled in from lunch. I leaned back in my chair and waited for the time to
pass. Again, I wished I was able to sleep.

Because I'd been thinking about her, when Angela Weber escorted the new girl through the door, her
name intruded on my attention.

Bella seems just as shy as me. I'll bet today is really hard for her. I wish I could say something...but it
would probably just sound stupid...

Yes! Mike Newton thought, turning in his seat to watch the girls enter.

Still, from the place where Bella Swan stood, nothing. The empty space where her thoughts should be
irritated and unnerved me.

She came closer, walking down the aisle beside me to get to the teacher's desk.

Poor girl; the seat next to me was the only one available. Automatically, I cleared what would be her
side of the desk, shoving my books into a pile. I doubted she would feel very comfortable there. She was
in for a long semester-in this class, at least. Perhaps, though, sitting beside her, I'd be able to flush out
her secrets...not that I'd ever needed close proximity before...not that I would find anything worth
listening to...

Bella Swan walked into the flow of the heated air that blew toward me from the vent.

Her scent hit me like wrecking ball, like a battering ram. There was no image violent enough to
encapsulate the force of what happened to me in that moment.

In that instant, I was nothing close to the human I'd once been; no trace of the shreds of humanity I'd
managed to cloak myself in remained.

I was a predator. She was my prey. There was nothing else in the whole world but that truth.

There was no room full of witnesses-they were already collateral damage in my head. The mystery of
her thoughts was forgotten. Her thoughts meant nothing, for she would not go on thinking them much
longer.

I was a vampire, and she had the sweetest blood I'd smelled in eighty years.

I hadn't imagined such a scent could exist. If I'd known it did, I would have gone searching for it long ago.

I would have combed the planet for her. I could imagine the taste...

Thirst burned through my throat like fire. My mouth was baked and desiccated. The fresh flow of venom
did nothing to dispel that sensation. My stomach twisted with the hunger that was an echo of the thirst.

My muscles coiled to spring.

Not a full second had passed. She was still taking the same step that had put her downwind from me.

As her foot touched the ground, her eyes slid toward me, a movement she clearly meant to be stealthy.

Her glance met mine, and I saw myself reflected in the wide mirror of her eyes.

The shock of the face I saw there saved her life for a few thorny moments.

She didn't make it easier. When she processed the expression on my face, blood flooded her cheeks
again, turning her skin the most delicious color I'd ever seen. The scent was a thick haze in my brain. I
could barely think through it. My thoughts raged, resisting control, incoherent.
She walked more quickly now, as if she understood the need to escape. Her haste made her clumsy-she
tripped and stumbled forward, almost falling into the girl seated in front of me. Vulnerable, weak. Even
more than usual for a human.

I tried to focus on the face I'd seen in her eyes, a face I recognized with revulsion.

The face of the monster in me-the face I'd beaten back with decades of effort and uncompromising
discipline. How easily it sprang to the surface now!

The scent swirled around me again, scattering my thoughts and nearly propelling me out of my seat.

No.

My hand gripped under the edge of the table as I tried to hold myself in my chair.

The wood was not up to the task. My hand crushed through the strut and came away with a palm full of
splintered pulp, leaving the shape of my fingers carved into the remaining wood.

Destroy evidence. That was a fundamental rule. I quickly pulverized the edges of the shape with my
fingertips, leaving nothing but a ragged hole and a pile of shavings on the floor, which I scattered with
my foot.

Destroy evidence. Collateral damage....

I knew what had to happen now. The girl would have to come sit beside me, and I would have to kill her.

The innocent bystanders in this classroom, eighteen other children and one man, could not be allowed
to leave this room, having seen what they would soon see.

I flinched at the thought of what I must do. Even at my very worst, I had never committed this kind of
atrocity. I had never killed innocents, not in over eight decades.

And now I planned to slaughter twenty of them at once.

The face of the monster in the mirror mocked me.

Even as part of me shuddered away from the monster, another part was planning it.

If I killed the girl first, I would have only fifteen or twenty seconds with her before the humans in the
room would react. Maybe a little bit longer, if at first they did not realize what I was doing. She would
not have time to scream or feel pain; I would not kill her cruelly. That much I could give this stranger
with her horribly desirable blood.

But then I would have to stop them from escaping. I wouldn't have to worry about the windows, too
high up and small to provide an escape for anyone. Just the door-block that and they were trapped.

It would be slower and more difficult, trying to take them all down when they were panicked and
scrambling, moving in chaos. Not impossible, but there would be much more noise. Time for lots of
screaming. Someone would hear...and I'd be forced to kill even more innocents in this black hour.

And her blood would cool, while I murdered the others.

The scent punished me, closing my throat with dry aching...

So the witnesses first then.

I mapped it out in my head. I was in the middle of the room, the furthest row in the back. I would take
my right side first. I could snap four or five of their necks per second, I estimated. It would not be noisy.

The right side would be the lucky side; they would not see me coming. Moving around the front and
back up the left side, it would take me, at most, five seconds to end every life in this room.

Long enough for Bella Swan to see, briefly, what was coming for her. Long enough for her to feel fear.

Long enough, maybe, if shock didn't freeze her in place, for her to work up a scream. One soft scream
that would not bring anyone running.

I took a deep breath, and the scent was a fire that raced through my dry veins, burning out from my
chest to consume every better impulse that I was capable of. She was just turning now. In a few
seconds, she would sit down inches away from me.

The monster in my head smiled in anticipation.

Someone slammed shut a folder on my left. I didn't look up to see which of the doomed humans it was.

But the motion sent a wave of ordinary, unscented air wafting across my face.

For one short second, I was able to think clearly. In that precious second, I saw two faces in my head,
side by side.

One was mine, or rather had been: the red-eyed monster that had killed so many people that I'd stop
counting their numbers. Rationalized, justified murders. A killer of killers, a killer of other, less powerful
monsters. It was a god complex, I acknowledged that-deciding who deserved a death sentence. It was a
compromise with myself. I had fed on human blood, but only by the loosest definition. My victims were,
in their various dark pastimes, barely more human than I was.

The other face was Carlisle's.

There was no resemblance between the two faces. They were bright day and blackest night.
There was no reason for there to be a resemblance. Carlisle was not my father in the basic biological
sense. We shared no common features. The similarity in our coloring was a product of what we were;
every vampire had the same ice pale skin. The similarity in the color of our eyes was another matter-a
reflection of a mutual choice.

And yet, though there was no basis for a resemblance, I'd imagined that my face had begun to reflect
his, to an extent, in the last seventy-odd years that I had embraced his choice and followed in his steps.

My features had not changed, but it seemed to me like some of his wisdom had marked my expression,
that a little of his compassion could be traced in the shape of my mouth, and hints of his patience were
evident on my brow.

All those tiny improvements were lost in the face of the monster. In a few moments, there would be
nothing left in me that would reflect the years I'd spent with my creator, my mentor, my father in all the
ways that counted. My eyes would glow red as a devil's; all likeness would be lost forever.

In my head, Carlisle's kind eyes did not judge me. I knew that he would forgive me for this horrible act
that I would do. Because he loved me. Because he thought I was better than I was. And he would still
love me, even as I now proved him wrong.

Bella Swan sat down in the chair next to me, her movements stiff and awkward-with fear?-and the scent
of her blood bloomed in an inexorable cloud around me.

I would prove my father wrong about me. The misery of this fact hurt almost as much as the fire in my
throat.

I leaned away from her in revulsion-revolted by the monster aching to take her.
Why did she have to come here? Why did she have to exist? Why did she have to ruin the little peace I
had in this non-life of mine? Why had this aggravating human ever been born? She would ruin me.

I turned my face away from her, as a sudden fierce, unreasoning hatred washed through me.
Who was this creature? Why me, why now? Why did I have to lose everything just because she
happened to choose this unlikely town to appear in?
Why had she come here!

I didn't want to be the monster! I didn't want to kill this room full of harmless children! I didn't want to
lose everything I'd gained in a lifetime of sacrifice and denial!

I wouldn't. She couldn't make me.

The scent was the problem, the hideously appealing scent of her blood. If there was only some way to
resist...if only another gust of fresh air could clear my head.

Bella Swan shook out her long, thick, mahogany hair in my direction.

Was she insane? It was as if she were encouraging the monster! Taunting him. There was no friendly
breeze to blow the smell away from me now. All would soon be lost.

No, there was no helpful breeze. But I didn't have to breathe.

I stopped the flow of air through my lungs; the relief was instantaneous, but incomplete. I still had the
memory of the scent in my head, the taste of it on the back of my tongue. I wouldn't be able to resist
even that for long. But perhaps I could resist for an hour. One hour. Just enough time to get out of this
room full of victims, victims that maybe didn't have to be victims. If I could resist for one short hour.

It was an uncomfortable feeling, not breathing. My body did not need oxygen, but it went against my
instincts. I relied on scent more than my other senses in times of stress. It led the way in the hunt, it was
the first warning in case of danger. I did not often came across something as dangerous as I was, but
self-preservation was just as strong in my kind as it was in the average human.
Uncomfortable, but manageable. More bearable than smelling her and not sinking my teeth through
that fine, thin, see-through skin to the hot, wet, pulsing-

An hour! Just one hour. I must not think of the scent, the taste.

The silent girl kept her hair between us, leaning forward so that it spilled across her folder. I couldn't see
her face, to try to read the emotions in her clear, deep eyes.
Was this why she'd let her tresses fan out between us? To hide those eyes from me? Out of fear?

Shyness? To keep her secrets from me?

My former irritation at being stymied by her soundless thoughts was weak and pale in comparison to
the need-and the hate-that possessed me now. For I hated this frail woman-child beside me, hated her
with all the fervor with which I clung to my former self, my love of my family, my dreams of being
something better than what I
was... Hating her, hating how she made me feel-it helped a little. Yes, the irritation I'd felt before was
weak, but it, too, helped a little. I clung to any emotion that distracted me from imagining what she
would taste like...

Hate and irritation. Impatience. Would the hour never pass?

And when the hour ended... Then she would walk out of this room. And I would do what?

I could introduce myself. Hello, my name is Edward Cullen. May I walk you to your next class?

She would say yes. It would be the polite thing to do. Even already fearing me, as I suspected she did,
she would follow convention and walk beside me. It should be easy enough to lead her in the wrong
direction. A spur of the forest reached out like a finger to touch the back corner of the parking lot. I
could tell her I'd forgotten a book in my car...
Would anyone notice that I was the last person she'd been seen with? It was raining, as usual; two dark
raincoats heading the wrong direction wouldn't pique too much interest, or give me away.
Except that I was not the only student who was aware of her today-though no one was as blisteringly
aware as I was. Mike Newton, in particular, was conscious of every shift in her weight as she fidgeted in
her chair-she was uncomfortable so close to me, just as anyone would be, just as I'd expected before her
scent had destroyed all charitable concern. Mike Newton would notice if she left the classroom with me.

If I could last an hour, could I last two?

I flinched at the pain of the burning.

She would go home to an empty house. Police Chief Swan worked a full day. I knew his house, as I knew
every house in the tiny town. His home was nestled right up against thick woods, with no close
neighbors. Even if she had time to scream, which she would not, there would be no one to hear.

That would be the responsible way to deal with this. I'd gone seven decades without human blood. If I
held my breath, I could last two hours. And when I had her alone, there would be no chance of anyone
else getting hurt. And no reason to rush through the experience, the monster in my head agreed.
It was sophistry to think that by saving the nineteen humans in this room with effort and patience, I
would be less a monster when I killed this innocent girl.

Though I hated her, I knew my hatred was unjust. I knew that what I really hated was myself. And I
would hate us both so much more when she was dead.

I made it through the hour in this way-imagining the best ways to kill her. I tried to avoid imagining the
actual act. That might be too much for me; I might lose this battle and end up killing everyone in sight.
So I planned strategy, and nothing more. It carried me through the hour.
Once, toward the very end, she peeked up at me through the fluid wall of her hair.

I could feel the unjustified hatred burning out of me as I met her gaze-see the reflection of it in her
frightened eyes. Blood painted her cheek before she could hide in her hair again, and I was nearly
undone.

But the bell rang. Saved by the bell-how cliché. We were both saved. She, saved from death. I, saved for
just a short time from being the nightmarish creature I feared and loathed.

I couldn't walk as slowly as I should as I darted from the room. If anyone had been looking at me, they
might have suspected that there was something not right about the way I moved. No one was paying
attention to me. All human thoughts still swirled around the girl who was condemned to die in little
more than an hour's time.

I hid in my car.

I didn't like to think of myself having to hide. How cowardly that sounded. But it was unquestionably the
case now.

I didn't have enough discipline left to be around humans now. Focusing so much of my efforts on not
killing one of them left me no resources to resist the others. What a waste that would be. If I were to
give in to the monster, I might as well make it worth the defeat.

I played a CD of music that usually calmed me, but it did little for me now. No, what helped most now
was the cool, wet, clean air that drifted with the light rain through my open windows. Though I could
remember the scent of Bella Swan's blood with perfect clarity, inhaling the clean air was like washing
out the inside of my body from its infection.

I was sane again. I could think again. And I could fight again. I could fight against what I didn't want to
be.

I didn't have to go to her home. I didn't have to kill her. Obviously, I was a rational, thinking creature,
and I had a choice. There was always a choice.

It hadn't felt that way in the classroom...but I was away from her now. Perhaps, if I avoided her very,
very carefully, there was no need for my life to change. I had things ordered the way I liked them now.
Why should I let some aggravating and delicious nobody ruin that?

I didn't have to disappoint my father. I didn't have to cause my mother stress, worry...pain. Yes, it would
hurt my adopted mother, too. And Esme was so gentle, so tender and soft. Causing someone like Esme
pain was truly inexcusable.

How ironic that I'd wanted to protect this human girl from the paltry, toothless threat of Jessica
Stanley's snide thoughts. I was the last person who would ever stand as a protector for Isabella Swan.
She would never need protection from anything more than she needed it from me.

Where was Alice, I suddenly wondered? Hadn't she seen me killing the Swan girl in a multitude of ways?
Why hadn't she come to help-to stop me or help me clean up the evidence, whichever? Was she so
absorbed with watching for trouble with Jasper that she'd missed this much more horrific possibility?

Was I stronger than I thought?

Would I really not have done anything to the girl?

No. I knew that wasn't true. Alice must be concentrating on Jasper very hard.

I searched in the direction I knew she would be, in the small building used for English classes. It did not
take me long to locate her familiar 'voice.' And I was right.

Her every thought was turned to Jasper, watching his small choices with minute scrutiny.

I wished I could ask her advice, but at the same time, I was glad she didn't know what I was capable of.

That she was unaware of the massacre I had considered in the last hour.

I felt a new burn through my body-the burn of shame. I didn't want any of them to know.

If I could avoid Bella Swan, if I could manage not to kill her-even as I thought that, the monster writhed
and gnashed his teeth in frustration-then no one would have to know. If I could keep away from her
scent...

There was no reason why I shouldn't try, at least. Make a good choice. Try to be what Carlisle thought I
was.

The last hour of school was almost over. I decided to put my new plan into action at once. Better than
sitting here in the parking lot where she might pass me and ruin my attempt. Again, I felt the unjust
hatred for the girl. I hated that she had this unconscious power over me. That she could make me be
something I reviled.

I walked swiftly-a little too swiftly, but there were no witnesses-across the tiny campus to the office.
There was no reason for Bella Swan to cross paths with me. She would be avoided like the plague she
was.

The office was empty except for the secretary, the one I wanted to see.
She didn't notice my silent entrance.

"Mrs. Cope?"

The woman with the unnaturally red hair looked up and her eyes widened. It always caught them off
guard, the little markers they didn't understand, no matter how many times they'd seen one of us
before.

"Oh," she gasped, a little flustered. She smoothed her shirt. Silly, she thought to herself. He's almost
young enough to be my son. Too young to think of that way...

"Hello, Edward. What can I do for you?" Her eyelashes fluttered behind her thick glasses.

Uncomfortable. But I knew how to be charming when I wanted to be. It was easy, since I was able to

know instantly how any tone or gesture was taken.

I leaned forward, meeting her gaze as if I were staring deeply into her depthless, small brown eyes. Her
thoughts were already in a flutter. This should be simple.

"I was wondering if you could help me with my schedule," I said in the soft voice I reserved for not
scaring humans. I heard the tempo of her heart increase.

"Of course, Edward. How can I help?" Too young, too young, she chanted to herself. Wrong, of course. I
was older than her grandfather. But according to my driver's license, she was right.

"I was wondering if I could move from my biology class to a senior level science? Physics, perhaps?"

"It there a problem with Mr. Banner, Edward?"

"Not at all, it's just that I've already studied this material..."

"In that accelerated school you all went to in Alaska, right." Her thin lips pursed as she considered this.

They should all be in college. I've heard the teachers complain. Perfect four point ohs, never a hesitation
with a response, never a wrong answer on a test-like they've found some way to cheat in every subject.
Mr. Varner would rather believe that anyone was cheating than think a student was smarter than him...

I'll bet their mother tutors them... "Actually, Edward, physics is pretty much full right now. Mr. Banner
hates to have more than twenty-five students in a class-"

"I wouldn't be any trouble."
Of course not. Not a perfect Cullen. "I know that, Edward. But there just aren't enough seats as it is..."

"Could I drop the class, then? I could use the period for independent study."

"Drop biology?" He mouth fell open. That's crazy. How hard is it to sit through a subject you already
know? There must be a problem with Mr. Banner. I wonder if I should talk to Bob about it? "You won't
have enough credits to graduate."

"I'll catch up next year."

"Maybe you should talk to your parents about that."
The door opened behind me, but who ever it was did not think of me, so I ignored the arrival and
concentrated on Mrs. Cope. I leaned slightly closer, and held my eyes a little wider. This would work
better if they were gold instead of black. The blackness frightened people, as it should.

"Please, Mrs. Cope?" I made my voice as smooth and compelling as it could be-and it could be
considerably compelling. "Isn't there some other section I could switch to? I'm sure there has to be an
open slot somewhere? Sixth hour biology can't be the only option..."

I smiled at her, careful not to flash my teeth so widely that it would scare her, letting the expression
soften my face.

Her heart drummed faster. Too young, she reminded herself frantically. "Well, maybe I could talk to
Bob-I mean Mr. Banner. I could see if-"

A second was all it took to change everything: the atmosphere in the room, my mission here, the reason

I leaned toward the red-haired woman... What had been for one purpose before was now for another.

A second was all it took for Samantha Wells to open the door and place a signed tardy slip in the basket
by the door, and hurry out again, in a rush to be away from school.

A second was all it took for the sudden gust of wind through the open door to crash into me. A second
was all it took for me to realize why that first person through the door had not interrupted me with her
thoughts.

I turned, though I did not need to make sure. I turned slowly, fighting to control the muscles that
rebelled against me.

Bella Swan stood with her back pressed to the wall beside the door, a piece of paper clutched in her
hands. Her eyes were even wider than usual as she took in my ferocious, inhuman glare.

The smell of her blood saturated every particle of air in the tiny, hot room. My throat burst into flames.

The monster glared back at me from the mirror of her eyes again, a mask of evil. My hand hesitated in
the air above the counter. I would not have to look back in order to reach across it and slam Mrs. Cope's
head into her desk with enough force to kill her.

Two lives, rather than twenty. A trade.

The monster waited anxiously, hungrily, for me to do it. But there was always a choice-there had to be.

I cut off the motion of my lungs, and fixed Carlisle's face in front of my eyes. I turned back to face Mrs.
Cope, and heard her internal surprise at the change in my expression. She shrank away from me, but her
fear did not form into coherent words.

Using all the control I'd mastered in my decades of self-denial, I made my voice even and smooth. There
was just enough air left in my lungs to speak once more, rushing through the words.

"Never mind, then. I can see that it's impossible. Thank you so much for your help."
I spun and launched myself from the room, trying not to feel the warm-blooded heat of the girl's body
as I passed within inches of it.

I didn't stop until I was in my car, moving too fast the entire way there. Most of the humans had cleared
out already, so there weren't a lot of witnesses. I heard a sophomore, D.J. Garrett, notice, and then
disregard...

Where did Cullen come from-it was like he just came out of thin air... There I go, with the imagination
again. Mom always says...
When I slid into my Volvo, the others were already there. I tried to control my breathing, but I was
gasping at the fresh air like I'd been suffocated.

"Edward?" Alice asked, alarm in her voice.

I just shook my head at her.

"What the hell happened to you?" Emmett demanded, distracted, for the moment, from the fact that
Jasper was not in the mood for his rematch.

Instead of answering, I threw the car into reverse. I had to get out of this lot before Bella Swan could
follow me here, too. My own person demon, haunting me... I swung the car around and accelerated. I
hit forty before I was on the road. On the road, I hit seventy before I made the corner.
Without looking, I knew that Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper had all turned to stare at Alice. She shrugged.

She couldn't see what had passed, only what was coming.

She looked ahead for me now. We both processed what she saw in her head, and we were both
surprised.

"You're leaving?" she whispered.

The others stared at me now.

"Am I?" I hissed through my teeth.

She saw it then, as my resolve wavered and another choice spun my future in a darker direction.

"Oh."

Bella Swan, dead. My eyes, glowing crimson with fresh blood. The search that would follow. The careful
time we would wait before it was safe for us to pull out and start again...

"Oh," she said again. The picture grew more specific. I saw the inside of Chief Swan's house for the first
time, saw Bella in a small kitchen with the yellow cupboards, her back to me as I stalked her from the
shadows...let the scent pull me toward her...

"Stop!" I groaned, not able to bear more.

"Sorry," she whispered, her eyes wide.

The monster rejoiced. And the vision in her head shifted again. An empty highway at night, the trees
beside it coated in snow, flashing by at almost two hundred miles per hour.

"I'll miss you," she said. "No matter how short a time you're gone."
Emmett and Rosalie exchanged an apprehensive glance.

We were almost to the turn off onto the long drive that led to our home.

"Drop us here," Alice instructed. "You should tell Carlisle yourself."
I nodded, and the car squealed to a sudden stop. Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper got out in silence; they
would make Alice explain when I was gone. Alice touched my shoulder.

"You will do the right thing," she murmured. Not a vision this time-an order.

"She's Charlie Swan's only family. It would kill him, too."

"Yes," I said, agreeing only with the last part.

She slid out to join the others, her eyebrows pulling together in anxiety. They melted into woods, out of
sight before I could turn the car around.

I accelerated back toward town, and I knew the visions in Alice's head would be flashing from dark to
bright like a strobe light. As I sped back to Forks doing ninety, I wasn't sure where I was going. To say
goodbye to my father? Or to embrace the monster inside me? The road flew away beneath my tires.

Continue Reading Twilight - Midnight Sun:
Chapters 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |

Read Twilight Saga Online

Twilight - Midnight Sun - Chapter 2. Open Book

2010-07-18T01:32:00.000-07:00

I leaned back against the soft snow bank, letting the dry powder reshape itself around my weight. My
skin had cooled to match the air around me, and the tiny pieces of ice felt like velvet under my skin.

The sky above me was clear, brilliant with stars, glowing blue in some places, yellow in others. The stars
created majestic, swirling shapes against the black universe-an awesome sight. Exquisitely beautiful. Or
rather, it should have been exquisite.

Would have been, if I'd been able to really see it.

It wasn't getting any better. Six days had passed, six days I'd hidden here in the empty Denali wilderness,
but I was no closer to freedom than I had been since the first moment that I'd caught her scent.
When I stared up at the jeweled sky, it was as if there were an obstruction between my eyes and their
beauty. The obstruction was a face, just an unremarkable human face, but I couldn't quite seem to
banish it from my mind.

I heard the approaching thoughts before I heard the footsteps that accompanied them. The sound of
movement was only a faint whisper against the powder.

I was not surprised that Tanya had followed me here. I knew she'd been mulling over this coming
conversation for the last few days, putting it off until she was sure of exactly what she wanted to say.
She sprang into sight about sixty yards away, leaping onto the tip of an outcropping of black rock and
balancing there on the balls of her bare feet.

Tanya's skin was silver in the starlight, and her long blond curls shone pale, almost pink with their
strawberry tint. Her amber eyes glinted as she spied me, half-buried in the snow, and her full lips
stretched slowly into a smile.

Exquisite. If I'd really been able to see her. I sighed.

She crouched down on the point of the stone, her fingertips touching the rock, her body coiled.
Cannonball, she thought.

She launched herself into the air; her shape became a dark, twisting shadow as she spun gracefully
between me and the stars. She curled herself into a ball just as she struck the piled snow bank beside
me.

A blizzard of snow flew up around me. The stars went black and I was buried deep in the feathery ice
crystals.

I sighed again, but didn't move to unearth myself. The blackness under the snow neither hurt nor
improved the view. I still saw the same face.

"Edward?"

Then snow was flying again as Tanya swiftly disinterred me. She brushed the powder from my unmoving
face, not quite meeting my eyes.

"Sorry," she murmured. "It was a joke."

"I know. It was funny."

Her mouth twisted down. "Irina and Kate said I should leave you alone. They think I'm annoying you."

"Not at all," I assured her. "On the contrary, I'm the one who's being rude-abominably rude. I'm very
sorry."

You're going home, aren't you? She thought.

"I haven't...entirely...decided that yet."

But you're not staying here. Her thought was wistful now, sad.

"No. It doesn't seem to be...helping."

She grimaced. "That's my fault, isn't it?"

"Of course not," I lied smoothly.

Don't be a gentleman.

I smiled.

I make you uncomfortable, she accused.

"No."

She raised one eyebrow, her expression so disbelieving that I had to laugh. One short laugh, followed by
another sigh.

"All right," I admitted. "A little bit."

She sighed, too, and put her chin in her hands. Her thoughts were chagrined.

"You're a thousand times lovelier than the stars, Tanya. Of course, you're already well aware of that.

Don't let my stubbornness undermine your confidence." I chuckled at the unlikeliness of that.

"I'm not used to rejection," she grumbled, her lower lip pushing out into an attractive pout.

"Certainly not," I agreed, trying with little success to block out her thoughts as she fleetingly sifted
through memories of her thousands of successful conquests. Mostly Tanya preferred human men-they
were much more populous for one thing, with the added advantage of being soft and warm. And always
eager, definitely.

"Succubus," I teased, hoping to interrupt the images flickering in her head.
She grinned, flashing her teeth. "The original."
Unlike Carlisle, Tanya and her sisters had discovered their consciences slowly. In the end, it was their
fondness for human men that turned the sisters against the slaughter.

Now the men they loved...lived.

"When you showed up here," Tanya said slowly. "I thought that..."
I'd known what she'd thought. And I should have guessed that she would have felt that way. But I hadn't
been at my best for analytical thinking in that moment.

"You thought that I'd changed my mind."

"Yes." She scowled.

"I feel horrible for toying with your expectations, Tanya. I didn't mean to-I wasn't thinking. It's just that I
left in...quite a hurry."

"I don't suppose you'd tell me why...?"

I sat up and wrapped my arms around my legs, curling defensively. "I don't want to talk about it."

Tanya, Irina and Kate were very good at this life they'd committed to. Better, in some ways, than even
Carlisle. Despite the insanely close proximity they allowed themselves with those who should be-and
once were-their prey, they did not make mistakes. I was too ashamed to admit my weakness to Tanya.

"Woman troubles?" she guessed, ignoring my reluctance.

I laughed a bleak laugh. "Not the way you mean it."
She was quiet then. I listened to her thoughts as she ran through different guesses, tried to decipher the
meaning of my words.

"You're not even close," I told her.

"One hint?" she asked.

"Please let it go, Tanya."

She was quiet again, still speculating. I ignored her, trying in vain to appreciate the stars. She gave up
after a silent moment, and her thoughts pursued a new direction.
Where will you go, Edward, if you leave? Back to Carlisle?

"I don't think so," I whispered.

Where would I go? I could not think of one place on the entire planet that held any interest for me.
There was nothing I wanted to see or do. Because, no matter where I went, I would not be going to
anywhere-I would only be running from. I hated that. When had I become such a coward?

Tanya threw her slender arm around my shoulders. I stiffened, but did not flinch out from under her
touch. She meant it as nothing more than friendly comfort. Mostly.

"I think that you will go back," she said, her voice taking on just a hint of her long lost Russian accent.

"No matter what it is...or who it is...that is haunting you. You'll face it head on. You're the type."

Her thoughts were as certain as her words. I tried to embrace the vision of myself that she carried in her
head. The one who faced things head on. It was pleasant to think of myself that way again. I'd never
doubted my courage, my ability to face difficulty, before that horrible hour in a high school biology class
such a short time ago.

I kissed her cheek, pulling back swiftly when she twisted her face toward mine, her lips already
puckered. She smiled ruefully at my quickness.

"Thank you, Tanya. I needed to hear that."

Her thoughts turned petulant. "You're welcome, I guess. I wish you would be more reasonable about
things, Edward."

"I'm sorry, Tanya. You know you're too good for me. I just...haven't found what I'm looking for yet."

"Well, if you leave before I see you again...goodbye, Edward."

"Goodbye, Tanya." As I said the words, I could see it. I could see myself leaving. Being strong enough to
go back to the one place where I wanted to be. "Thanks again."
She was on her feet in one nimble move, and then she was running away, ghosting across the snow so
quickly that her feet had no time to sink into the snow; she left no prints behind her. She didn't look
back. My rejection bothered her more than she'd let on before, even in her thoughts. She wouldn't want
to see me again before I left.

My mouth twisted with chagrin. I didn't like hurting Tanya, though her feelings were not deep, hardly
pure, and, in any case, not something I could return. It still made me feel less than a gentleman.

I put my chin on my knees and stared up at the stars again, though I was suddenly anxious to be on my
way. I knew that Alice would see me coming home, that she would tell the others. This would make
them happy-Carlisle and Esme especially. But I gazed at the stars for one more moment, trying to see
past the face in my head. Between me and the brilliant lights in the sky, a pair of bewildered chocolatebrown
eyes stared back at me, seeming to ask what this decision would mean for her. Of course, I
couldn't be sure if that was really the information her curious eyes sought. Even in my imagination, I
couldn't hear her thoughts.

Bella Swan's eyes continued to question, and an unobstructed view of the stars continued to elude me.
With a heavy sigh, I gave up, and got to my feet. If I ran, I would be back to Carlisle's car in less than an
hour...

In a hurry to see my family-and wanting very much to be the Edward that faced things head on-I raced
across the starlit snowfield, leaving no footprints.

"It's going to be okay," Alice breathed. Her eyes were unfocused, and Jasper had one hand lightly under
her elbow, guiding her forward as we walked into the rundown cafeteria in a close group. Rosalie and
Emmett led the way, Emmett looking ridiculously like a bodyguard in the middle of hostile territory.
Rose looked wary, too, but much more irritated than protective.

"Of course it is," I grumbled. Their behavior was ludicrous. If I wasn't positive that I could handle this
moment, I would have stayed home.

The sudden shift from our normal, even playful morning-it had snowed in the night, and Emmett and
Jasper were not above taking advantage of my distraction to bombard me with slush balls; when they
got bored with my lack of response, they'd turned on each other-to this overdone vigilance would have
been comical if it weren't so irritating.

"She's not here yet, but the way she's going to come in...she won't be downwind if we sit in our regular
spot."

"Of course we'll sit in our regular spot. Stop it, Alice. You're getting on my nerves. I'll be absolutely fine."

She blinked once as Jasper helped her into her seat, and her eyes finally focused on my face.

"Hmm," she said, sounding surprised. "I think you're right."

"Of course I am," I muttered.

I hated being the focus of their concern. I felt a sudden sympathy for Jasper, remembering all the times
we'd hovered protectively over him. He met my glance briefly, and grinned.

Annoying, isn't it?

I grimaced at him.

Was it just last week that this long, drab room had seemed so killingly dull to me?

That it had seemed almost like sleep, like a coma, to be here?

Today my nerves were stretched tight-piano wires, tensed to sing at the lightest pressure. My senses
were hyper-alert; I scanned every sound, every sight, every movement of the air that touched my skin,
every thought. Especially the thoughts. There was only one sense that I kept locked down, refused to
use. Smell, of course. I didn't breathe.

I was expecting to hear more about the Cullens in the thoughts that I sifted through. All day I'd been
waiting, searching for whichever new acquaintance Bella Swan might have confided in, trying to see the
direction the new gossip would take. But there was nothing. No one noticed the five vampires in the
cafeteria, just the same as before the new girl had come. Several of the humans here were still thinking
of that girl, still thinking the same thoughts from last week. Instead of finding this unutterably boring, I

was now fascinated.

Had she said nothing to anyone about me?

There was no way that she had not noticed my black, murderous glare. I had seen her react to it. Surely,
I'd scared her silly. I had been convinced that she would have mentioned it to someone, maybe even
exaggerated the story a bit to make it better. Given me a few menacing lines.

And then, she'd also heard me trying to get out of our shared biology class. She must have wondered,
after seeing my expression, whether she were the cause. A normal girl would have asked around,
compared her experience to others, looked for common ground that would explain my behavior so she
didn't feel singled out. Humans were constantly desperate to feel normal, to fit in. To blend in with
everyone else around them, like a featureless flock of sheep. The need was particularly strong during the
insecure adolescent years. This girl would be no exception to that rule.

But no one at all took any notice of us sitting here, at our normal table. Bella must be exceptionally shy,
if she'd confided in no one. Perhaps she had spoken to her father, maybe that was the strongest
relationship...though that seemed unlikely, given the fact that she had spent so little time with him
throughout her life. She would be closer to her mother. Still, I would have to pass by Chief Swan
sometime soon and listen to what he was thinking.

"Anything new?" Jasper asked.

"Nothing. She...must not have said anything."

All of them raised an eyebrow at this news.

"Maybe you're not as scary as you think you are," Emmett said, chuckling. "I bet I could have frightened
her better than that."

I rolled my eyes at him.

"Wonder why...?" He puzzled again over my revelation about the girl's unique silence.

"We've been over that. I don't know."

"She's coming in," Alice murmured then. I felt my body go rigid. "Try to look human."

"Human, you say?" Emmett asked.

He held up his right fist, twisting his fingers to reveal the snowball he'd saved in his palm. Of course it
had not melted there. He'd squeezed it into a lumpy block of ice. He had his eyes on Jasper, but I saw
the direction of his thoughts. So did Alice, of course. When he abruptly hurled the ice chunk at her, she
flicked it away with a casual flutter of her fingers. The ice ricocheted across the length of the cafeteria,
too fast to be visible to human eyes, and shattered with a sharp crack against the brick wall. The brick
cracked, too.

The heads in that corner of the room all turned to stare at the pile of broken ice on the floor, and then
swiveled to find the culprit. They didn't look further than a few tables away. No one looked at us.
"Very human, Emmett," Rosalie said scathingly. "Why don't you punch through the wall while you're at
it?"

"It would look more impressive if you did it, baby."
I tried to pay attention to them, keeping a grin fixed on my face like I was part of their banter. I did not
allow myself to look toward the line where I knew she was standing. But that was all that I was listening
to.

I could hear Jessica's impatience with the new girl, who seemed to be distracted, too, standing
motionless in the moving line. I saw, in Jessica's thoughts, that Bella Swan's cheeks were once more
colored bright pink with blood.

I pulled in short, shallow breaths, ready to quit breathing if any hint of her scent touched the air near
me.

Mike Newton was with the two girls. I heard both his voices, mental and verbal, when he asked Jessica
what was wrong with the Swan girl. I didn't like the way his thoughts wrapped around her, the flicker of
already established fantasies that clouded his mind while he watched her start and look up from her
reverie like she'd forgotten he was there.

"Nothing," I heard Bella say in that quiet, clear voice. It seemed to ring like a bell over the babble in the
cafeteria, but I knew that was just because I was listening for it so intently.

"I'll just get a soda today," she continued as she moved to catch up with the line.

I couldn't help flickering one glance in her direction. She was staring at the floor, the blood slowly fading
from her face. I looked away quickly, to Emmett, who laughed at the now pained-looking smile on my
face.

You look sick, bro.

I rearranged my features so the expression would seem casual and effortless.

Jessica was wondering aloud about the girl's lack of appetite. "Aren't you hungry?"

"Actually, I feel a little sick." Her voice was lower, but still very clear.

Why did it bother me, the protective concern that suddenly emanated from Mike Newton's thoughts?

What did it matter that there was a possessive edge to them? It wasn't my business if Mike Newton felt
unnecessarily anxious for her. Perhaps this was the way everyone responded to her. Hadn't I wanted,
instinctively, to protect her, too? Before I'd wanted to kill her, that is...

But was the girl ill?

It was hard to judge-she looked so delicate with her translucent skin... Then I realized that I was
worrying, too, just like that dimwitted boy, and I forced myself not to think about her health.
Regardless, I didn't like monitoring her through Mike's thoughts. I switched to Jessica's, watching
carefully as the three of them chose which table to sit at. Fortunately, they sat with Jessica's usual
companions, at one of the first tables in the room. Not downwind, just as Alice had promised.

Alice elbowed me. She's going to look soon, act human. I clenched my teeth behind my grin.

"Ease up, Edward," Emmett said. "Honestly. So you kill one human. That's hardly the end of the world."

"You would know," I murmured.
Emmett laughed. "You've got to learn to get over things. Like I do. Eternity is a long time to wallow in
guilt."

Just then, Alice tossed a smaller handful of ice that she'd been hiding into Emmett's unsuspecting face.

He blinked, surprised, and then grinned in anticipation.

"You asked for it," he said as he leaned across the table and shook his ice-encrusted hair in her direction.

The snow, melting in the warm room, flew out from his hair in a thick shower of half-liquid, half-ice.

"Ew!" Rose complained, as she and Alice recoiled from the deluge.

Alice laughed, and we all joined in. I could see in Alice's head how she'd orchestrated this perfect
moment, and I knew that the girl-I should stop thinking of her that way, as if she were the only girl in the
world-that Bella would be watching us laugh and play, looking as happy and human and unrealistically
ideal as a Norman Rockwell painting.

Alice kept laughing, and held her tray up as a shield. The girl-Bella must still be staring at us.
...staring at the Cullens again, someone thought, catching my attention.

I looked automatically toward the unintentional call, realizing as my eyes found their destination that I
recognized the voice-I'd been listening to it so much today. But my eyes slid right past Jessica, and
focused on the girl's penetrating gaze. She looked down quickly, hiding behind her thick hair again.
What was she thinking? The frustration seemed to be getting more acute as time went on, rather than
dulling. I tried-uncertain in what I was doing for I'd never tried this before-to probe with my mind at the
silence around her. My extra hearing had always come to me naturally, without asking; I'd never had to
work at it. But I concentrated now, trying to break through whatever shield surrounded her.

Nothing but silence.
What is it about her? Jessica thought, echoing my own frustration.

"Edward Cullen is staring at you," she whispered in the Swan girl's ear, adding a giggle. There was no
hint of her jealous irritation in her tone. Jessica seemed to be skilled at feigning friendship.

I listened, too engrossed, to the girl's response.

"He doesn't look angry, does he?" she whispered back.

So she had noticed my wild reaction last week. Of course she had.

The question confused Jessica. I saw my own face in her thoughts as she checked my expression, but I
did not meet her glance. I was still concentrating on the girl, trying to hear something. My intent focus
didn't seem to be helping at all.

"No," Jess told her, and I knew that she wished she could say yes-how it rankled inside her, my staringthough
there was no trace of that in her voice. "Should he be?"

"I don't think he likes me," the girl whispered back, laying her head down on her arm as if she were
suddenly tired. I tried to understand the motion, but I could only make guesses. Maybe she was tired.

"The Cullens don't like anybody," Jess reassured her. "Well, they don't notice anybody enough to like
them." They never used to. Her thought was a grumble of complaint. "But he's still staring at you."

"Stop looking at him," the girl said anxiously, lifting her head from her arm to make sure Jessica obeyed
the order.

Jessica giggled, but did as she was asked.
The girl did not look away from her table for the rest of the hour. I thought-though, of course, I could
not be sure-that this was deliberate. It seemed like she wanted to look at me. Her body would shift
slightly in my direction, her chin would begin to turn, and then she would catch herself, take a deep
breath, and stare fixedly at whoever was speaking.

I ignored the other thoughts around the girl for the most part, as they were not, momentarily, about
her. Mike Newton was planning a snow fight in the parking lot after school, not seeming to realize that
the snow had already shifted to rain. The flutter of soft flakes against the roof had become the more
common patter of raindrops. Could he really not hear the change? It seemed loud to me.
When the lunch period ended, I stayed in my seat. The humans filed out, and I caught myself trying to
distinguish the sound of her footsteps from the sound of the rest, as if there was something important
or unusual about them. How stupid.

My family made no move to leave, either. They waited to see what I would do.
Would I go to class, sit beside the girl where I could smell the absurdly potent scent of her blood and feel
the warmth of her pulse in the air on my skin? Was I strong enough for that? Or had I had enough for
one day?

"I... think it's okay," Alice said, hesitant. "Your mind is set. I think you'll make it through the hour."

But Alice knew well how quickly a mind could change.

"Why push it, Edward?" Jasper asked. Though he didn't want to feel smug that I was the one who was
weak now, I could hear that he did, just a little. "Go home. Take it slow."

"What's the big deal?" Emmett disagreed. "Either he will or he won't kill her. Might as well get it over
with, either way."

"I don't want to move yet," Rosalie complained. "I don't want to start over. We're almost out of high
school, Emmett. Finally."

I was evenly torn on the decision. I wanted, wanted badly, to face this head on rather than running away
again. But I didn't want to push myself too far, either. It had been a mistake last week for Jasper to go so
long without hunting; was this just as pointless a mistake?

I didn't want to uproot my family. None of them would thank me for that. But I wanted to go to my
biology class. I realized that I wanted to see her face again.
That's what decided it for me. That curiosity. I was angry with myself for feeling it. Hadn't I promised
myself that I wouldn't let the silence of the girl's mind make me unduly interested in her? And yet, here I
was, most unduly interested.

I wanted to know what she was thinking. Her mind was closed, but her eyes were very open. Perhaps I
could read them instead.

"No, Rose, I think it really will be okay," Alice said. "It's...firming up. I'm ninety-three percent sure that
nothing bad will happen if he goes to class." She looked at me inquisitively, wondering what had
changed in my thoughts that made her vision of the future more secure.
Would curiosity be enough to keep Bella Swan alive? Emmett was right, though-why not get it over with,
either way? I would face the temptation head on.

"Go to class," I ordered, pushing away from the table. I turned and strode away from them without
looking back. I could hear Alice's worry, Jasper's censure, Emmett's approval, and Rosalie's irritation
trailing after me.

I took one last deep breath at the door of the classroom, and then held it in my lungs as I walked into
the small, warm space.

I was not late. Mr. Banner was still setting up for today's lab. The girl sat at my-at our table, her face
down again, staring at the folder she was doodling on. I examined the sketch as I approached, interested
in even this trivial creation of her mind, but it was meaningless. Just a random scribbling of loops within
loops. Perhaps she was not concentrating on the pattern, but thinking of something else?

I pulled my chair back with unnecessary roughness, letting it scrape across the linoleum; humans always
felt more comfortable when noise announced someone's approach.

I knew she heard the sound; she did not look up, but her hand missed a loop in the design she was
drawing, making it unbalanced.

Why didn't she look up? Probably she was frightened. I must be sure to leave her with a different
impression this time. Make her think she'd been imagining things before.

"Hello," I said in the quiet voice I used when I wanted to make humans more comfortable, forming a
polite smile with my lips that would not show any teeth.

She looked up then, her wide brown eyes startled-almost bewildered-and full of silent questions. It was
the same expression that had been obstructing my vision for the last week.

As I stared into those oddly deep brown eyes, I realized that the hate-the hate I'd imagined this girl
somehow deserved for simply existing-had evaporated. Not breathing now, not tasting her scent, it was
hard to believe that anyone so vulnerable could ever justify hatred. Her cheeks began to flush, and she
said nothing.

I kept my eyes on hers, focusing only on their questioning depths, and tried to ignore the appetizing
color of her skin. I had enough breath to speak for a while longer without inhaling.

"My name is Edward Cullen," I said, though I knew she knew that. It was the polite way to begin. "I
didn't have a chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Bella Swan."
She seemed confused-there was that little pucker between her eyes again. It took her half a second
longer than it should have for her to respond.

"How do you know my name?" she demanded, and her voice shook just a little.

I must have truly terrified her. This made me feel guilty; she was just so defenseless. I laughed gently-it
was a sound that I knew made humans more at ease.

Again, I was careful about my teeth.

"Oh, I think everyone knows your name." Surely she must have realized that she'd become the center of
attention in this monotonous place. "The whole town's been waiting for you to arrive."
She frowned as if this information was unpleasant. I supposed, being shy as she seemed to be, attention
would seem like a bad thing to her. Most humans felt the opposite. Though they didn't want to stand
out from the herd, at the same time they craved a spotlight for their individual uniformity.

"No," she said. "I meant, why did you call me Bella?"

"Do you prefer Isabella?" I asked, perplexed by the fact that I couldn't see where this question was
leading. I didn't understand. Surely, she'd made her preference clear many times that first day. Were all
humans this incomprehensible without the mental context as a guide?

"No, I like Bella," she answered, leaning her head slightly to one side. Her expression-if I was reading it
correctly-was torn between embarrassment and confusion. "But I think Charlie-I mean my dad-must call
me Isabella behind my back.

That's what everyone here seems to know me as." Her skin darkened one shade pinker.

"Oh," I said lamely, and quickly looked away from her face.

I'd just realized what her questions meant: I had slipped up-made an error. If I hadn't been
eavesdropping on all the others that first day, then I would have addressed her initially by her full name,
just like everyone else. She'd noticed the difference.

I felt a pang of unease. It was very quick of her to pick up on my slip. Quite astute, especially for
someone who was supposed to be terrified by my nearness. But I had bigger problems than whatever
suspicions about me she might be keeping locked inside her head.

I was out of air. If I were going to speak to her again, I would have to inhale. It would be hard to avoid
speaking. Unfortunately for her, sharing this table made her my lab partner, and we would have to work
together today. It would seem odd-and incomprehensibly rude-for me to ignore her while we did the
lab. It would make her more suspicious, more afraid...

I leaned as far away from her as I could without moving my seat, twisting my head out into the aisle. I
braced myself, locking my muscles in place, and then sucked in one quick chest-full of air, breathing
through my mouth alone.

Ahh!

It was genuinely painful. Even without smelling her, I could taste her on my tongue. My throat was
suddenly in flames again, the craving every bit as strong as that first moment I'd caught her scent last
week.

I gritted my teeth together and tried to compose myself.

"Get started," Mr. Banner commanded.

It felt like it took every single ounce of self-control that I'd achieved in seventy years of hard work to
turn back to the girl, who was staring down at the table, and smile. "Ladies first, partner?" I offered.
She looked up at my expression and her face went blank, her eyes wide. Was there something off in my
expression? Was she frightened again? She didn't speak.

"Or, I could start, if you wish," I said quietly.

"No," she said, and her face went from white to red again. "I'll go first."

I stared at the equipment on the table, the battered microscope, the box of slides, rather than watch the
blood swirl under her clear skin. I took another quick breath, through my teeth, and winced as the taste
made my throat ache.

"Prophase," she said after a quick examination. She started to remove the slide, though she'd barely
examined it.

"Do you mind if I look?" Instinctively-stupidly, as if I were one of her kind-I reached out to stop her hand
from removing the slide. For one second, the heat of her skin burned into mine. It was like an electric
pulse-surely much hotter than a mere ninety-eight point six degrees. The heat shot through my hand
and up my arm. She yanked her hand out from under mine.

"I'm sorry," I muttered through my clenched teeth. Needing somewhere to look, I grasped the
microscope and stared briefly into the eyepiece. She was right.

"Prophase," I agreed.

I was still too unsettled to look at her. Breathing as quietly as I could through my gritted teeth and trying
to ignore the fiery thirst, I concentrated on the simple assignment, writing the word on the appropriate
line on the lab sheet, and then switching out the first slide for the next.
What was she thinking now? What had that felt like to her, when I had touched her hand? My skin must
have been ice cold-repulsive. No wonder she was so quiet. I glanced at the slide.

"Anaphase," I said to myself as I wrote it on the second line.

"May I?" she asked.

I looked up at her, surprised to see that she was waiting expectantly, one hand half-stretched toward
the microscope. She didn't look afraid. Did she really think I'd gotten the answer wrong?

I couldn't help but smile at the hopeful look on her face as I slid the microscope toward her.
She stared into the eyepiece with an eagerness that quickly faded. The corners of her mouth turned
down.

"Slide three?" she asked, not looking up from the microscope, but holding out her hand. I dropped the
next slide into her hand, not letting my skin come anywhere close to hers this time. Sitting beside her
was like sitting next to a heat lamp. I could feel myself warming slightly to the higher temperature.
She did not look at the slide for long. "Interphase," she said nonchalantly-perhaps trying a little too hard
to sound that way-and pushed the microscope to me.

She did not touch the paper, but waited for me to write the answer. I checked-she was correct again.
We finished this way, speaking one word at a time and never meeting each other's eyes. We were the
only ones done-the others in the class were having a harder time with the lab. Mike Newton seemed to
be having trouble concentrating-he was trying to watch Bella and me.

Wish he'd stayed wherever he went, Mike thought, eyeing me sulfurously.

Hmm, interesting. I hadn't realized the boy harbored any ill will towards me. This was a new
development, about as recent as the girl's arrival it seemed. Even more interesting, I found-to my
surprise-that the feeling was mutual.

I looked down at the girl again, bemused by the wide range of havoc and upheaval that, despite her
ordinary, unthreatening appearance, she was wreaking on my life. It wasn't that I couldn't see what
Mike was going on about. She was actually rather pretty...in an unusual way. Better than being
beautiful, her face was interesting. Not quite symmetrical-her narrow chin out of balance with her wide
cheekbones; extreme in the coloring- the light and dark contrast of her skin and her hair; and then there
were the eyes, brimming over with silent secrets... Eyes that were suddenly boring into mine.

I stared back at her, trying to guess even one of those secrets.
"Did you get contacts?" she asked abruptly.
What a strange question. "No." I almost smiled at the idea of improving my eyesight.

"Oh," she mumbled. "I thought there was something different about your eyes."

I felt suddenly colder again as I realized that I was apparently not the only one attempting to ferret out
secrets today.

I shrugged, my shoulders stiff, and glared straight ahead to where the teacher was making his rounds.
Of course there was something different about my eyes since the last time she'd stared into them. To
prepare myself for today's ordeal, today's temptation, I'd spent the entire weekend hunting, satiating
my thirst as much as possible, overdoing it really. I'd glutted myself on the blood of animals, not that it
made much difference in the face of the outrageous flavor floating on the air around her. When I'd
glared at her last, my eyes had been black with thirst. Now, my body swimming with blood, my eyes
were a warmer gold. Light amber from my excessive attempt at thirst-quenching.

Another slip. If I'd seen what she'd meant with her question, I could have just told her yes.
I'd sat beside humans for two years now at this school, and she was the first to examine me closely
enough to note the change in my eye color. The others, while admiring the beauty of my family, tended
to look down quickly when we returned their stares. They shied away, blocking the details of our
appearances in an instinctive endeavor to keep themselves from understanding. Ignorance was bliss to
the human mind.

Why did it have to be this girl who would see too much?
Mr. Banner approached our table. I gratefully inhaled the gush of clean air he brought with him before it
could mix with her scent.

"So, Edward," he said, looking over our answers, "didn't you think Isabella should get a chance with the
microscope?"

"Bella," I corrected him reflexively. "Actually, she identified three of the five."

Mr. Banner's thoughts were skeptical as he turned to look at the girl. "Have you done this lab before?"

I watched, engrossed, as she smiled, looking slightly embarrassed.

"Not with onion root."

"Whitefish blastula?" Mr. Banner probed.

"Yeah."

This surprised him. Today's lab was something he'd pulled from a more advanced course. He nodded
thoughtfully at the girl. "Were you in an advanced placement program in Phoenix?"

"Yes."

She was advanced then, intelligent for a human. This did not surprise me.
"Well," Mr. Banner said, pursing his lips. "I guess it's good you two are lab partners." He turned and
walked away mumbling, "So the other kids can get a chance to learn something for themselves," under
his breath. I doubted the girl could hear that.

She began scrawling loops across her folder again.
Two slips so far in one half hour. A very poor showing on my part. Though I had no idea at all what the
girl thought of me- how much did she fear, how much did she suspect? -I knew I needed to put forth a
better effort to leave her with a new impression of me. Something to better drown her memories of our
ferocious last encounter.

"It's too bad about the snow, isn't it?" I said, repeating the small talk that I'd heard a dozen students
discuss already. A boring, standard topic of conversation. The weather -always safe.
She stared at me with obvious doubt in her eyes -an abnormal reaction to my very normal words. "Not
really," she said, surprising me again.

I tried to steer the conversation back to trite paths. She was from a much brighter, warmer place -her
skin seemed to reflect that somehow, despite its fairness -and the cold must make her uncomfortable.

My icy touch certainly had...

"You don't like the cold," I guessed.

"Or the wet," she agreed.

"Forks must be a difficult place for you to live." Perhaps you should not have come here, I wanted to
add. Perhaps you should go back where you belong. I wasn't sure I wanted that, though. I would always
remember the scent of her blood -was there any guarantee that I wouldn't eventually follow after her?

Besides, if she left, her mind would forever remain a mystery. A constant, nagging puzzle.

"You have no idea," she said in a low voice, glowering past me for a moment. Her answers were never
what I expected. They made me want to ask more questions.

"Why did you come here, then?" I demanded, realizing instantly that my tone was too accusatory, not
casual enough for the conversation. The question sounded rude, prying.
"It's...complicated."

She blinked her wide eyes, leaving it at that, and I nearly imploded out of curiosity-the curiosity burned
as hot as the thirst in my throat. Actually, I found that it was getting slightly easier to breathe; the agony
was becoming more bearable through familiarity.

"I think I can keep up," I insisted. Perhaps common courtesy would keep her answering my questions as
long as I was rude enough to ask them.

She stared down silently at her hands. This made me impatient; I wanted to put my hand under her chin
and tilt her head up so that I could read her eyes. But it would be foolish of me -dangerous- to touch her
skin again.

She looked up suddenly. It was a relief to be able to see the emotions in her eyes again. She spoke in a
rush, hurrying through the words.

"My mother got remarried."

Ah, this was human enough, easy to understand. Sadness passed through her clear eyes and brought the
pucker back between them.

"That doesn't sound so complex," I said. My voice was gentle without my working to make it that way.

Her sadness left me feeling oddly helpless, wishing there was something I could do to make her feel
better. A strange impulse. "When did that happen?"

"Last September." She exhaled heavily-not quite a sigh. I held my breath as her warm breath brushed
my face.

"And you don't like him," I guessed, fishing for more information.

"No, Phil is fine," she said, correcting my assumption. There was a hint of a smile now around the
corners of her full lips. "Too young, maybe, but nice enough."
This didn't fit with the scenario I'd been constructing in my head.

"Why didn't you stay with them?" I asked, my voice a little too curious. It sounded like I was being nosy.
Which I was, admittedly.

"Phil travels a lot. He plays ball for a living." The little smile grew more pronounced; this career choice
amused her.

I smiled, too, without choosing to. I wasn't trying to make her feel at ease. Her smile just made me want
to smile in response -to be in on the secret.

"Have I heard of him?" I ran through the rosters of professional ball players in my head, wondering
which Phil was hers...

"Probably not. He doesn't play well." Another smile. "Strictly minor league. He moves around a lot."

The rosters in my head shifted instantly, and I'd tabulated a list of possibilities in less than a second. At
the same time, I was imagining the new scenario. "And your mother sent you here so that she could
travel with him," I said.

Making assumptions seemed to get more information out of her than questions did. It worked again.

Her chin jutted out, and her expression was suddenly stubborn.

"No, she did not send me here," she said, and her voice had a new, hard edge to it. My assumption had
upset her, though I couldn't quite see how. "I sent myself."

I could not guess at her meaning, or the source behind her pique. I was entirely lost.
So I gave up. There was just no making sense of the girl. She wasn't like other humans. Maybe the
silence of her thoughts and the perfume of her scent were not the only unusual things about her.

"I don't understand," I admitted, hating to concede.
She sighed, and stared into my eyes for longer than most normal humans were able to stand.

"She stayed with me at first, but she missed him," she explained slowly, her tone growing more forlorn
with each word. "It made her unhappy...so I decided it was time to spend some quality time with
Charlie."

The tiny pucker between her eyes deepened.

"But now you're unhappy," I murmured. I couldn't seem to stop speaking my hypotheses aloud, hoping
to learn from her reactions. This one, however, did not seem as far off the mark.

"And?" she said, as if this was not even an aspect to be considered.
I continued to stare into her eyes, feeling that I'd finally gotten my first real glimpse into her soul. I saw
in that one word where she ranked herself among her own priorities. Unlike most humans, her own
needs were far down the list. She was selfless.

As I saw this, the mystery of the person hiding inside this quiet mind began to thin a little.

"That doesn't seem fair," I said. I shrugged, trying to seem casual, trying to conceal the intensity of my
curiosity.

She laughed, but there was no amusement the sound. "Hasn't anyone ever told you? Life isn't fair."

I wanted to laugh at her words, though I, too, felt no real amusement. I knew a little something about
the unfairness of life. "I believe I have heard that somewhere before."

She stared back at me, seeming confused again. Her eyes flickered away, and then came back to mine.

"So that's all," she told me.

But I was not ready to let this conversation end. The little V between her eyes, a remnant of her sorrow,
bothered me. I wanted to smooth it away with my fingertip. But, of course, I could not touch her. It was
unsafe in so many ways.

"You put on a good show." I spoke slowly, still considering this next hypothesis. "But I'd be willing to bet
that you're suffering more than you let anyone see."
She made a face, her eyes narrowing and her mouth twisting into a lopsided pout, and she looked back
towards the front of the class. She didn't like it when I guessed right. She wasn't the average martyr-she
didn't want an audience to her pain.

"Am I wrong?"

She flinched slightly, but otherwise pretended not to hear me.

That made me smile. "I didn't think so."

"Why does it matter to you?" she demanded, still staring away.

"That's a very good question," I admitted, more to myself than to answer her.

Her discernment was better than mine -she saw right to the core of things while I floundered around the
edges, sifting blindly through clues. The details of her very human life should not matter to me. It was
wrong for me to care what she thought. Beyond protecting my family from suspicion, human thoughts
were not significant.

I was not used to being the less intuitive of any pairing. I relied on my extra hearing too much-I clearly
was not as perceptive as I gave myself credit for.

The girl sighed and glowered toward the front of the classroom. Something about her frustrated
expression was humorous. The whole situation, the whole conversation was humorous. No one had ever
been in more danger from me than this little girl -at any moment I might, distracted by my ridiculous
absorption in the conversation, inhale through my nose and attack her before I could stop myself -and

she was irritated because I hadn't answered her question.

"Am I annoying you?" I asked, smiling at the absurdity of it all.

She glanced at me quickly, and then her eyes seemed to get trapped by my gaze. "Not exactly," she told
me. "I'm more annoyed at myself. My face is so easy to read-my mother always calls me her open
book." She frowned, disgruntled.

I stared at her in amazement. The reason she was upset was because she thought I saw through her too
easily. How bizarre. I'd never expended so much effort to understand someone in all my life -or rather
existence, as life was hardly the right word. I did not truly have a life.

"On the contrary," I disagreed, feeling strangely...wary, as if there were some hidden danger here that I
was failing to see. I was suddenly on edge, the premonition making me anxious. "I find you very difficult
to read."

"You must be a good reader then," she guessed, making her own assumption that was, again, right on
target.

"Usually," I agreed. I smiled at her widely then, letting my lips pull back to expose the rows of gleaming,
razor sharp teeth behind them.

It was a stupid thing to do, but I was abruptly, unexpectedly desperate to get some kind of warning
through to the girl. Her body was closer to me than before, having shifted unconsciously in the course of
our conversation. All the little markers and signs that were sufficient to scare off the rest of humanity
did not seem to be working on her.

Why did she not cringe away from me in terror? Surely she had seen enough of my darker side to realize
the danger, intuitive as she seemed to be.

I didn't get to see if my warning had the intended effect. Mr. Banner called for the class's attention just
then, and she turned away from me at once. She seemed a little relieved for the interruption, so maybe
she understood unconsciously. I hoped she did.

I recognized the fascination growing inside me, even as I tried to root it out. I could not afford to find
Bella Swan interesting. Or rather, she could not afford that.

Already, I was anxious for another chance to talk to her. I wanted to know more about her mother, her
life before she came here, her relationship with her father. All the meaningless details that would flesh
out her character further. But every second I spent with her was a mistake, a risk she shouldn't have to
take.

Absentmindedly, she tossed her thick hair just at the moment that I allowed myself another breath. A
particularly concentrated wave of her scent hit the back of my throat.

It was like the first day-like the wrecking ball. The pain of the burning dryness made me dizzy. I had to
grasp the table again to keep myself in my seat. This time I had slightly more control. I didn't break
anything, at least. The monster growled inside me, but took no pleasure in my pain. He was too tightly
bound. For the moment, I stopped breathing altogether, and leaned as far from the girl as I could.

No, I could not afford to find her fascinating. The more interesting I found her, the more likely it was
that I would kill her. I'd already made two minor slips today. Would I make a third, one that was not
minor?

As soon as the bell sounded, I fled from the classroom -probably destroying whatever impression of
politeness I'd halfway constructed in the course of the hour.
Again, I gasped at the clean, wet air outside like it was a healing attar. I hurried to put as much distance
between myself and the girl as was possible.

Emmett waited for me outside the door of our Spanish class. He read my wild expression for a moment.

How did it go? He wondered warily.

"Nobody died," I mumbled.

I guess that's something. When I saw Alice ditching there at the end, I thought...
As we walked into the classroom, I saw his memory from just a few moments ago, seen through the
open door of his last class: Alice walking briskly and blank-faced across the grounds toward the science
building. I felt his remembered urge to get up and join her, and then his decision to stay. If Alice needed
his help, she would ask...

I closed my eyes in horror and disgust as I slumped into my seat. "I hadn't realized that it was that close.

I didn't think I was going to...I didn't see that it was that bad," I whispered.

It wasn't, he reassured me. Nobody died, right?

"Right," I said through my teeth. "Not this time."

Maybe it will get easier.

"Sure."

Or, maybe you kill her. He shrugged. You wouldn't be the first one to mess up. No one would judge you
too harshly. Sometimes a person just smells too good. I'm impressed you've lasted this long.

"Not helping, Emmett."

I was revolted by his acceptance of the idea that I would kill the girl, that this was somehow inevitable.
Was it her fault that she smelled so good?

I know when it happened to me..., he reminisced, taking me back with him half a century, to a country
lane at dusk, where a middle-aged women was taking her dried sheets down from a line strung between
apple trees. The scent of apples hung heavy in the air -the harvest was over and the rejected fruits were
scattered on the ground, the bruises in their skin leaking their fragrance out in thick clouds. A freshmowed
field of hay was a background to that scent, a harmony. He walked up the lane, all but oblivious
to the woman, on an errand for Rosalie. The sky was purple overhead, orange over the western trees.

He would have continued up the meandering cart path and there would have been no reason to
remember the evening, except that a sudden night breeze blew the white sheets out like sails and
fanned the woman's scent across Emmett's face.

"Ah," I groaned quietly. As if my own remembered thirst was not enough.

I know. I didn't last half a second. I didn't even think about resisting.

His memory became far too explicit for me to stand. I jumped to my feet, my teeth locked hard enough
cut through steel.

"Esta bien, Edward?" Senora Goff asked, startled by my sudden movement. I could see my face in her
mind, and I knew that I looked far from well.

"Me perdona," I muttered, as I darted for the door.

"Emmett-por favor, puedas tu ayuda a tu hermano?" she asked, gesturing helplessly toward me as I
rushed out of the room.

"Sure," I heard him say. And then he was right behind me.

He followed me to the far side of the building, where he caught up to me and put his hand on my
shoulder.

I shoved his hand away with unnecessary force. It would have shattered the bones in a human hand, and
the bones in the arm attached to it.

"Sorry, Edward."

"I know." I drew in deep gasps of air, trying to clear my head and my lungs.

"Is it as bad as that?" he asked, trying not to think of the scent and the flavor of his memory as he asked,
and not quite succeeding.

"Worse, Emmett, worse."

He was quiet for a moment.

Maybe...

"No, it would not be better if I got it over with. Go back to class, Emmett. I want to be alone."
He turned without another word or thought and walked quickly away. He would tell the Spanish teacher
that I was sick, or ditching, or a dangerously out of control vampire. Did his excuse really matter? Maybe

I wasn't coming back. Maybe I had to leave.

I went to my car again, to wait for school to end. To hide. Again.

I should have spent the time making decisions or trying to bolster my resolve, but, like an addict, I found
myself searching through the babble of thoughts emanating from the school buildings. The familiar
voices stood out, but I wasn't interested in listening to Alice's visions or Rosalie's complaints right now. I
found Jessica easily, but the girl was not with her, so I continued searching.
Mike Newton's thoughts caught my attention, and I located her at last, in gym with him. He was
unhappy, because I'd spoken to her today in biology. He was running over her response when he'd
brought the subject up...

...I've never seen him actually talk to anyone for more than a word here or there. Of course he would
decide to find Bella interesting. I don't like the way he looks at her.
But she didn't seem too excited about him. What did she say? 'Wonder what was with him last Monday.'
Something like that. Didn't sound like she cared. It couldn't have been much of a conversation...

He talked himself out of his pessimism in that way, cheered by the idea that Bella had not been
interested in her exchange with me. This annoyed me quite a bit more than was acceptable, so I stopped
listening to him.

I put a CD of violent music into the stereo, and then turned it up until it drowned out other voices. I had
to concentrate on the music very hard to keep myself from drifting back to Mike Newton's thoughts, to
spy on the unsuspecting girl...

I cheated a few times, as the hour drew to a close. Not spying, I tried to convince myself. I was just
preparing. I wanted to know exactly when she would leave the gym, when she would be in the parking
lot. I didn't want her to take me by surprise.
As the students started to file out of the gym doors, I got out of my car, not sure why I did it. The rain
was light -I ignored it as it slowly saturated my hair.

Did I want her to see me here? Did I hope she would come to speak to me? What was I doing?
I didn't move, though I tried to convince myself to get back in the car, knowing my behavior was
reprehensible. I kept my arms folded across my chest and breathed very shallowly as I watched her walk
slowly toward me, her mouth turning down at the corners. She didn't look at me. A few times she

glanced up at the clouds with a grimace, as if they offended her.

I was disappointed when she reached her car before she had to pass me. Would she have spoken to me?
Would I have spoken to her?

She got into a faded red Chevy truck, a rusted behemoth that was older than her father. I watched her
start the truck-the old engine roared louder than any other vehicle in the lot-and then hold her hands
out toward the heating vents. The cold was uncomfortable to her-she didn't like it. She combed her
fingers through her thick hair, pulling locks through the stream of hot air like she was trying to dry them.

I imagined what the cab of that truck would smell like, and then quickly drove out the thought.
She glanced around as she prepared to back out, and finally looked in my direction. She stared back at
me for only half a second, and all I could read in her eyes was surprise before she tore her eyes away
and jerked the truck into reverse. And then squealed to a stop again, the back end of the truck missing a
collision with Erin Teague's compact by mere inches.

She stared into her rearview mirror, her mouth hanging open with chagrin. When the other car had
pulled past her, she checked all her blind spots twice and then inched out the parking space so
cautiously that it made me grin. It was like she thought she was dangerous in her decrepit truck.
The thought of Bella Swan being dangerous to anyone, no matter what she was driving, had me laughing
while the girl drove past me, staring straight ahead.

Continue Reading Twilight - Midnight Sun:
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Read Twilight Saga Online

Twilight - Midnight Sun - Chapter 3. Phenomenon

2010-07-18T01:31:00.000-07:00

Truly, I was not thirsty, but I decided to hunt again that night. A small ounce of prevention, inadequate
though I knew it to be.

Carlisle came with me; we hadn't been alone together since I'd returned from Denali. As we ran through
the black forest, I heard him thinking about that hasty goodbye last week.

In his memory, I saw the way my features had been twisted in fierce despair. I felt his surprise and
sudden worry.

"Edward?"

"I have to go, Carlisle. I have to go now."

"What's happened?"

"Nothing. Yet. But it will, if I stay."

He'd reached for my arm. I felt how it had hurt him when I'd cringed away from his hand. "I don't
understand."

"Have you ever...has there ever been a time..." I watched myself take a deep breath, saw the wild light
in my eyes through the filter of his deep concern. "Has any one person ever smelled better to you than
the rest of them? Much better?"

"Oh."

When I'd known that he understood, my face had fallen with shame. He'd reached out to touch me,
ignoring it when I'd recoiled again, and left his hand on my shoulder.

"Do what you must to resist, son. I will miss you. Here, take my car. It's faster." He was wondering now if
he'd done the right thing then, sending me away. Wondering if he hadn't hurt me with his lack of trust.

"No," I whispered as I ran. "That was what I needed. I might so easily have betrayed that trust, if you'd
told me to stay."

"I'm sorry you're suffering, Edward. But you should do what you can to keep the Swan child alive. Even if
it means that you must leave us again."

"I know, I know."

"Why did you come back? You know how happy I am to have you here, but if this is too difficult..."

"I didn't like feeling a coward," I admitted. We'd slowed -we were barely jogging through the darkness
now.

"Better that than to put her in danger. She'll be gone in a year or two."
"You're right, I know that." Contrarily, though, his words only made me more anxious to stay. The girl
would be gone in a year or two... Carlisle stopped running and I stopped with him; he turned to examine
my expression.

But you're not going to run, are you?

I hung my head.

Is it pride, Edward? There's no shame in-

"No, it isn't pride that keeps me here. Not now."

Nowhere to go?

I laughed shortly. "No. That wouldn't stop me, if I could make myself leave."

"We'll come with you, of course, if that's what you need. You only have to ask. You've moved on without
complaint for the rest of them. They won't begrudge you this."

I raised one eyebrow.

He laughed. "Yes, Rosalie might, but she owes you. Anyway, it's much better for us to leave now, no
damage done, than for us to leave later, after a life has been ended." All humor was gone by the end.

I flinched at his words.

"Yes," I agreed. My voice sounded hoarse.

But you're not leaving?

I sighed. "I should."

"What holds you here, Edward? I'm failing to see..."

"I don't know if I can explain." Even to myself, it made no sense.

He measured my expression for a long moment.

No, I do not see. But I will respect your privacy, if you prefer.

"Thank you. It's generous of you, seeing as how I give privacy to no one." With one exception. And I was
doing what I could to deprive her of that, wasn't I?
We all have our quirks. He laughed again. Shall we?

He'd just caught the scent of a small herd of deer. It was hard to rally much enthusiasm for what was,
even under the best of circumstances, a less than mouthwatering aroma. Right now, with the memory
of the girl's blood fresh in my mind, the smell actually turned my stomach.

I sighed. "Let's," I agreed, though I knew that forcing more blood down my throat would help so little.
We both shifted into a hunting crouch and let the unappealing scent pull us silently forward.
It was colder when we returned home. The melted snow had refrozen; it was as if a thin sheet of glass
covered everything-each pine needle, each fern frond, each blade of grass was iced over.
While Carlisle went to dress for his early shift at the hospital, I stayed by the river, waiting for the sun to
rise. I felt almost swollen from the amount of blood I'd consumed, but I knew the lack of actual thirst
would mean little when I sat beside the girl again.

Cool and motionless as the stone I sat on, I stared at the dark water running beside the icy bank, stared
right through it.

Carlisle was right. I should leave Forks. They could spread some story to explain my absence. Boarding
school in Europe. Visiting distant relatives. Teenage runaway. The story didn't matter. No one would
question too intensely.

It was just a year or two, and then the girl would disappear. She would go on with her life -she would
have a life to go on with. She'd go to college somewhere, get older, start a career, perhaps marry
someone. I could picture that -I could see the girl dressed all in white and walking at a measured pace,
her arm through her father's.

It was odd, the pain that image caused me. I couldn't understand it. Was I jealous, because she had a
future that I could never have? That made no sense. Every one of the humans around me had that same
potential ahead of them -a life- and I rarely stopped to envy them.

I should leave her to her future. Stop risking her life. That was the right thing to do. Carlisle always chose
the right way. I should listen to him now.
The sun rose behind the clouds, and the faint light glistened off all the frozen glass. One more day, I
decided. I would see her one more time. I could handle that. Perhaps I would mention my pending
disappearance, set the story up.

This was going to be difficult; I could feel that in the heavy reluctance that was already making me think
of excuses to stay-to extend the deadline to two days, three, four... But I would do the right thing. I
knew I could trust Carlisle's advice. And I also knew that I was too conflicted to make the right decision
alone. Much too conflicted. How much of this reluctance came from my obsessive curiosity, and how
much came from my unsatisfied appetite?

I went inside to change into fresh clothes for school. Alice was waiting for me, sitting on the top step at
the edge of the third floor.

You're leaving again, she accused me.
I sighed and nodded.

I can't see where you're going this time.

"I don't know where I'm going yet," I whispered.

I want you to stay.

I shook my head.

Maybe Jazz and I could come with you?

"They'll need you all the more, if I'm not here to watch out for them. And think of Esme. Would you take
half her family away in one blow?"

You're going to make her so sad.

"I know. That's why you have to stay."

That's not the same as having you here, and you know it.

"Yes. But I have to do what's right."

There are many right ways, and many wrong ways, though, aren't there?

For a brief moment she was swept away into one of her strange visions; I watched along with her as the
indistinct images flickered and whirled. I saw myself mixed in with strange shadows that I couldn't make
out-hazy, imprecise forms. And then, suddenly, my skin was glittering in the bright sunlight of a small
open meadow. This was a place I knew. There was a figure in the meadow with me, but, again, it was
indistinct, not there enough to recognize. The images shivered and disappeared as a million tiny choices
rearranged the future again.

"I didn't catch much of that," I told her when the vision went dark.

Me either. Your future is shifting around so much I can't keep up with any of it. I think , though... --She
stopped, and she flipped through a vast collection of other recent visions for me. They were all the
same-blurry and vague.

"I think something is changing, though," she said out loud. "Your life seems to be at a crossroads."

I laughed grimly. "You do realize that you sound like a bogus gypsy at a carnival now, right?"

She stuck her tiny tongue out at me.

"Today is all right, though, isn't it?" I asked, my voice abruptly apprehensive.

"I don't see you killing anyone today," she assured me.

"Thanks, Alice."

"Go get dressed. I won't say anything -I'll let you tell the others when you're ready."

She stood and darted back down the stairs, her shoulders hunched slightly. Miss you. Really.

Yes, I would really miss her, too.

It was a quiet ride to school. Jasper could tell that Alice was upset about something, but he knew that if
she wanted to talk about it she would have done so already. Emmett and Rosalie were oblivious, having
another of their moments, gazing into each others' eyes with wonder-it was rather disgusting to watch
from the outside.

We were all quite aware how desperately in love they were. Or maybe I was just being bitter because I
was the only one alone. Some days it was harder than others to live with three sets of perfectly matched
lovers. This was one of them.
Maybe they would all be happier without me hanging around, ill-tempered and belligerent as the old
man I should be by now.

Of course, the first thing I did when we reached the school was to look for the girl. Just preparing myself
again. Right.

It was embarrassing how my world suddenly seemed to be empty of everything but her-my whole
existence centered around the girl, rather than around myself anymore.
It was easy enough to understand, though, really; after eighty years of the same thing every day and
every night, any change became a point of absorption.

She had not yet arrived, but could I hear the thunderous chugging of her truck's engine in the distance. I
leaned against the side of the car to wait. Alice stayed with me, while the others went straight to class.
They were bored with my fixation-it was incomprehensible to them how any human could hold my
interest for so long, no matter how delicious she smelled.

The girl drove slowly into view, her eyes intent on the road and her hands tight on the wheel. She
seemed anxious about something. It took me a second to figure out what that something was, to realize
that every human wore the same expression today. Ah, the road was slick with ice, and they were all
trying to drive more carefully. I could see she was taking the added risk seriously.
That seemed in line with what little I had learned of her character. I added this to my small list: she was
a serious person, a responsible person.

She parked not too far from me, but she hadn't noticed me standing here yet, staring at her. I wondered
what she would do when she did? Blush and walk away?

That was my first guess. But maybe she would stare back. Maybe she would come to talk to me.
I took a deep breath, filling my lungs hopefully, just in case.
She got out of the truck with care, testing the slick ground before she put her weight on it. She didn't
look up, and that frustrated me. Maybe I would go talk to her...

No, that would be wrong.

Instead of turning toward the school, she made her way to the rear of her truck, clinging to the side of
the truck bed in a droll way, not trusting her footing. It made me smile, and I felt Alice's eyes on my face.

I didn't listen to whatever this made her think -I was having too much fun watching the girl check her
snow chains. She actually looked in some danger of falling, the way her feet were sliding around. No one
else was having trouble -had she parked in the worst of the ice?

She paused there, staring down with a strange expression on her face. It was...tender? As if something
about the tire was making her... emotional?

Again, the curiosity ached like a thirst. It was as if I had to know what she was thinking -as if nothing else
mattered.

I would go talk to her. She looked like she could use a hand anyway, at least until she was off the slick
pavement. Of course, I couldn't offer her that, could I? I hesitated, torn. As adverse as she seemed to be
to snow, she would hardly welcome the touch of my cold white hand. I should have worn gloves-

"NO!" Alice gasped aloud.

Instantly, I scanned her thoughts, guessing at first that I had made a poor choice and she saw me doing
something inexcusable. But it had nothing to do with me at all.

Tyler Crowley had chosen to take the turn into the parking lot at an injudicious speed. This choice would
send him skidding across a patch of ice...

The vision came just half a second before the reality. Tyler's van rounded the corner as I was still
watching the conclusion that had pulled the horrified gasp through Alice's lips.

No, this vision had nothing to do with me, and yet it had everything to do with me, because Tyler's vanthe
tires right now hitting the ice at the worst possible angle-was going to spin across the lot and crush
the girl who had become the uninvited focal point of my world.

Even without Alice's foresight it would have been simple enough to read the trajectory of the vehicle,
flying out of Tyler's control.

The girl, standing in the exactly wrong place at the back of her truck, looked up, bewildered by the
sound of the screeching tires. She looked straight into my horror- struck eyes, and then turned to watch
her approaching death.

Not her! The words shouted in my head as if they belonged to someone else.
Still locked into Alice's thoughts, I saw the vision suddenly shift, but I had no time to see what the
outcome would be.

I launched myself across the lot, throwing myself between the skidding van and the frozen girl. I moved
so fast that everything was a streaky blur except for the object of my focus. She didn't see me -no
human eyes could have followed my flight-still staring at the hulking shape that was about to grind her
body into the metal frame of her truck.

I caught her around the waist, moving with too much urgency to be as gentle as she would need me to
be. In the hundredth of a second between the time that I yanked her slight form out of the path of death
and the time that I crashed into to the ground with her in my arms, I was vividly aware of her fragile,
breakable body.

When I heard her head crack against the ice, it felt like I had turned to ice, too.

But I didn't even have a full second to ascertain her condition. I heard the van behind us, grating and
squealing as it twisted around the sturdy iron body of the girl's truck. It was changing course, arcing,

coming for her again -like she was a magnet, pulling it toward us.

A word I'd never said before in the presence of a lady slid between my clenched teeth.

I had already done too much. As I'd nearly flown through the air to push her out of the way, I'd been
fully aware of the mistake I was making. Knowing that it was a mistake did not stop me, but I was not
oblivious to the risk I was taking -taking, not just for myself, but for my entire family.

Exposure.

And this certainly wasn't going to help, but there was no way I was going to allow the van to succeed in
its second attempt to take her life.

I dropped her and threw my hands out, catching the van before it could touch the girl. The force of it
hurled me back into the car parked beside her truck, and I could feel its frame buckle behind my
shoulders. The van shuddered and shivered against the unyielding obstacle of my arms, and then
swayed, balancing unstably on the two far tires. If I moved my hands, the back tire of the van was going
fall onto her legs.

Oh, for the love of all that was holy, would the catastrophes never end? Was there anything else that
could go wrong? I could hardly sit here, holding the van in the air, and wait for rescue. Nor could I throw
the van away-there was the driver to consider, his thoughts incoherent with panic.

With an internal groan, I shoved the van so that it rocked away from us for an instant. As it fell back
toward me, I caught it under the frame with my right hand while I wrapped my left arm around the girl's
waist again and drug her out from under the van, pulling her tight up against my side. Her body moved
limply as I swung her around so that her legs would be in the clear -was she conscious? How much
damage had I done to her in my impromptu rescue attempt?

I let the van drop, now that it could not hurt her. It crashed to the pavement, all the windows shattering
in unison.

I knew that I was in the middle of a crisis. How much had she seen? Had any other witnesses watched
me materialize at her side and then juggle the van while I tried to keep her out from under it? These
questions should be my biggest concern. But I was too anxious to really care about the threat of
exposure as much as I should. Too panic-stricken that I might have injured her myself in my effort to
protect her. Too frightened to have her this close to me, knowing what I would smell if I allowed myself
to inhale. Too aware of the heat of her soft body, pressed against mine-even through the double
obstacle of our jackets, I could feel that heat...

The first fear was the greatest fear. As the screaming of the witnesses erupted around us, I leaned down
to examine her face, to see if she was conscious -hoping fiercely that she was not bleeding anywhere.

Her eyes were open, staring in shock.

"Bella?" I asked urgently. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine." She said the words automatically in a dazed voice.

Relief, so exquisite it was nearly pain, washed through me at the sound of her voice. I sucked in a breath
through my teeth, and did not mind the accompanying burn in my throat. I almost welcomed it.

She struggled to sit up, but I was not ready to release her. It felt somehow...safer? Better, at least,
having her tucked into my side.

"Be careful," I warned her. "I think you hit your head pretty hard."

There had been no smell of fresh blood -a mercy, that- but this did not rule out internal damage. I was
abruptly anxious to get her to Carlisle and a full compliment of radiology equipment.

"Ow," she said, her tone comically shocked as she realized I was right about her head.

"That's what I thought." Relief made it funny to me, made me almost giddy.

"How in the..." Her voice trailed off, and her eyelids fluttered. "How did you get over here so fast?"

The relief turned sour, the humor vanished. She had noticed too much. Now that it appeared that the
girl was in decent shape, the anxiety for my family became severe.

"I was standing right next to you, Bella." I knew from experience that if I was very confident as I lied, it
made any questioner less sure of the truth.
She struggled to move again, and this time I allowed it. I needed to breathe so that I could play my role
correctly. I needed space from her warm-blooded heat so that it would not combine with her scent to
overwhelm me. I slid away from her, as far as was possible in the small space between the wrecked
vehicles.

She stared up at me, and I stared back. To look away first was a mistake only an incompetent liar would
make, and I was not an incompetent liar. My expression was smooth, benign... It seemed to confuse her.

That was good.
The accident scene was surrounded now. Mostly students, children, peering and pushing through the
cracks to see if any mangled bodies were visible. There was a babble of shouting and a gush of shocked
thought. I scanned the thoughts once to make sure there were no suspicions yet, and then tuned it out
and concentrated only on the girl.
She was distracted by the bedlam. She glanced around, her expression still stunned, and tried to get to
her feet.

I put my hand lightly on her shoulder to hold her down. "Just stay put for now." She seemed alright, but
should she really be moving her neck? Again, I wished for Carlisle. My years of theoretical medical study
were no match for his centuries of hands-on medical practice.

"But it's cold," she objected.

She had almost been crushed to death two distinct times and crippled one more, and it was the cold
that worried her. A chuckle slid through my teeth before I could remember that the situation was not
funny.

Bella blinked, and then her eyes focused on my face. "You were over there."

That sobered me again.

She glanced toward the south, though there was nothing to see now but the crumpled side of the van.

"You were by your car."

"No, I wasn't."

"I saw you," she insisted; her voice was childlike when she was being stubborn. Her chin jutted out.

"Bella, I was standing with you, and I pulled you out of the way."

I stared deeply into her wide eyes, trying to will her into accepting my version -the only rational version
on the table.

Her jaw set. "No."
I tried to stay calm, to not panic. If only I could keep her quiet for a few moments, to give me a chance
to destroy the evidence....and undermine her story by disclosing her head injury.
Shouldn't it be easy to keep this silent, secretive girl quiet? If only she would trust me, just for a few
moments...

"Please, Bella," I said, and my voice was too intense, because I suddenly wanted her to trust me. Wanted
it badly, and not just in regards to this accident. A stupid desire. What sense would it make for her to
trust me?

"Why?" she asked, still defensive.

"Trust me," I pleaded.

"Will you promise to explain everything to me later?"
It made me angry to have to lie to her again, when I so much wished that I could somehow deserve her
trust. So, when I answered her, it was a retort.

"Fine."

"Fine," she echoed in the same tone.
While the rescue attempt began around us -adults arriving, authorities called, sirens in the distance- I
tried to ignore the girl and get my priorities in the right order. I searched through every mind in the lot,
the witnesses and the latecomers both, but I could find nothing dangerous. Many were surprised to see
me here beside Bella, but all concluded -as there was no other possible conclusion- that they had just
not noticed me standing by the girl before the accident.

She was the only one who didn't accept the easy explanation, but she would be considered the least
reliable witness. She had been frightened, traumatized, not to mention sustaining the blow to the head.
Possibly in shock. It would be acceptable for her story to be confused, wouldn't it? No one would give it
much credence above so many other spectators...

I winced when I caught the thoughts of Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett, just arriving on the scene. There
would be hell to pay for this tonight.

I wanted to iron out the indention my shoulders had made against the tan car, but the girl was too close.
I'd have to wait till she was distracted.

It was frustrating to wait-so many eyes on me-as the humans struggled with the van, trying to pull it
away from us. I might have helped them, just to speed the process, but I was already in enough trouble
and the girl had sharp eyes. Finally, they were able to shift it far enough away for the EMTs to get to us
with their stretchers.

A familiar, grizzled face appraised me.

"Hey, Edward," Brett Warner said. He was also a registered nurse, and I knew him well from the
hospital. It was a stroke of luck-the only luck today-that he was the first through to us. In his thoughts,
he was noting that I looked alert and calm. "You okay, kid?"
"Perfect, Brett. Nothing touched me. But I'm afraid Bella here might have a concussion. She really hit her
head when I yanked her out of the way..."

Brett turned his attention to the girl, who shot me a fierce look of betrayal. Oh, that was right. She was
the quiet martyr -she'd prefer to suffer in silence.
She did not contradict my story immediately, though, and this made me feel easier. The next EMT tried
to insist that I allow myself to be treated, but it wasn't too difficult to dissuade him. I promised I would
let my father examine me, and he let it go.

With most humans, speaking with cool assurance was all that was needed. Most humans, just not the
girl, of course. Did she fit into any of the normal patterns? As they put a neck brace on her -and her face
flushed scarlet with embarrassment-I used the moment of distraction to quietly rearrange the shape of
the dent in the tan car with the back of my foot. Only my siblings noticed what I was doing, and I heard
Emmett's mental promise to catch anything I missed.

Grateful for his help -and more grateful that Emmett, at least, had already forgiven my dangerous
choice- I was more relaxed as I climbed into the front seat of the ambulance next to Brett.
The chief of police arrived before they had gotten Bella into the back of the ambulance.
Though Bella's father's thoughts were past words, the panic and concern emanating out of the man's
mind drown out just about every other thought in the vicinity.
Wordless anxiety and guilt, a great swell of them, washed out of him as he saw his only daughter on the
gurney.

Washed out of him and through me, echoing and growing stronger. When Alice had warned me that
killing Charlie Swan's daughter would kill him, too, she had not been exaggerating. My head bowed with
that guilt as I listened to his panicked voice.

"Bella!" he shouted.

"I'm completely fine, Char-Dad." She sighed. "There's nothing wrong with me."
Her assurance barely soothed his dread. He turned at once to the closest EMT and demanded more
information.
I wasn't until I heard him speaking, forming perfectly coherent sentences despite his panic, that I
realized that his anxiety and concern were not wordless. I just...could not hear the exact words.
Hmm. Charlie Swan was not as silent as his daughter, but I could see where she got it from. Interesting.

I'd never spent much time around the town's police chief. I'd always taken him for a man of slow
thought-now I realized that I was the one who was slow. His thoughts were partially concealed, not
absent. I could only make out the tenor, the tone of them...

I wanted to listen harder, to see if I could find in this new, lesser puzzle the key to the girl's secrets. But
Bella was loaded into the back by then, and the ambulance was on its way.

It was hard to tear myself away from this possible solution to the mystery that had come to obsess me.

But I had to think now-to look at what had been done today from every angle. I had to listen, to make
sure that I had not put us all in so much danger that we would have to leave immediately. I had to
concentrate.

There was nothing in the thoughts of the EMTs to worry me. As far as they could tell, there was nothing
seriously wrong with the girl. And Bella was sticking to the story I'd provided, thus far.

The first priority, when we reached the hospital, was to see Carlisle. I hurried through the automatic
doors, but I was unable to totally forgo watching after Bella; I kept an eye on her through the
paramedics' thoughts.

It was easy to find my father's familiar mind. He was in his small office, all alone -the second stroke of
luck in this luckless day.

"Carlisle."

He'd heard my approach, and he was alarmed as soon as he saw my face. He jumped to his feet, his face
paling to bone white. He leaned forward across the neatly organized walnut desk.

Edward-you didn't-

"No, no, it's not that."

He took deep breath. Of course not. I'm sorry I entertained the thought. Your eyes, of course, I should
have known... He noted my still -golden eyes with relief.

"She's hurt, though, Carlisle, probably not seriously, but-"

"What happened?"

"A stupid car accident. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. But I couldn't just stand there -let
it crush her-"

Start over, I don't understand. How were you involved?

"A van skidded across the ice," I whispered. I stared at the wall behind him while I spoke. Instead of a
throng of framed diplomas, he had one simple oil painting -a favorite of his, an undiscovered Hassam.

"She was in the way. Alice saw it coming, but there wasn't time to do anything but really run across the
lot and shove her out of the way. No one noticed...except for her. I had to stop the van, too, but again,
nobody saw that...besides her. I'm...I'm sorry Carlisle. I didn't mean to put us in danger."
He circled the desk and put his hand on my shoulder.

You did the right thing. And it couldn't have been easy for you. I'm proud of you, Edward.

I could look him in the eye then. "She knows there's something...wrong with me."

"That doesn't matter. If we have to leave, we leave. What has she said?"

I shook my head, a little frustrated. "Nothing yet."

Yet?

"She agreed to my version of events -but she's expecting an explanation."

He frowned, pondering this.

"She hit her head -well, I did that," I continued quickly. "I knocked her to the ground fairly hard. She
seems fine, but... I don't think it will take much to discredit her account."

I felt like a cad just saying the words. Carlisle heard the distaste in my voice. Perhaps that won't be
necessary. Let's see what happens, shall we? It sounds like I have a patient to check on.

"Please," I said. "I'm so worried that I hurt her."
Carlisle's expression brightened. He smoothed his fair hair -just a few shades lighter than his golden
eyes- and he laughed.

It's been an interesting day for you, hasn't it? In his mind, I could see the irony, and it was humorous, at
least to him. Quite the reversal of roles. Somewhere during that short thoughtless second when I'd
sprinted across the icy lot, I had transformed from killer to protector.

I laughed with him, remembering how sure I'd been that Bella would never need protecting from
anything more than myself. There was an edge to my laugh because, van notwithstanding, that was still
entirely true.

I waited alone in Carlisle's office-one of the longer hours I had ever lived-listening to the hospital full of
thoughts.

Tyler Crowley, the van's driver, looked to be hurt worse than Bella, and the attention shifted to him
while she waited her turn to be X-rayed. Carlisle kept in the background, trusting the PA's diagnosis that
the girl was only slightly injured. This made me anxious, but I knew he was right. One glance at his face
and she would be immediately reminded of me, of the fact that there was something not right about my family, and that
might set her talking.

She certainly had a willing enough partner to converse with. Tyler was consumed with guilt over the fact
that he had almost killed her, and he couldn't seem to shut up about it. I could see her expression
through his eyes, and it was clear that she wished he would stop. How did he not see that?
There was a tense moment for me when Tyler asked her how she'd gotten out of the way. I waited, not
breathing, as she hesitated.

"Um..." he heard her say. Then she paused for so long that Tyler wondered if his question had confused
her. Finally, she went on. "Edward pulled me out of the way."

I exhaled. And then my breathing accelerated. I'd never heard her speak my name before. I like the way
it sounded -even just hearing it through Tyler's thoughts. I wanted to hear it for myself...

"Edward Cullen," she said, when Tyler didn't realize who she meant. I found myself at the door, my hand
on the knob. The desire to see her was growing stronger. I had to remind myself of the need for caution.

"He was standing next to me."

"Cullen?" Huh. That's weird. "I didn't see him." I could have sworn... "Wow, it was all so fast, I guess. Is
he okay?"

"I think so. He's here somewhere, but they didn't make him use a stretcher." I saw the thoughtful look
on her face, the suspicious tightening of her eyes, but these little changes in her expression were lost on
Tyler.

She's pretty, he was thinking, almost in surprise. Even all messed up. Not my usual type, still... I should
take her out. Make up for today...

I was out in the hall, then, halfway to the emergency room, without thinking for one second about what
I was doing. Luckily, the nurse entered the room before I could-it was Bella's turn for X-rays. I leaned
against the wall in a dark nook just around the corner, and tried to get a grip on myself while she was
wheeled away.

It didn't matter that Tyler thought she was pretty. Anyone would notice that. There was no reason for
me to feel...how did I feel? Annoyed? Or was angry closer to the truth? That made no sense at all.

I stayed where I was for as long as I could, but impatience got the best of me and I took a back way
around to the radiology room. She'd already been moved back to the ER, but I was able to take a peek at
her x-rays while the nurse's back was turned.

I felt calmer when I had. Her head was fine. I hadn't hurt her, not really.

Carlisle caught me there.

You look better, he commented.

I just looked straight ahead. We weren't alone, the halls full of orderlies and visitors.

Ah, yes. He stuck her x-rays to the light board, but I didn't need a second look. I see. She's absolutely
fine. Well done, Edward.

The sound of my father's approval created a mixed reaction in me. I would have been pleased, except
that I knew that he would not approve of what I was going to do now. At least, he would not approve if
he knew my real motivations...

"I think I'm going to go talk to her -before she sees you," I murmured under my breath. "Act natural, like
nothing happened. Smooth it over." All acceptable reasons.

Carlisle nodded absently, still looking over the x-rays. "Good idea. Hmm."

I looked to see what had his interest.

Look at all the healed contusions! How many times did her mother drop her? Carlisle laughed to himself
at his joke.

"I'm beginning to think the girl just has really bad luck. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time."
Forks is certainly the wrong place for her, with you here.

I flinched.

Go ahead. Smooth things over. I'll join you momentarily.

I walked away quickly, feeling guilty. Perhaps I was too good a liar, if I could fool Carlisle.
When I got to the ER, Tyler was mumbling under his breath, still apologizing. The girl was trying to
escape his remorse by pretending to sleep. Her eyes were closed, but her breathing was not even, and
now and then her fingers would twitch impatiently.

I stared at her face for a long moment. This was the last time I would see her.
That fact triggered an acute aching in my chest. Was it because I hated to leave any puzzle unsolved?

That did not seem like enough of an explanation.

Finally, I took a deep breath and moved into view.

When Tyler saw me, he started to speak, but I put one finger to my lips.

"Is she sleeping?" I murmured.

Bella's eyes snapped open and focused on my face. They widened momentarily, and then narrowed in
anger or suspicion. I remembered that I had a role to play, so I smiled at her as if nothing unusual had
happened this morning-besides a blow to her head and a bit of imagination run wild.

"Hey, Edward," Tyler said. "I'm really sorry-"

I raised one hand to halt his apology. "No blood, no foul," I said wryly. Without thinking, I smiled too
widely at my private joke.

It was amazingly easy to ignore Tyler, lying no more than four feet from me, covered in fresh blood. I'd
never understood how Carlisle was able to do that -ignore the blood of his patients in order to treat
them. Wouldn't the constant temptation be so distracting, so dangerous...? But, now... I could see how,
if you were focusing on something else hard enough, the temptation was be nothing at all.

Even fresh and exposed, Tyler's blood had nothing on Bella's.

I kept my distance from her, seating myself on the foot of Tyler's mattress.

"So, what's the verdict?" I asked her.

Her lower lip pushed out a little. "There's nothing wrong with me at all, but they won't let me go. How
come you aren't strapped to a gurney like the rest of us?"

Her impatience made me smile again.

I could hear Carlisle in the hall now.

"It's all about who you know," I said lightly. "But don't worry, I came to spring you."

I watched her reaction carefully as my father entered the room. Her eyes widened and her mouth
actually fell open in surprise. I groaned internally. Yes, she'd certainly noticed the resemblance.

"So, Miss Swan, how are you feeling?" Carlisle asked. He had a wonderfully soothing beside manner that
put most patients at ease within moments. I couldn't tell how it affected Bella.

"I'm fine," she said quietly.

Carlisle clipped her X-rays to the light board by the bed. "Your X-rays look good.

Does your head hurt? Edward said you hit it pretty hard."

She sighed, and said, "I'm fine," again, but this time impatience leaked into her voice. Then she glowered
once in my direction.

Carlisle stepped closer to her and ran his fingers gently over her scalp until he found the bump under her
hair.

I was caught off guard by the wave of emotion that crashed over me.

I had seen Carlisle work with humans a thousand times. Years ago, I had even assisted him informallythough
only in situations where blood was not involved. So it wasn't a new thing to me, to watch him
interact with the girl as if he were as human as she was. I'd envied his control many times, but that was
not the same as this emotion. I envied him more than his control. I ached for the difference between
Carlisle and me -that he could touch her so gently, without fear, knowing he would never harm her...

She winced, and I twitched in my seat. I had to concentrate for a moment to keep my relaxed posture.

"Tender?" Carlisle asked.
Her chin jerked up a fraction. "Not really," she said.

Another small piece of her character fell into place: she was brave. She didn't like to show weakness.
Possibly the most vulnerable creature I'd ever seen, and she didn't want to seem weak. A chuckle slid
through my lips.

She shot another glare at me.

"Well," Carlisle said. "Your father is in the waiting room-you can go home with him now. But come back
if you feel dizzy or have trouble with your eyesight at all."

Her father was here? I swept through the thoughts in the crowded waiting room, but I couldn't pick his

subtle mental voice out of the group before she was speaking again, her face anxious.

"Can't I go back to school?"

"Maybe you should take it easy today," Carlisle suggested.

Her eyes flickered back to me. "Does he get to go to school?"

Act normal, smooth things over...ignore the way it feels when she looks me in the eye... "Someone has
to spread the good news that we survived," I said.

"Actually," Carlisle corrected, "most of the school seems to be in the waiting room."

I anticipated her reaction this time -her aversion to attention. She didn't disappoint.

"Oh no," she moaned, and she put her hands over her face. I liked that I'd finally guessed right. I was
beginning to understand her...

"Do you want to stay?" Carlisle asked.

"No, no!" she said quickly, swinging her legs over the side of the mattress and sliding down till her feet
were on the floor. She stumbled forward, off-balance, into Carlisle's arms. He caught and steadied her.

Again, the envy flooded through me.

"I'm fine," she said before he could comment, faint pink in her cheeks. Of course, that wouldn't bother

Carlisle. He made sure she was balanced, and then dropped his hands.

"Take some Tylenol for the pain," he instructed.

"It doesn't hurt that bad."

Carlisle smiled as he signed her chart. "It sounds like you were extremely lucky."

She turned her face slightly, to stare at me with hard eyes. "Lucky Edward happened to be standing next
to me."

"Oh, well, yes," Carlisle agreed quickly, hearing the same thing in her voice that I heard. She hadn't
written her suspicions off as imagination. Not yet.

All yours, Carlisle thought. Handle it as you think best.

"Thanks so much," I whispered, quick and quiet. Neither human heard me.

Carlisle's lips turned up a tiny bit at my sarcasm as he turned to Tyler. "I'm afraid that you'll have to stay
with us just a little bit longer," he said as he began examining the slashes left by the shattered
windshield.

Well, I'd made the mess, so it was only fair that I had to deal with it.

Bella walked deliberately toward me, not stopping until she was uncomfortably close. I remembered
how I had hoped, before all the mayhem, that she would approach me... This was like a mockery of that
wish.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" she hissed at me.

Her warm breath brushed my face and I had to stagger back a step. Her appeal had not abated one bit.

Every time she was near me, it triggered all my worst, most urgent instincts. Venom flowed in my mouth
and my body yearned to strike-to wrench her into my arms and crush her throat to my teeth.

My mind was stronger than my body, but only just.

"Your father is waiting for you," I reminded her, my jaw clenched tight.

She glanced toward Carlisle and Tyler. Tyler was paying us no attention at all, but Carlisle was
monitoring my every breath.

Carefully, Edward.

"I'd like to speak to you alone, if you don't mind," she insisted in a low voice.

I wanted to tell her that I did mind very much, but I knew I would have to do this eventually. I may as
well get on with it.

I was full of so many conflicting emotions as I stalked out of the room, listening to her stumbling
footsteps behind me, trying to keep up. I had a show to put on now. I knew the role I would play-I had
the character down: I would be the villain. I would lie and ridicule and be cruel.

It went against all my better impulses-the human impulses that I'd clung to through all these years. I'd
never wanted to deserve trust more than in this moment, when I had to destroy all possibility of it.

It made it worse to know that this would be the last memory she would have of me. This was my
farewell scene.

I turned on her. "What do you want?" I asked coldly.

She cringed back slightly from my hostility. Her eyes turned bewildered, the expression that had
haunted me...

"You owe me an explanation," she said in a small voice; her ivory face blanched.

It was very hard to keep my voice harsh. "I saved your life -I don't owe you anything." She flinched -it
burned like acid to watch my words hurt her.

"You promised," she whispered.

"Bella, you hit your head, you don't know what you're talking about."

Her chin came up then. "There's nothing wrong with my head."

She was angry now, and that made it easier for me. I met her glare, making my face more unfriendly.

"What do you want from me, Bella?"

"I want to know the truth. I want to know why I'm lying for you." What she wanted was only fair-it
frustrated me to have to deny her.

"What do you think happened?" I nearly growled at her.
Her words poured out in a torrent. "All I know is that you weren't anywhere near me -Tyler didn't see
you, either, so don't tell me I hit my head too hard. That van was going to crush us both-and it didn't,
and your hands left dents in the side of it-and you left a dent in the other car, and you're not hurt at alland
the van should have smashed my legs, but you were holding it up..." Suddenly, she clenched her
teeth together and her eyes were glistening with unshed tears.
I stared at her, my expression derisive, though what I really felt was awe; she had seen everything. "You

think I lifted a van off you?" I asked sarcastically.

She answered with one stiff nod.

My voice grew more mocking. "Nobody will believe that, you know."

She made an effort to control her anger. When she answered me, she spoke each word with slow
deliberation. "I'm not going to tell anybody."
She meant it-I could see that in her eyes. Even furious and betrayed, she would keep my secret.
Why?

The shock of it ruined my carefully designed expression for half a second, and then I pulled myself
together.

"Then why does it matter?" I asked, working to keep my voice severe.

"It matters to me," she said intensely. "I don't like to lie-so there'd better be a good reason why I'm
doing it."

She was asking me to trust her. Just as I wanted her to trust me. But this was a line I could not cross.

My voice stayed callous. "Can't you just thank me and get it over with?"

"Thank you," she said, and then she fumed silently, waiting.

"You're not going to let it go, are you?"

"No."

"In that case..." I couldn't tell her the truth if I wanted to...and I didn't want to. I'd rather she made up
her own story than know what I was, because nothing could be worse than the truth-I was a living
nightmare, straight from the pages of a horror novel. "I hope you enjoy disappointment."
We scowled at each other. It was odd how endearing her anger was. Like a furious kitten, soft and
harmless, and so unaware of her own vulnerability.
She flushed pink and ground her teeth together again. "Why did you even bother?" Her question wasn't
one that I was expecting or prepared to answer. I lost my hold on the role I was playing. I felt the mask
slip from my face, and I told her -this one time- the truth.

"I don't know."

I memorized her face one last time-it was still set in lines of anger, the blood not yet faded from her
cheeks-and then I turned and walked away from her.

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Twilight - Midnight Sun - Chapter 4. Visions

2010-07-18T01:30:00.000-07:00

I went back to school. This was the right thing to do, the most inconspicuous way to behave.

By the end of the day, almost all the other students had returned to class, too. Just Tyler and Bella and a
few others-who were probably using the accident as a chance to ditch-remained absent.

It shouldn't be so hard for me to do the right thing. But, all afternoon, I was gritting my teeth against the
urge that had me yearning ditch, too-in order to go find the girl again. Like a stalker. An obsessed
stalker. An obsessed, vampire stalker.

School today was-somehow, impossibly-even more boring than it had seemed just a week ago. Comalike.

It was as if the color had drained from the bricks, the trees, the sky, the faces around me... I stared
at the cracks in the walls.
There was another right thing I should be doing...that I was not. Of course, it was also a wrong thing. It
all depended on the perspective from which you viewed it.

From the perspective of a Cullen-not just a vampire, but a Cullen, someone who belonged to a family,
such a rare state in our world-the right thing to do would have gone something like this:
"I'm surprised to see you in class, Edward. I heard you were involved in that awful accident this
morning."

"Yes, I was, Mr. Banner, but I was the lucky one." A friendly smile. "I didn't get hurt at all... I wish I could
say the same for Tyler and Bella."

"How are they?"

"I think Tyler is fine...just some superficial scrapes from the windshield glass. I'm not sure about Bella,
though." A worried frown. "She might have a concussion. I heard she was pretty incoherent for a whileseeing
things even. I know the doctors were worried..."

That's how it should have gone. That's what I owed my family.

"I'm surprised to see you in class, Edward. I heard you were involved in that awful accident this
morning."

"I wasn't hurt." No smile.

Mr. Banner shifted his weight from foot to foot, uncomfortable. "Do you have any idea how Tyler
Crowley and Bella Swan are? I heard there were some injuries..."

I shrugged. "I wouldn't know."

Mr. Banner cleared his throat. "Er, right..." he said, my cold stare making his voice sound a bit strained.

He walked quickly back to the front of classroom and began his lecture.

It was the wrong thing to do. Unless you looked at it from a more obscure point of view. It just seemed
so...so unchivalrous to slander the girl behind her back, especially when she was proving more
trustworthy than I could have dreamed. She hadn't said anything to betray me, despite having good
reason to do so. Would I betray her when she had done nothing but keep my secret?

I had a nearly identical conversation with Mrs. Goff-just in Spanish rather than in English-and Emmett
gave me a long look.

I hope you have a good explanation for what happened today. Rose is on the warpath.

I rolled my eyes without looking at him.

I actually had come up with a perfectly sound explanation. Just suppose I hadn't done anything to stop
the van from crushing the girl... I recoiled from that thought. But if she had been hit, if she'd been
mangled and bleeding, the red fluid spilling, wasting on the blacktop, the scent of the fresh blood
pulsing through the air ...

I shuddered again, but not just in horror. Part of me shivered in desire. No, I would not have been able
to watch her bleed without exposing us all in a much more flagrant and shocking way.

It was a perfectly sound excuse...but I wouldn't use it. It was too shameful. And I hadn't thought of it
until long after the fact, regardless.

Look out for Jasper, Emmett went on, oblivious to my reverie. He's not as angry...but he's more
resolved.

I saw what he meant, and for a moment the room swam around me. My rage was so all-consuming that
a red haze clouded my vision. I thought I would choke on it.

SHEESH, EDWARD! GET A GRIP! Emmett shouted at me in his head. His hand came down on my
shoulder, holding me in my seat before I could jump to my feet.
He rarely used his full strength -there was rarely a need, for he was so much stronger than any vampire
any of us had ever encountered-but he used it now. He gripped my arm, rather than pushing me down.

If he'd been pushing, the chair under me would have collapsed.

EASY! He ordered.

I tried to calm myself, but it was hard. The rage burned in my head.
Jasper's not going to do anything until we all talk. I just thought you should know the direction he's
headed.

I concentrated on relaxing, and I felt Emmett's hand loosen.

Try not to make more of a spectacle of yourself. You're in enough trouble as it is.

I took a deep breath and Emmett released me.

I searched around the room routinely, but our confrontation had been so short and silent that only a
few people sitting behind Emmett had even noticed. None of them knew what to make of it, and they
shrugged it off. The Cullens were freaks-everyone knew that already.

Damn, kid, you're a mess, Emmett added, sympathy in his tone.

"Bite me," I muttered under my breath, and I heard his low chuckle.

Emmett didn't hold grudges, and I probably ought to be more grateful for his easy going nature. But I
could see that Jasper's intentions made sense to Emmett, that he was considering how it might be the
best course of action.

The rage simmered, barely under control. Yes, Emmett was stronger than I was, but he'd yet to beat me
in a wrestling match. He claimed that this was because I cheated, but hearing thoughts was just as much
a part of who I was as his immense strength was a part of him. We were evenly matched in a fight.

A fight? Was that where this was headed? Was I going to fight with my family over a human I barely
knew?

I thought about that for a moment, thought about the fragile feel of the girl's body in my arms in
juxtaposition with Jasper, Rose, and Emmett-supernaturally strong and fast, killing machines by nature...
Yes, I would fight for her. Against my family. I shuddered. But it wasn't fair to leave her undefended
when I was the one who'd put her in danger.

I couldn't win alone, though, not against the three of them, and I wondered who my allies would be.
Carlisle, certainly. He would not fight anyone, but he would be wholly against Rose's and Jasper's
designs. That might be all I needed. I would see...

Esme, doubtful. She would not side against me either, and she would hate to disagree with Carlisle, but
she would be for any plan that kept her family intact. Her first priority would not be rightness, but me. If
Carlisle was the soul of our family, then Esme was the heart. He gave us a leader who deserved
following; she made that following into an act of love. We all loved each other-even under the fury I felt
toward Jasper and Rose right now, even planning to fight them to save the girl, I knew that I loved them.

Alice...I had no idea. It would probably depend on what she saw coming. She would side with the
winner, I imagined.

So, I would have to do this without help. I wasn't a match for them alone, but I wasn't going to let the
girl be hurt because of me. That might mean evasive action...

My rage dulled a bit with the sudden, black humor. I could imagine how the girl would react to my
kidnapping her. Of course, I rarely guessed her reactions right-but what other reaction could she have
besides terror?

I wasn't sure how to manage that, though-kidnapping her. I wouldn't be able to stand being close to her
for very long. Perhaps I would just deliver her back to her mother. Even that much would be fraught
with danger. For her. And also for me, I realized suddenly. If I were to kill her by accident... I wasn't
certain exactly how much pain that would cause me, but I knew it would be multifaceted and intense.

The time passed quickly while I mulled over all the complications ahead of me: the argument waiting for
me at home, the conflict with my family, the lengths I might be forced to go to afterward...
Well, I couldn't complain that life outside this school was monotonous any more. The girl had changed
that much.

Emmett and I walked silently to the car when the bell rang. He was worrying about me, and worrying
about Rosalie. He knew whose side he would have to choose in a quarrel, and it bothered him.

The others were waiting for us in the car, also silent. We were a very quiet group. Only I could hear the
shouting.

Idiot! Lunatic! Moron! Jackass! Selfish, irresponsible fool! Rosalie kept up a constant stream of insults at
the top of her mental lungs. It made it hard to hear the others, but I ignored her as best I could.
Emmett was right about Jasper. He was sure of his course.

Alice was troubled, worrying about Jasper, flipping through images of the future. No matter which
direction Jasper came at the girl, Alice always saw me there, blocking him. Interesting...neither Rosalie
nor Emmett was with him in these visions. So Jasper planned to work alone. That would even things up.

Jasper was the best, certainly the most experienced fighter among us. My one advantage lay in that I
could hear his moves before he made them.

I had never fought more than playfully with Emmett or Jasper -just horsing around. I felt sick at the
thought of really trying to hurt Jasper...

No, not that. Just to block him. That was all.

I concentrated on Alice, memorizing Jasper's different avenues of attack. As I did that, her visions
shifted, moving further and further away from the Swan's house. I was cutting him off earlier...

Stop that, Edward! It can't happen this way. I won't let it.

I didn't answer her, I just kept watching.

She began searching farther ahead, into the misty, unsure realm of distant possibilities. Everything was
shadowy and vague.

The entire way home, the charged silence did not lift. I parked in the big garage off the house; Carlisle's
Mercedes was there, next to Emmett's big jeep, Rose's M3 and my Vanquish. I was glad Carlisle was
already home-this silence would end explosively, and I wanted him there when that happened.

We went straight to the dining room.

The room was, of course, never used for its intended purpose. But it was furnished with a long oval
mahogany table surrounded by chairs-we were scrupulous about having all the correct props in place.

Carlisle liked to use it as a conference room.

In a group with such strong and disparate personalities, sometimes it was necessary to discuss things in
a calm, seated manner.

I had a feeling that the setting was not going to help much today.

Carlisle sat in his usual seat at the eastern head of the room. Esme was beside him-they held hands on
top of the table.

Esme's eyes were on me, their golden depths full of concern.

Stay. It was her only thought.

I wished I could smile at the woman who was truly a mother to me, but I had no reassurances for her
now.

I sat on Carlisle's other side. Esme reached around him to put her free hand on my shoulder. She had no
idea of what was about to start; she was just worrying about me.

Carlisle had a better sense of what was coming. His lips were pressed tightly together and his forehead
was creased. The expression looked too old for his young face.

As everyone else sat, I could see the lines being drawn.
Rosalie sat directly across from Carlisle, on the other end of the long table. She glared at me, never
looking away.

Emmett sat beside her, his face and thoughts both wry.

Jasper hesitated, and then went to stand against the wall behind Rosalie. He was decided, regardless of
the outcome of this discussion. My teeth locked together.

Alice was the last to come in, and her eyes were focused on something far away-the future, still too
indistinct for her to make use of it. Without seeming to think about it, she sat next to Esme. She rubbed
her forehead as if she had a headache. Jasper twitched uneasily and considered joining her, but he kept
his place.

I took a deep breath. I had started this-I should speak first.

"I'm sorry," I said, looking first at Rose, then Jasper and then Emmett. "I didn't mean to put any of you at
risk. It was thoughtless, and I take full responsibility for my hasty action."

Rosalie glared at me balefully. "What do you mean, 'take full responsibility'? Are you going to fix it?"

"Not the way you mean," I said, working to keep my voice even and quiet. "I'm willing to leave now, if
that makes things better." If I believe that the girl will be safe, if I believe that none of you will touch her,

I amended in my head.

"No," Esme murmured. "No, Edward."

I patted her hand. "It's just a few years."

"Esme's right, though," Emmett said. "You can't go anywhere now. That would be the opposite of
helpful. We have to know what people are thinking, now more than ever."

"Alice will catch anything major," I disagreed.

Carlisle shook his head. "I think Emmett is right, Edward. The girl will be more likely to talk if you
disappear. It's all of us leave, or none of us."

"She won't say anything," I insisted quickly. Rose was building up to the explosion, and I wanted this fact
out there first.

"You don't know her mind," Carlisle reminded me.

"I know this much. Alice, back me up."

Alice stared up at me wearily. "I can't see what will happen if we just ignore this." She glanced at Rose
and Jasper.

No, she couldn't see that future-not when Rosalie and Jasper were so decided against ignoring the
incident.

Rosalie's palm smacked down on the table with a loud bang. "We can't allow the human a chance to say
anything. Carlisle, you must see that. Even if we decided to all disappear, it's not safe to leave stories
behind us. We live so differently from the rest of our kind-you know there are those who would love an
excuse to point fingers. We have to be more careful than anyone else!"

"We've left rumors behind us before," I reminded her.

"Just rumors and suspicions, Edward. Not eyewitnesses and evidence!"

"Evidence!" I scoffed.

But Jasper was nodding, his eyes hard.

"Rose-" Carlisle began.

"Let me finish, Carlisle. It doesn't have to be any big production. The girl hit her head today. So maybe
that injury turns out to be more serious than it looked." Rosalie shrugged. "Every mortal goes to sleep
with the chance of never waking up. The others would expect us to clean up after ourselves. Technically,
that would make it Edward's job, but this is obviously beyond him. You know I'm capable of control. I
would leave no evidence behind me."

"Yes, Rosalie, we all know how proficient an assassin you are," I snarled.

She hissed at me, furious.

"Edward, please," Carlisle said. Then he turned to Rosalie. "Rosalie, I looked the other way in Rochester
because I felt that you were owed your justice. The men you killed had wronged you monstrously. This is
not the same situation. The Swan girl is an innocent."

"It's not personal, Carlisle," Rosalie said through her teeth. "It's to protect us all."
There was a brief moment of silence while Carlisle thought through his answer. When he nodded,
Rosalie's eyes lit up. She should have known better. Even if I hadn't been able to read his thoughts, I
could have anticipated his next words. Carlisle never compromised.

"I know you mean well, Rosalie, but...I'd like very much for our family to be worth protecting. The
occasional...accident or lapse in control is a regrettable part of who we are." It was very like him to
include himself in the plural, though he had never had such a lapse himself. "To murder a blameless
child in cold blood is another thing entirely. I believe the risk she presents, whether she speaks her
suspicions or not, is nothing to the greater risk. If we make exceptions to protect ourselves, we risk
something much more important. We risk losing the essence of who we are."

I controlled my expression very carefully. It wouldn't do at all to grin. Or to applaud, as I wished I could.
Rosalie scowled. "It's just being responsible."

"It's being callous," Carlisle corrected gently. "Every life is precious."
Rosalie sighed heavily and her lower lip pouted out. Emmett patted her shoulder.

"It'll be fine, Rose," he encouraged in a low voice.

"The question," Carlisle continued, "is whether we should move on?"

"No," Rosalie moaned. "We just got settled. I don't want to start on my sophomore year in high school
again!"

"You could keep your present age, of course," Carlisle said.

"And have to move again that much sooner?" she countered.
Carlisle shrugged.

"I like it here! There's so little sun, we get to be almost normal."

"Well, we certainly don't have to decide now. We can wait and see if it becomes necessary. Edward
seems certain of the Swan girl's silence."

Rosalie snorted.

But I was no longer worried about Rose. I could see that she would go along with Carlisle's decision, not
matter how infuriated she was with me. Their conversation had moved on to unimportant details.

Jasper remained unmoved.

I understood why. Before he and Alice had met, he'd lived in a combat zone, a relentless theater of war.

He knew the consequences of flouting the rules-he'd seen the grisly aftermath with his own eyes.

It said much that he had not tried to calm Rosalie down with his extra faculties, nor did he now try to rile
her up. He was holding himself aloof from this discussion-above it.

"Jasper," I said.

He met my gaze, his face expressionless.

"She won't pay for my mistake. I won't allow that."

"She benefits from it, then? She should have died today, Edward. I would only set that right."

I repeated myself, emphasizing each word. "I will not allow it."

His eyebrows shot up. He wasn't expecting this-he hadn't imagined that I would act to stop him.

He shook his head once. "I won't let Alice live in danger, even a slight danger. You don't feel about
anyone the way I feel about her, Edward, and you haven't lived through what I've lived through,
whether you've seen my memories or not. You don't understand."

"I'm not disputing that, Jasper. But I'm telling you now, I won't allow you to hurt Isabella Swan."

We stared at each other-not glaring, but measuring the opposition. I felt him sample the mood around
me, testing my determination.

"Jazz," Alice said, interrupting us.

He held my gaze for a moment more, and then looked at her. "Don't bother telling me you can protect
yourself, Alice. I already know that. I've still got to-"

"That's not what I'm going say," Alice interrupted. "I was going to ask you for a favor."

I saw what was on her mind, and my mouth fell open with an audible gasp. I stared at her, shocked, only
vaguely aware that everyone besides Alice and Jasper was now eyeing me warily.

"I know you love me. Thanks. But I would really appreciate it if you didn't try to kill Bella. First of all,
Edward's serious and I don't want you two fighting. Secondly, she's my friend. At least, she's going to
be."

It was clear as glass in her head: Alice, smiling, with her icy white arm around the girl's warm, fragile
shoulders. And Bella was smiling, too, her arm around Alice's waist.

The vision was rock solid; only the timing of it was unsure.

"But...Alice..." Jasper gasped. I couldn't manage to turn my head to see his expression. I couldn't tear
myself away from the image in Alice's head in order to hear his.

"I'm going to love her someday, Jazz. I'll be very put out with you if you don't let her be."

I was still locked into Alice's thoughts. I saw the future shimmer as Jasper's resolve floundered in the
face of her unexpected request.

"Ah," she sighed-his indecision had cleared a new future. "See? Bella's not going to say anything. There's
nothing to worry about."

The way she said the girl's name...like they were already close confidants...

"Alice," I choked. "What...does this...?"

"I told you there was a change coming. I don't know, Edward." But she locked her jaw, and I could see
that there was more. She was trying not to think about it; she was focusing very hard on Jasper
suddenly, though he was too stunned to have progressed much in his decision making. She did this
sometimes when she was trying to keep something from me.

"What, Alice? What are you hiding?"

I heard Emmett grumble. He always got frustrated when Alice and I had these kinds of conversations.

She shook her head, trying to not let me in.

"Is it about the girl?" I demanded. "Is it about Bella?"

She had her teeth gritted in concentration, but when I spoke Bella's name, she slipped. Her slip only
lasted the tiniest portion of a second, but that was long enough.

"NO!" I shouted. I heard my chair hit the floor, and only then realized I was on my feet.

"Edward!" Carlisle was on his feet, too, his arm on my shoulder. I was barely aware of him.

"It's solidifying," Alice whispered. "Every minute you're more decided. There're really only two ways left
for her. It's one or the other, Edward."

I could see what she saw...but I could not accept it.

"No," I said again; there was no volume to my denial. My legs felt hollow, and I had to brace myself
against the table.

"Will somebody please let the rest of us in on the mystery?" Emmett complained.

"I have to leave," I whispered to Alice, ignoring him.

"Edward, we've already been over that," Emmett said loudly. "That's the best way to start the girl
talking. Besides, if you take off, we won't know for sure if she's talking or not. You have to stay and deal
with this."

"I don't see you going anywhere, Edward," Alice told me. "I don't know if you can leave anymore." Think
about it, she added silently. Think about leaving.

I saw what she meant. Yes, the idea of never seeing the girl again was...painful. But it was also
necessary. I couldn't sanction either future I'd apparently condemned her to.

I'm not entirely sure of Jasper, Edward, Alice went on. If you leave, if he thinks she's a danger to us...

"I don't hear that," I contradicted her, still only halfway aware of our audience. Jasper was wavering. He
would not do something that would hurt Alice.

Not right this moment. Will you risk her life, leave her undefended?

"Why are you doing this to me?" I groaned. My head fell into my hands. I was not Bella's protector. I
could not be that. Wasn't Alice's divided future enough proof of that?

I love her, too. Or I will. It's not the same, but I want her around for that.

"Love her, too?" I whispered, incredulous.

She sighed. You are so blind, Edward. Can't you see where you're headed? Can't you see where you
already are? It's more inevitable than the sun rising in the east. See what I see...

I shook my head, horrified. "No." I tried to shut out the visions she revealed to me. "I don't have to
follow that course. I'll leave. I will change the future."

"You can try," she said, her voice skeptical.

"Oh, come on!" Emmett bellowed.

"Pay attention," Rose hissed at him. "Alice sees him falling for a human! How classically Edward!" She
made a gagging sound.

I scarcely heard her.

"What?" Emmett said, startled. Then his booming laugh echoed through the room. "Is that what's been
going on?" He laughed again. "Tough break, Edward."

I felt his hand on my shoulder, and I shook it off absently. I couldn't pay attention to him.

"Fall for a human?" Esme repeated in a stunned voice. "For the girl he saved today? Fall in love with
her?"

"What do you see, Alice? Exactly," Jasper demanded.

She turned toward him; I continued to stare numbly at the side of her face. "It all depends on whether
he is strong enough or not. Either he'll kill her himself" -she turned to meet my gaze again, glaring-

"which would really irritate me, Edward, not to mention what it would do to you -" she faced Jasper
again, "or she'll be one of us someday."

Someone gasped; I didn't look to see who.

"That's not going to happen!" I was shouting again. "Either one!"

Alice didn't seem to hear me. "It all depends," she repeated. "He may be just strong enough not to kill
her-but it will be close. It will take an amazing amount of control," she mused. "More even than Carlisle
has. He may be just strong enough... The only thing he's not strong enough to do is stay away from her.

That's a lost cause."

I couldn't find my voice. No one else seemed to be able to either. The room was still. I stared at Alice,
and everyone else stared at me. I could see my own horrified expression from five different viewpoints.

After a long moment, Carlisle sighed. "Well, this...complicates things."

"I'll say," Emmett agreed. His voice was still close to laughter. Trust Emmett to find the joke in the
destruction of my life.

"I suppose the plans remain the same, though," Carlisle said thoughtfully. "We'll stay, and watch.
Obviously, no one will...hurt the girl."

I stiffened.

"No," Jasper said quietly. "I can agree to that. If Alice sees only two ways-"

"No!" My voice was not a shout or a growl or a cry of despair, but some combination of the three. "No!"

I had to leave, to be away from the noise of their thoughts-Rosalie's self-righteous disgust, Emmett's
humor, Carlisle's never ending patience...
Worse: Alice's confidence. Jasper's confidence in that confidence.
Worst of all: Esme's... joy.

I stalked out of the room. Esme touched my arm as I passed, but I didn't acknowledge the gesture.

I was running before I was out of the house. I cleared the river in one bound, and raced into the forest.

The rain was back again, falling so heavily that I was drenched in a few moments. I liked the thick sheet
of water-it made a wall between me and the rest of the world. It closed me in, let me be alone.

I ran due east, over and through the mountains without breaking my straight course, until I could see
the lights of Seattle on the other side of the sound. I stopped before I touched the borders of human
civilization.

Shut in by the rain, all alone, I finally made myself look at what I had done-at the way I had mutilated
the future.

First, the vision of Alice and the girl with their arms around each other-the trust and friendship was so
obvious it shouted from the image. Bella's wide chocolate eyes were not bewildered in this vision, but
still full of secrets-in this moment, they seemed to be happy secrets. She did not flinch away from Alice's
cold arm.

What did it mean? How much did she know? In that still-life moment from the future, what did she think
of me?

Then the other image, so much the same, yet now colored by horror. Alice and Bella, their arms still
wrapped around each other in trusting friendship. But now there was no difference between those
arms-both were white, smooth as marble, hard as steel.

Bella's wide eyes were no longer chocolate. The irises were a shocking, vivid crimson.
The secrets in them were unfathomable-acceptance or desolation? It was impossible to tell. Her face
was cold and immortal.

I shuddered. I could not suppress the questions, similar, but different: What did it mean-how had this
come about? And what did she think of me now?

I could answer that last one. If I forced her into this empty half-life through my weakness and
selfishness, surely she would hate me.

But there was one more horrifying image-worse than any image I'd ever held inside my head. My own
eyes, deep crimson with human blood, the eyes of the monster. Bella's broken body in my arms, ashy
white, drained, lifeless. It was so concrete, so clear.

I couldn't stand to see this. Could not bear it. I tried to banish it from my mind, tried to see something
else, anything else. Tried to see again the expression on her living face that had obstructed my view for
the last chapter of my existence. All to no avail.

Alice's bleak vision filled my head, and I writhed internally with the agony it caused. Meanwhile, the
monster in me was overflowing with glee, jubilant at the likelihood of his success. It sickened me.

This could not be allowed. There had to be a way to circumvent the future. I would not let Alice's visions
direct me. I could choose a different path. There was always a choice.

There had to be.

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Twilight - Midnight Sun - Chapter 5. Invitations

2010-07-18T01:29:00.000-07:00

High school. Purgatory no longer, it was now purely hell. Torment and fire...yes, I had both.

I was doing everything correctly now. Every "i" dotted, every "t" crossed. No one could complain that I
was shirking my responsibilities.

To please Esme and protect the others, I stayed in Forks. I returned to my old schedule. I hunted no
more than the rest of them. Everyday, I attended high school and played human. Everyday, I listened
carefully for anything new about the Cullens-there never was anything new. The girl did not speak one
word of her suspicions. She just repeated the same story again and again-I'd been standing with her and
then pulled her out of the way-till her eager listeners got bored and stopped looking for more details.

There was no danger. My hasty action had hurt no one. No one but myself.

I was determined to change the future. Not the easiest task to set for oneself, but there was no other
choice that I could live with.

Alice said that I would not be strong enough to stay away from the girl. I would prove her wrong.

I'd thought the first day would be the hardest. By the end of it, I'd been sure that was the case. I'd been
wrong, though.

It had rankled, knowing that I would hurt the girl. I'd comforted myself with the fact that her pain would
be nothing more than a pinprick-just a tiny sting of rejection-compared to mine. Bella was human, and
she knew that I was something else, something wrong, something frightening. She would probably be
more relieved than wounded when I turned my face away from her and pretended that she didn't exist.

"Hello, Edward," she'd greeted me, that first day back in biology. Her voice had been pleasant, friendly,
one hundred and eighty degrees from the last time I'd spoken with her.

Why? What did the change mean? Had she forgotten? Decided she had imagined the whole episode?

Could she possibly have forgiven me for not following through on my promise?

The questions had burned like the thirst that attacked me every time I breathed. Just one moment to
look in her eyes. Just to see if I could read the answers there...

No. I could not allow myself even that. Not if I was going to change the future. I'd moved my chin an inch
in her direction without looking away from the front of the room. I'd nodded once, and then turned my
face straight forward.

She did not speak to me again.

That afternoon, as soon as school was finished, my role played, I ran to Seattle as I had the day before. It
seemed that I could handle the aching just slightly better when I was flying over the ground, turning
everything around me into a green blur. This run became my daily habit.

Did I love her? I did not think so. Not yet. Alice's glimpses of that future had stuck with me, though, and I
could see how easy it would be to fall into loving Bella. It would be exactly like falling: effortless. Not
letting myself love her was the opposite of falling-it was pulling myself up a cliff-face, hand over hand,
the task as grueling as if I had no more than mortal strength.

More than a month passed, and every day it got harder. That made no sense to me-I kept waiting to get
over it, to have it get easier. This must be what Alice had meant when she'd predicted that I would not
be able to stay away from the girl. She had seen the escalation of the pain. But I could handle pain.

I would not destroy Bella's future. If I was destined to love her, then wasn't avoiding her the very least I
could do?

Avoiding her was about the limit of what I could bear, though. I could pretend to ignore her, and never
look her way. I could pretend that she was of no interest to me.

But that was the extent, just pretense and not reality.

I still hung on every breath she took, every word she said.

I lumped my torments into four categories.

The first two were familiar. Her scent and her silence. Or, rather-to take the responsibility on myself
where it belonged-my thirst and my curiosity.

The thirst was the most primal of my torments. It was my habit now to simply not breathe at all in
Biology. Of course, there were always the exceptions-when I had to answer a question or something of
the sort, and I would need my breath to speak. Each time I tasted the air around the girl, it was the same
as the first day-fire and need and brutal violence desperate to break free. It was hard to cling even
slightly to reason or restraint in those moments. And, just like that first day, the monster in me would
roar, so close to the surface...

The curiosity was the most constant of my torments. The question was never out of my mind: What is
she thinking now? When I heard her quietly sigh. When she twisted a lock of hair absently around her
finger. When she threw her books down with more force than usual. When she rushed to class late.
When she tapped her foot impatiently against the floor. Each movement caught in my peripheral vision
was a maddening mystery. When she spoke to the other human students, I analyzed her every word and
tone. Was she speaking her thoughts, or what she thought she should say? It often sounded to me like
she was trying to say what her audience expected, and this reminded me of my family and our daily life
of illusion-we were better at it than she was. Unless I wrong about that, just imagining things. Why
would she have to play a role? She was one of them-a human teenager.

Mike Newton was the most surprising of my torments. Who would have ever dreamed that such a
generic, boring mortal could be so infuriating? To be fair, I should have felt some gratitude to the
annoying boy; more than the others, he kept the girl talking. I learned so much about her through these
conversations-I was still compiling my list-but, contrarily, Mike's assistance with this project only
aggravated me more. I didn't want Mike to be the one that unlocked her secrets. I wanted to do that.

It helped that he never noticed her small revelations, her little slips. He knew nothing about her. He'd
created a Bella in his head that didn't exist-a girl just as generic as he was. He hadn't observed the
unselfishness and bravery that set her apart from other humans, he didn't hear the abnormal maturity
of her spoken thoughts. He didn't perceive that when she spoke of her mother, she sounded like a
parent speaking of a child rather than the other way around-loving, indulgent, slightly amused, and
fiercely protective. He didn't hear the patience in her voice when she feigned interest in his rambling
stories, and didn't guess at the kindness behind that patience.

Through her conversations with Mike, I was able to add the most important quality to my list, the most
revealing of them all, as simple as it was rare. Bella was good . All the other things added up to that
whole-kind and self-effacing and unselfish and loving and brave-she was good through and through.

These helpful discoveries did not warm me to the boy, however. The possessive way he viewed Bella-as
if she were an acquisition to be made-provoked me almost as much as his crude fantasies about her. He
was becoming more confident of her, too, as the time passed, for she seemed to prefer him over those
he considered his rivals-Tyler Crowley, Eric Yorkie, and even, sporadically, myself. He would routinely sit
on her side of our table before class began, chattering at her, encouraged by her smiles. Just polite
smiles, I told myself. All the same, I frequently amused myself by imagining backhanding him across the
room and into the far wall... It probably wouldn't injure him fatally...

Mike didn't often think of me as a rival. After the accident, he'd worried that Bella and I would bond
from the shared experience, but obviously the opposite had resulted. Back then, he had still been
bothered that I'd singled Bella out over her peers for attention. But now I ignored her just as thoroughly
as the others, and he grew complacent.

What was she thinking now? Did she welcome his attention?

And, finally, the last of my torments, the most painful: Bella's indifference. As I ignored her, she ignored
me. She never tried to speak to me again. For all I knew, she never thought about me at all.

This might have driven me mad-or even broken my resolution to change the future-except that she
sometimes stared at me like she had before. I didn't see it for myself, as I could not allow myself to look
at her, but Alice always warned us when she was about to stare; the others were still wary of the girl's
problematic knowledge.

It eased some of the pain that she gazed at me from across a distance, every now and then. Of course,

she could just be wondering what kind of a freak I was.

"Bella's going to stare at Edward in a minute. Look normal," Alice said one Tuesday in March, and the
others were careful to fidget and shift their weight like humans; absolute stillness was a marker of our
kind.

I paid attention to how often she looked my direction. It pleased me, though it should not, that the
frequency did not decline as the time passed. I didn't know what it meant, but it made me feel better.

Alice sighed. I wish...

"Stay out of it, Alice," I said under my breath. "It's not going to happen."
She pouted. Alice was anxious to form her envisioned friendship with Bella. In a strange way, she missed

the girl she didn't know.

I'll admit, you're better than I thought. You've got the future all snarled up and senseless again. I hope
you're happy.

"It makes plenty of sense to me."

She snorted delicately.

I tried to shut her out, too impatient for conversation. I wasn't in a very good mood-tenser than I let any
of them see. Only Jasper was aware of how tightly wound I was, feeling the stress emanate out of me
with his unique ability to both sense and influence the moods of others. He didn't understand the
reasons behind the moods, though, and-since I was constantly in a foul mood these days-he disregarded
it.

Today would be a hard one. Harder than the day before, as was the pattern.
Mike Newton, the odious boy whom I could not allow myself to rival, was going to ask Bella on a date.

A girl's choice dance was on the near horizon, and he'd been hoping very much that Bella would ask him.
That she had not done so had rattled his confidence. Now he was in an uncomfortable bind-I enjoyed his
discomfort more than I should-because Jessica Stanley had just asked him to the dance. He didn't want
to say "yes," still hopeful that Bella would choose him (and prove him the victor over his rivals), but he
didn't want to say "no" and end up missing the dance altogether. Jessica, hurt by his hesitation and
guessing the reason behind it, was thinking daggers at Bella. Again, I had the instinct to place myself
between Jessica's angry thoughts and Bella. I understood the instinct better now, but that only made it
more frustrating when I could not act on it.

To think it had come to this! I was utterly fixated on the petty high school dramas that I'd once held so in
contempt.

Mike was working up his nerve as he walked Bella to biology. I listened to his struggles as I waited for
them to arrive. The boy was weak. He had waited for this dance purposely, afraid to make his
infatuation known before she had shown a marked preference for him. He didn't want to make himself
vulnerable to rejection, preferring that she make that leap first.
Coward.

He sat down on our table again, comfortable with long familiarity, and I imagined the sound it would
make if his body hit the opposite wall with enough force to break most of his bones.

"So," he said to the girl, his eyes on the floor. "Jessica asked me to the spring dance."

"That's great," Bella answered immediately and with enthusiasm. It was hard not to smile as her tone
sunk in to Mike's awareness. He'd been hoping for dismay. "You'll have a lot of fun with Jessica."

He scrambled for the right response. "Well..." he hesitated, and almost chickened out. Then he rallied. "I
told her I had to think about it."

"Why would you do that?" she demanded. Her tone was one of disapproval, but there was the faintest
hint of relief there as well.

What did that mean? An unexpected, intense fury made my hands clench into fists. Mike did not hear
the relief. His face was red with blood-fierce as I suddenly felt, this seemed like an invitation-and he
looked at the floor again as he spoke.

"I was wondering if...well, if you might be planning to ask me."
Bella hesitated.

In that moment of her hesitation, I saw the future more clearly than Alice ever had.

The girl might say yes to Mike's unspoken question now, and she might not, but either way, someday
soon, she would say yes to someone. She was lovely and intriguing, and human males were not oblivious
to this fact. Whether she would settle for someone in this lackluster crowd, or wait until she was free
from Forks, the day would come that she would say yes.

I saw her life as I had before-college, career...love, marriage. I saw her on her father's arm again, dressed
in gauzy white, her face flushed with happiness as she moved to the sound of Wagner's march.

The pain was more than anything I'd felt before. A human would have to be on the point of death to feel
this pain-a human would not live through it.

And not just pain, but outright rage.

The fury ached for some kind of physical outlet. Though this insignificant, undeserving boy might not be
the one that Bella would say yes to, I yearned to crush his skull in my hand, to let him stand as a
representative for whoever it would be.

I didn't understand this emotion-it was such a tangle of pain and rage and desire and despair. I had
never felt it before; I couldn't put a name to it.

"Mike, I think you should tell her yes," Bella said in a gentle voice.

Mike's hopes plummeted. I would have enjoyed that under other circumstances, but I was lost in the
aftershock of the pain-and the remorse for what the pain and rage had done to me.

Alice was right. I was not strong enough.

Right now, Alice would be watching the future spin and twist, become mangled again. Would this please
her?

"Did you already ask someone?" Mike asked sullenly. He glanced at me, suspicious for the first time in
many weeks. I realized I had betrayed my interest; my head was inclined in Bella's direction.

The wild envy in his thoughts-envy for whoever this girl preferred to him-suddenly put a name to my
unnamed emotion.

I was jealous.

"No," the girl said with a trace of humor in her voice. "I'm not going to the dance at all."

Through all the remorse and anger, I felt relief at her words. Suddenly, I was considering my rivals.

"Why not?" Mike asked, his tone almost rude. It offended me that he used this tone with her. I bit back
a growl.

"I'm going to Seattle that Saturday," she answered.

The curiosity was not as vicious as it would have been before-now that I was fully intending to find out
the answers to everything. I would know the wheres and whys of this new revelation soon enough.

Mike's tone turned unpleasantly wheedling. "Can't you go some other weekend?"

"Sorry, no." Bella was brusquer now. "So you shouldn't make Jess wait any longer-it's rude."

Her concern for Jessica's feelings fanned the flames of my jealousy. This Seattle trip was clearly an
excuse to say no-did she refuse purely out of loyalty to her friend?

She was more than selfless enough for that. Did she actually wish she could say yes? Or were both
guesses wrong? Was she interested in someone else?

"Yeah, you're right," Mike mumbled, so demoralized that I almost felt pity for him. Almost.

He dropped his eyes from the girl, cutting off my view of her face in his thoughts. I wasn't going to
tolerate that.

I turned to read her face myself, for the first time in more than a month. It was a sharp relief to allow
myself this, like a gasp of air to long-submerged human lungs.

Her eyes were closed, and her hands pressed against the sides of her face. Her shoulders curved inward
defensively. She shook her head ever so slightly, as if she were trying to push some thought from her
mind.

Frustrating. Fascinating.

Mr. Banner's voice pulled her from her reverie, and her eyes slowly opened. She looked at me
immediately, perhaps sensing my gaze. She stared up into my eyes with the same bewildered expression
that had haunted me for so long.

I didn't feel the remorse or the guilt or the rage in that second. I knew they would come again, and come
soon, but for this one moment I rode a strange, jittery high. As if I had triumphed, rather than lost.

She didn't look away, though I stared with inappropriate intensity, trying vainly to read her thoughts
through her liquid brown eyes. They were full of questions, rather than answers.

I could see the reflection of my own eyes, and I saw that they were black with thirst. It had been nearly
two weeks since my last hunting trip; this was not the safest day for my will to crumble. But the
blackness did not seem to frighten her. She still did not look away, and a soft, devastatingly appealing
pink began to color her skin.

What was she thinking now?

I almost asked the question aloud, but at that moment Mr. Banner called my name. I picked the correct
answer out of his head while I glanced briefly in his direction. I sucked in a quick breath. "The Krebs
Cycle."

Thirst scorched down my throat-tightening my muscles and filling my mouth with venom-and I closed
my eyes, trying to concentrate through the desire for her blood that raged inside me.

The monster was stronger than before. The monster was rejoicing. He embraced this dual future that
gave him an even, fifty-fifty chance at what he craved so viciously.

The third, shaky future I'd tried to construct through willpower alone had crumbled-destroyed by
common jealously, of all things-and he was so much closer to his goal.

The remorse and the guilt burned with the thirst, and, if I'd had the ability to produce tears, they would
have filled my eyes now.

What had I done?

Knowing the battle was already lost, there seemed to be no reason to resist what I wanted; I turned to
stare at the girl again.

She had hidden in her hair, but I could see through a parting in the tresses that her cheek was deep
crimson now.

The monster liked that.

She did not meet my gaze again, but she twisted a strand of her dark hair nervously between her fingers.

Her delicate fingers, her fragile wrist-they were so breakable, looking for all the world like just my breath

could snap them.

No, no, no. I could not do this. She was too breakable, too good, too precious to deserve this fate. I

couldn't allow my life to collide with hers, to destroy it.

But I couldn't stay away from her either. Alice was right about that.

The monster inside me hissed with frustration as I wavered, leaning first one way, then the other.

My brief hour with her passed all too quickly, as I vacillated between the rock and the hard place. The
bell rang, and she started collecting her things without looking at me.

This disappointed me, but I could hardly expect otherwise. The way I had treated her since the accident
was inexcusable.

"Bella?" I said, unable to stop myself. My willpower already lay in shreds.

She hesitated before looking at me; when she turned, her expression was guarded, distrustful. I
reminded myself that she had every right to distrust me. That she should.

She waited for me to continue, but I just stared at her, reading her face. I pulled in shallow mouthfuls of
air at regular intervals, fighting my thirst.

"What?" she finally said. "Are you speaking to me again?" There was an edge of resentment to her tone
that was, like her anger, endearing. It made me want to smile.

I wasn't sure how to answer her question. Was I speaking to her again, in the sense that she meant?

No. Not if I could help it. I would try to help it.

"No, not really," I told her.

She closed her eyes, which frustrated me. It cut off my best avenue of access to her feelings. She took a
long, slow breath without opening her eyes. Her jaw was locked.

Eyes still closed, she spoke. Surely this was not a normal human way to converse. Why did she do it?

"Then what do you want, Edward?"

The sound of my name on her lips did strange things to my body. If I'd had a heartbeat, it would have
quickened. But how to answer her?

With the truth, I decided. I would be as truthful as I could with her from now on. I didn't want to deserve
her distrust, even if earning her trust was impossible.

"I'm sorry," I told her. That was truer than she would ever know. Unfortunately, I could only safely
apologize for the trivial. "I'm being very rude, I know. But it's better this way, really." I would be better
for her if I could keep it up, continue to be rude. Could I?

Her eyes opened, their expression still wary. "I don't know what you mean."

I tried to get as much of a warning through to her as was allowed. "It's better if we're not friends."

Surely, she could sense that much. She was a bright girl. "Trust me."

Her eyes tightened, and I remembered that I had said those words to her before-just before breaking a
promise. I winced when her teeth clenched together-she clearly remembered, too.

"It's too bad you didn't figure that out earlier," she said angrily. "You could have saved yourself all this
regret."

I stared at her in shock. What did she know of my regrets?

"Regret? Regret for what?" I demanded.

"For not just letting that stupid van squish me!" she snapped.

I froze, stunned.

How could she be thinking that? Saving her life was the one acceptable thing I'd done since I met her.

The one thing that I was not ashamed of. The one and only thing that made me glad I existed at all. I'd
been fighting to keep her alive since the first moment I'd caught her scent. How could she think this of
me? How dare she question my one good deed in all this mess?

"You think I regret saving your life?"

"I know you do," she retorted.
Her estimation of my intentions left me seething. "You don't know anything."

How confusing and incomprehensible the workings of her mind were! She must not think in the same
way as other humans at all. That must be the explanation behind her mental silence. She was entirely
other.

She jerked her face away, gritting her teeth again. Her cheeks were flushed, with anger this time. She
slammed her books together in a pile, yanked them up into her arms, and marched toward the door
without meeting my stare.

Even irritated as I was, it was impossible not to find her anger a bit entertaining. She walked stiffly,
without looking where she was going, and her foot caught on the lip of the doorway. She stumbled, and
her things all crashed to the ground. Instead of bending to get them, she stood rigidly straight, not even
looking down, as if she were not sure the books were worth retrieving.

I managed not to laugh.

No one was here to watch me; I flitted to her side, and had her books put in order before she looked
down.

She bent halfway, saw me, and then froze. I handed her books back to her, making sure that my icy skin
never touched hers.

"Thank you," she said in a cold, severe voice.

Her tone brought back my irritation. "You're welcome," I said just as coldly.

She wrenched herself upright and stomped away to her next class. I watched until I could no longer see
her angry figure.

Spanish passed in a blur. Mrs. Goff never questioned my abstraction-she knew my Spanish was superior
to hers, and she gave me a great deal of latitude-leaving me free to think.

So, I couldn't ignore the girl. That much was obvious. But did it mean I had no choice but to destroy her?

That could not be the only available future. There had to be some other choice, some delicate balance. I
tried to think of a way...

I didn't pay much attention to Emmett until the hour was nearly up. He was curious-Emmett was not
overly intuitive about the shades in other's moods, but he could see the obvious change in me. He
wondered what had happened to remove the unrelenting glower from my face. He struggled to define
the change, and finally decided that I looked hopeful.

Hopeful? Is that what it looked like from the outside?

I pondered the idea of hope as we walked to the Volvo, wondering what exactly I should be hoping for.
But I didn't have long to ponder. Sensitive as I always was to thoughts about the girl, the sound of Bella's
name in the heads of...of my rivals, I suppose I had to admit, caught my attention. Eric and Tyler, having
heard-with much satisfaction-of Mike's failure, were preparing to make their moves.

Eric was already in place, positioned against her truck where she could not avoid him. Tyler's class was
being held late to receive an assignment, and he was in a desperate hurry to catch her before she
escaped.

This I had to see.

"Wait for the others here, all right?" I murmured to Emmett.
He eyed me suspiciously, but then shrugged and nodded. Kid's lost his mind, he thought, amused by my
odd request.

I saw Bella on her way out of the gym, and I waited where she would not see me for her to pass. As she
got closer to Eric's ambush, I strode forward, setting my pace so that I would walk by at the right
moment.

I watched her body stiffen when she caught sight of the boy waiting for her. She froze for a moment,
then relaxed and moved forward.

"Hi, Eric," I heard her call in a friendly voice.

I was abruptly and unexpectedly anxious. What if this gangly teen with his unhealthy skin was somehow
pleasing to her?

Eric swallowed loudly, his Adam's apple bobbing. "Hi, Bella."

She seemed unconscious of his nervousness. "What's up?" she asked, unlocking her truck without
looking at his frightened expression.

"Uh, I was just wondering...if you would go to the spring dance with me?" His voice broke.

She finally looked up. Was she taken aback, or pleased? Eric couldn't meet her gaze, so I couldn't see her
face in his mind.

"I thought it was girl's choice," she said, sounding flustered.

"Well, yeah," he agreed wretchedly.
This pitiable boy did not irritate me as much as Mike Newton did, but I couldn't find it in myself to feel
sympathy for his angst until after Bella had answered him in a gentle voice.

"Thank you for asking me, but I'm going to be in Seattle that day."

He'd already heard this; still, it was a disappointment.

"Oh," he mumbled, barely daring to raise his eyes to the level of her nose. "Maybe next time."

"Sure," she agreed. Then she bit down on her lip, as if she regretted leaving him a loophole. I liked that.
Eric slumped forward and walked away, headed in the wrong direction from his car, his only thought
escape.

I passed her in that moment, and heard her sigh of relief. I laughed.
She whirled at the sound, but I stared straight ahead, trying to keep my lips from twitching in
amusement.

Tyler was behind me, almost running in his hurry to catch her before she could drive away. He was
bolder and more confident than the other two; he'd only waited to approach Bella this long because
he'd respected Mike's prior claim.

I wanted him to succeed in catching her for two reasons. If-as I was beginning to suspect-all this
attention was annoying to Bella, I wanted to enjoy watching her reaction. But, if it was not-if Tyler's
invitation was the one she'd been hoping for-then I wanted to know that, too.

I measured Tyler Crowley as a rival, knowing it was wrong to do so. He seemed tediously average and
unremarkable to me, but what did I know of Bella's preferences?

Maybe she liked average boys...

I winced at that thought. I could never be an average boy. How foolish it was to set myself up as a rival
for her affections. How could she ever care for someone who was, by any estimation, a monster?

She was too good for a monster.

I ought to have let her escape, but my inexcusable curiosity kept me from doing what was right. Again.

But what if Tyler missed his chance now, only to contact her later when I would have no way of knowing
the outcome? I pulled my Volvo out into the narrow lane, blocking her exit.

Emmett and the others were on their way, but he'd described my strange behavior to them, and they
were walking slowly, watching me, trying to decipher what I was doing.

I watched the girl in my rearview mirror. She glowered toward the back of my car without meeting my
gaze, looking as if she wished she were driving a tank rather than a rusted Chevy.

Tyler hurried to his car and got in line behind her, grateful for my inexplicable behavior. He waved at
her, trying to catch her attention, but she didn't notice. He waited a moment, and then left his car,
sauntering up to her passenger side window. He tapped on the glass.

She jumped, and then stared at him in confusion. After a second, she rolled the window down manually,

seeming to have some trouble with it.

"I'm sorry, Tyler," she said, her voice irritated. "I'm stuck behind Cullen." She said my surname in a hard

voice-she was still angry with me.

"Oh, I know," Tyler said, undeterred by her mood. "I just wanted to ask you something while we're
trapped here." His grin was cocky.

I was gratified by the way she blanched at his obvious intent.

"Will you ask me to the spring dance?" he asked, no thought of defeat in his head.

"I'm not going to be in town, Tyler," she told him, irritation still plain in her voice.

"Yeah, Mike said that."

"Then why-?" she stared to ask.

He shrugged. "I was hoping you were just letting him down easy."

Her eyes flashed, then cooled. "Sorry, Tyler," she said, not sounding sorry at all.

"I really am going to be out of town."

He accepted that excuse, his self-assurance untouched. "That's cool. We still have prom."

He strutted back to his car.

I was right to have waited for this.

The horrified expression on her face was priceless. It told me what I should not so desperately need to
know-that she had no feelings for any of these human males who wished to court her.

Also, her expression was possibly the funniest thing I'd ever seen.

My family arrived then, confused by the fact that I was, for a change, rocking with laughter rather than
scowling murderously at everything in sight.

What's so funny? Emmett wanted to know.

I just shook my head while I also shook with fresh laughter as Bella revved her noisy engine angrily. She
looked like she was wishing for a tank again.

"Let's go!" Rosalie hissed impatiently. "Stop being an idiot. If you can."

Her words didn't annoy me-I was too entertained. But I did as she asked.

No one spoke to me on the way home. I continued to chuckle every now and again, thinking of Bella's
face.

As I turned on to the drive-speeding up now that there were no witnesses-Alice ruined my mood.

"So do I get to talk to Bella now?" she asked suddenly, without considering the words first, thus giving
me no warning.

"No," I snapped.

"Not fair! What am I waiting for?"

"I haven't decided anything, Alice."

"Whatever, Edward."

In her head, Bella's two destinies were clear again.

"What's the point in getting to know her?" I mumbled, suddenly morose. "If I'm just going to kill her?"

Alice hesitated for a second. "You have a point," she admitted.

I took the final hairpin turn at ninety miles an hour, and then screeched to a stop an inch from the back
garage wall.

"Enjoy your run," Rosalie said smugly as I threw myself out of the car.

But I didn't go running today. Instead, I went hunting.

The others were scheduled to hunt tomorrow, but I couldn't afford to be thirsty now. I overdid it,
drinking more than necessary, glutting myself again-a small grouping of elk and one black bear I was
lucky to stumble across this early in the year. I was so full it was uncomfortable. Why couldn't that be
enough? Why did her scent have to be so much stronger than anything else?

I had hunted in preparation for the next day, but, when I could hunt no more and the sun was still hours
and hours from rising, I knew that the next day was not soon enough.

The jittery high swept through me again when I realized that I was going to go find the girl.

I argued with myself all the way back to Forks, but my less noble side won the argument, and I went
ahead with my indefensible plan. The monster was restless but well-fettered. I knew I would keep a safe
distance from her. I only wanted to know where she was. I just wanted to see her face.

It was past midnight, and Bella's house was dark and quiet. Her truck was parked against the curb, her
father's police cruiser in the driveway. There were no conscious thoughts anywhere in the
neighborhood. I watched the house for a moment from the blackness of the forest that bordered it on
the east. The front door would probably be locked-not a problem, except that I didn't want to leave a
broken door as evidence behind me. I decided to try the upstairs window first. Not many people would
bother installing a lock there.

I crossed the open yard and scaled the face of the house in half a second. Dangling from the eave above
the window by one hand, I looked through the glass, and my breath stopped.

It was her room. I could see her in the one small bed, her covers on the floor and her sheets twisted
around her legs. As I watched, she twitched restlessly and threw one arm over her head. She did not
sleep soundly, at least not this night. Did she sense the danger near her?

I was repulsed by myself as I watched her toss again. How was I any better than some sick peeping tom?
I wasn't any better. I was much, much worse.

I relaxed my fingertips, about to let myself drop. But first I allowed myself one long look at her face.

It was not peaceful. The little furrow was there between her eyebrows, the corners of her lips turned

down. Her lips trembled, and then parted.

"Okay, Mom," she muttered.

Bella talked in her sleep.

Curiosity flared, overpowering self-disgust. The lure of those unprotected, unconsciously spoken
thoughts was impossibly tempting.

I tried the window, and it was not locked, though it stuck due to long disuse. I slid it slowly aside,
cringing at each faint groan of the metal frame. I would have to find some oil for next time...

Next time? I shook my head, disgusted again.

I eased myself silently through the half-opened window. Her room was small-disorganized but not
unclean. There were books piled on the floor beside her bed, their spines facing away from me, and CDs
scattered by her inexpensive CD player-the one on top was just a clear jewel case. Stacks of papers
surrounded a computer that looked like it belonged in a museum dedicated to obsolete technologies.
Shoes dotted the wooden floor.

I wanted very much to go read the titles of her books and CDs, but I'd promised myself that I would keep
my distance; instead, I went to sit the old rocking chair in the far corner of the room.

Had I really once thought her average-looking? I thought of that first day, and my disgust for the boys
who were so immediately intrigued with her. But when I remembered her face in their minds now, I
could not understand why I had not found her beautiful immediately. It seemed an obvious thing.
Right now-with her dark hair tangled and wild around her pale face, wearing a threadbare t-shirt full of
holes with tatty sweatpants, her features relaxed in unconsciousness, her full lips slightly parted-she
took my breath away. Or would have, I thought wryly, if I were breathing.

She did not speak. Perhaps her dream had ended.

I stared at her face and tried to think of some way to make the future bearable.

Hurting her was not bearable. Did that mean my only choice was to try to leave again?
The others could not argue with me now. My absence would not put anyone in danger. There would be
no suspicion, nothing to link anyone's thoughts back to the accident.

I wavered as I had this afternoon, and nothing seemed possible. I could not hope to rival the human
boys, whether these specific boys appealed to her or not. I was a monster. How could she see me as
anything else? If she knew the truth about me, it would frighten and repulse her. Like the intended
victim in a horror movie, she would run away, shrieking in terror.

I remembered her first day in biology...and knew that this was exactly the right reaction for her to have.
It was foolishness to imagine that if had I been the one to ask her to the silly dance, she would have
cancelled her hastily-made plans and agreed to go with me.

I was not the one she was destined to say yes to. It was someone else, someone human and warm. And I
could not even let myself-someday, when that yes was said-hunt him down and kill him, because she
deserved him, whoever he was. She deserved happiness and love with whomever she chose.

I owed it to her to do the right thing now; I could no longer pretend that I was only in danger of loving
this girl.

After all, it really didn't matter if I left, because Bella could never see me the way I wished she would.
Never see me as someone worthy of love.
Never.

Could a dead, frozen heart break? It felt like mine would.

"Edward," Bella said.

I froze, staring at her unopened eyes. Had she woken, caught me here? She looked asleep, yet her voice
had been so clear...

She sighed a quiet sigh, and then moved restlessly again, rolling to her side-still fast asleep and
dreaming.

"Edward," she mumbled softly.

She was dreaming of me.

Could a dead, frozen heart beat again? It felt like mine was about to.

"Stay," she sighed. "Don't go. Please...don't go."

She was dreaming of me, and it wasn't even a nightmare. She wanted me to stay with her, there in her
dream.

I struggled to find words to name the feelings that flooded through me, but I had no words strong
enough to hold them. For a long moment, I drowned in them. When I surfaced, I was not the same man I

had been.

My life was an unending, unchanging midnight. It must, by necessity, always be midnight for me. So how

was it possible that the sun was rising now, in the middle of my midnight?

At the time that I had become a vampire, trading my soul and my mortality for immortality in the
searing pain of transformation, I had truly been frozen. My body had turned into something more like
rock than flesh, enduring and unchanging. My self, also, had frozen as it was-my personality, my likes
and my dislikes, my moods and my desires; all were fixed in place. It was the same for the rest of them.
We were all frozen. Living stone.

When change came for one of us, it was a rare and permanent thing. I had seen it happen with Carlisle,
and then a decade later with Rosalie. Love had changed them in an eternal way, a way that never faded.
More than eighty years had passed since Carlisle had found Esme, and yet he still looked at her with the
incredulous eyes of first love. It would always be that way for them.
It would always be that way for me, too. I would always love this fragile human girl, for the rest of my
limitless existence.

I gazed at her unconscious face, feeling this love for her settle into every portion of my stone body.
She slept more peacefully now, a slight smile on her lips.
Always watching her, I began to plot.

I loved her, and so I would try to be strong enough to leave her. I knew I wasn't that strong now. I would
work on that one. But perhaps I was strong enough to circumvent the future in another way.
Alice had seen only two futures for Bella, and now I understood them both.

Loving her would not keep me from killing her, if I let myself make mistakes. Yet I could not feel the
monster now, could not find him anywhere in me.

Perhaps love had silenced him forever. If I killed her now, it would not be intentional, only a horrible
accident. I would have to be inordinately careful. I would never, ever be able to let my guard down. I
would have to control my every breath. I would have to keep an always cautious distance.

I would not make mistakes.

I finally understood that second future. I'd been baffled by that vision-what could possibly happen to
result in Bella becoming a prisoner to this immortal half-life?
Now-devastated by longing for the girl-I could understand how I might, in unforgivable selfishness, ask
my father for that favor. Ask him to take away her life and her soul so that I could keep her forever.

She deserved better.

But I saw one more future, one thin wire that I might be able to walk, if I could keep my balance.
Could I do it? Be with her and leave her human?

Deliberately, I took a deep breath, and then another, letting her scent rip through me like wildfire. The
room was thick with her perfume; her fragrance was layered on every surface. My head swam, but I
fought the spinning. I would have to get used to this, if I were going to attempt any kind of relationship
with her. I took another deep, burning breath.

I watched her sleeping until the sun rose behind the eastern clouds, plotting and breathing.

I got home just after the others had left for school. I changed quickly, avoiding Esme's questioning eyes.

She saw the feverish light in my face, and she felt both worry and relief. My long melancholy had pained
her, and she was glad it seemed to be over.

I ran to school, arriving a few seconds after my siblings did. They did not turn, though Alice at least must
have known that I stood here in the thick woods that bordered the pavement. I waited until no one was
looking, and then I strolled casually from between the trees into the lot full of parked cars.

I heard Bella's truck rumbling around the corner, and I paused behind a Suburban, where I could watch
without being seen.

She drove into the lot, glaring at my Volvo for a long moment before she parked in one of the most
distant spaces, a frown on her face.

It was strange to remember that she was probably still angry with me, and with good reason.
I wanted to laugh at myself-or kick myself. All my plotting and planning was entirely moot if she didn't
care for me, too, wasn't it? Her dream could have been about something completely random. I was such
an arrogant fool.

Well, it was so much the better for her if she didn't care for me. That wouldn't stop me from pursuing
her, but I would give her fair warning as I pursued. I owed her that.

I walked silently forward, wondering how best to approach her.

She made it easy. Her truck key slipped through her fingers as she got out, and fell into a deep puddle.

She reached down, but I got to it first, retrieving it before she had to put her fingers in the cold water.

I leaned back against her truck as she started and then straightened up.

"How do you do that?" she demanded.

Yes, she was still angry.

I offered her the key. "Do what?"

She held her hand out, and I dropped the key in her palm. I took a deep breath, pulling in her scent.

"Appear out of thin air," she clarified.

"Bella, it's not my fault if you are exceptionally unobservant." The words were wry, almost a joke. Was

there anything she didn't see?

Did she hear how my voice wrapped around her name like a caress?

She glared at me, not appreciating my humor. Her heartbeat sped-from anger? From fear? After a
moment, she looked down.

"Why the traffic jam last night?" she asked without meeting my eyes. "I thought you were supposed to
be pretending I don't exist, not irritating me to death."
Still very angry. It was going to take some effort to make things right with her. I remembered my resolve
to be truthful with her...

"That was for Tyler's sake, not mine. I had to give him his chance." And then I laughed. I couldn't help it,
thinking of her expression yesterday.

"You-" she gasped, and then broke off, appearing to be too furious to finish. There it was-that same
expression. I choked back another laugh. She was mad enough already.

"And I'm not pretending you don't exist," I finished. It was right to keep this casual, teasing. She would
not understand if I let her see how I really felt. I would frighten her. I had to keep my feelings in check,
keep things light...

"So you are trying to irritate me to death? Since Tyler's van didn't do the job?"

A quick flash of anger pulsed through me. Could she honestly believe that?
It was irrational for me to be so affronted-she didn't know of the transformation that had happened in
the night. But I was angry all the same.

"Bella, you are utterly absurd," I snapped.

Her face flushed, and she turned her back on me. She began to walk away.

Remorse. I had no right to my anger.

"Wait," I pleaded.

She did not stop, so I followed after her.

"I'm sorry, that was rude. I'm not saying it isn't true" -it was absurd to imagine that I wanted her harmed
in any way- "but it was rude to say it, anyway."

"Why won't you leave me alone?"

Believe me, I wanted to say. I've tried. Oh, and also, I'm wretchedly in love with you. Keep it light.

"I wanted to ask you something, but you sidetracked me." A course of action had just occurred to me,
and I laughed.

"Do you have a multiple personality disorder?" she asked.

It must seem that way. My mood was erratic, so many new emotions coursing through me. "You're
doing it again," I pointed out.

She sighed. "Fine then. What do you want to ask?"

"I was wondering if, a week from Saturday..." I watched the shock cross her face, and choked back
another laugh. "You know, the day of the spring dance-"

She cut me off, finally returning her eyes to mine. "Are you trying to be funny?"

Yes. "Will you let me finish?"

She waited in silence, her teeth pressing into her soft lower lip. That sight distracted me for a second.
Strange, unfamiliar reactions stirred deep in my forgotten human core. I tried to shake them off so I

could play my role.

"I heard you say that you were going to Seattle that day, and I was wondering if you wanted a ride?" I
offered. I'd realized that, better than just questioning her about her plans, I might share them.
She stared at me blankly. "What?"

"Do you want a ride to Seattle?" Alone in a car with her-my throat burned at the thought. I took a deep
breath. Get used to it.

"With who?" she asked, her eyes wide and bewildered again.

"Myself, obviously," I said slowly.

"Why?"

Was it really such as shock that I would want her company? She must have applied the worst possible
meaning to my past behavior.

"Well," I said as casually as possible, "I was planning to go to Seattle in the next few weeks, and, to be
honest, I'm not sure if your truck can make it." It seemed safer to tease her than to allow myself to be
serious.

"My truck works just fine, thank you very much for your concern," she said in the same surprised voice.

She started walking again. I kept pace with her.

She hadn't really said no, so I pressed that advantage.

Would she say no? What would I do if she did?

"But can your truck make it there on one tank of gas?"

"I don't see how that is any of your business," she grumbled.

That still wasn't a no. And her heart was beating faster again, her breath coming more quickly.

"The wasting of finite resources is everyone's business."

"Honestly, Edward, I can't keep up with you. I thought you didn't want to be my friend."

A thrill shot through me when she spoke my name.

How to keep it light and yet be honest at the same time? Well, it was more important to be honest.

Especially on this point.

"I said it would be better if we weren't friends, not that I didn't want to be."

"Oh, thanks, now that's all cleared up," she said sarcastically.

She paused, under the edge of the cafeteria's roof, and met my gaze again. Her heartbeats stuttered.

Was she afraid?

I chose my words carefully. No, I could not leave her, but maybe she would be smart enough to leave
me, before it was too late.

"It would be more... prudent for you not to be my friend." Staring into the melted chocolate depths of
her eyes, I lost my hold on light. "But I'm tired of trying to stay away from you, Bella." The words burned
with much too much fervor.

Her breathing stopped and, in the second it took for it to restart, that worried me. How much had I
scared her? Well, I would find out.

"Will you go to Seattle with me?" I demanded, point blank.

She nodded, her heart drumming loudly.

Yes. She'd said yes to me.

And then my conscious smote me. What would this cost her?

"You really should stay away from me," I warned her. Did she hear me? Would she escape the future I
was threatening her with? Couldn't I do anything to save her from me?

Keep it light, I shouted at myself. "I'll see you in class."

I had to concentrate to stop myself from running as I fled.

Continue Reading Twilight - Midnight Sun:
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Twilight - Midnight Sun

I leaned back against the soft snow bank, letting the dry powder reshape itself around my weight. Myskin had cooled to match the air around me, and the tiny pieces of ice felt like velvet under my skin. Keep Reading...»

High school. Purgatory no longer, it was now purely hell. Torment and fire...yes, I had both.I was doing everything correctly now. Every "i" dotted, every "t" crossed. No one could complain that Iwas shirking my responsibilities.Keep Reading...»

Twilight - Breaking Dawn

“Jeez, Paul, don’t you freaking have a home of your own?” Paul, lounging across my whole couch, watching some stupid baseball game on my crappy TV, just grinned at me and then—real slow—he lifted one Dorito from the bag in his lap and wedged Keep Reading...»

I felt like—like I don’t know what. Like this wasn’t real. Like I was in some Goth version of a bad sitcom. Instead of being the A/V dweeb about to ask the head cheerleader to the prom, I was the finished-second-place werewolf about to ask the vampire’s wife Keep Reading...»

I was right on the edge of sleep. The sun had risen behind the clouds an hour ago—the forest was gray now instead of black. Seth’d curled up and passed out around one, and I’d woken him at dawn to trade off. Even after running all night, I was having a hard time Keep Reading...»

Carlisle and Rosalie were off in a flash, darting upstairs. I could hear them debating whether they should warm it up for her. Ugh. I wondered what all house-of-horrors stuff they kept around here. Fridge full of blood, check. What else? Torture chamber? Coffin room? Keep Reading...»

Hey Jake, thought you said you wanted me at dusk. How come you didn’t have Leah wake me up before she crashed? ’Cause I didn’t need you. I’m still good. He was already picking up the north half of the circle. Anything? Nope. Nothing but nothing. Keep Reading...»

“No. No way!” I shook my head fiercely and then shot a glance at the smug smile on my seventeen-year-old husband’s face. “No, this doesn’t count. I stopped aging three days ago. I am eighteen forever.” “Whatever,” Alice said, dismissing my protest Keep Reading...»

There was so much to think about. How was I going to find time alone to hunt down J. Jenks, and why did Alice want me to know about him? If Alice’s clue had nothing to do with Renesmee, what could I do to save my daughter? How were Edward and I going to explain things Keep Reading...»

I leaned back against the soft snow bank, letting the dry powder reshape itself around my weight. My
skin had cooled to match the air around me, and the tiny pieces of ice felt like velvet under my skin. Keep Reading...»

High school. Purgatory no longer, it was now purely hell. Torment and fire...yes, I had both.

I was doing everything correctly now. Every "i" dotted, every "t" crossed. No one could complain that I
was shirking my responsibilities.Keep Reading...»