Twilight - Midnight Sun - Chapter 15 Back and Forth

Billy Black’s thoughts were insulting at the very least. I was seething as much as I was speeding towards
my house. He was positive that I was a danger to Bella.Hah! A danger to Bella, not at that moment. At
that moment I was a danger to him. Had Bella not been there I would have reversed back into his car… I
remembered the look on Billy’s face. And something told me that if Billy had been the one in the drivers
seat instead of his son, he would have done the same thing to the back of my Volvo.

I slackly parked the car in my front lawn and in the same breath almost ripped myself out through the
door. This was fast becoming routine but I had never left in such a hurry. Usually I waited until Bella was
asleep. So my sudden rush had left Emmett wide eyed as I disappeared into the forest so fast that I
didn‘t even catch his thoughts. I’d have to explain to later, I was sure of that.

I reached the house in record time finding a place in the shadows near the side. I would be able to hear

clearly enough from here.

And I could. I heard Charlie and Billy talking about some fishing trip. But Billy’s thoughts were not
entirely focused. He was still thinking of Bella beside me, in my car, but the image was wrong. In his
mind I looked dangerous. Like a predator. A killer. I almost growled. But I tightened my fists and
clenched my jaw shut. He was right after all. Of course he was.
Focusing again on Charlie’s thoughts, trying to see if there was any concern in his mind about my family.

About me. About Bella and me. About us…

There was no us. I sighed quietly. Bella and I were two very separate entities. Contrary not
complimentary. I thought grimly

Well Charlie seemed fixed on the game now as Bella came through to the room with that boy, Jacob

Black. Immediately his mind hit me like a bulldozer. Every one of his erratic thoughts were a crazy
spinning frenzy on how to keep Bella’s attention. He was looking at her almost inappropriately. I had to
fight every single fibre inside me to not rip the front door open… and his deluded head off. But Bella’s
vague unfocused answers to him made me calmer, made it easier to control the urges to annihilate the
irritating boy.

I stood statuesque for the remainder of the game until finally Billy and Jacob were heading towards the
door. Sliding quickly into the shadows out of sight, I listened.

“You take care, Bella’’ Billy said. His thoughts were more of a severe warning than his spoken words.

Letting my head drop and closing my eyes I waited for them to leave.

As the car drove away and Charlie closed the front door, locking it, I kept very still. I wanted nothing
more than to continue my nightly pattern and climb into Bella‘s room when her lights went out. But right
now I wasn’t sure if that was a good idea. After this evening, after seeing myself as the monster through
the eyes of someone else… it made me fear. Fear not for myself but for her. Only for her. Always for her.

I don’t know how long I stood there thinking about right and wrong once again but as I refocused my
eyes, ready to run home, I was greeted with the realisation that I was standing in Bella’s room. I shook
my head and gave up. Again.

The morning was the same as the last. I ran to my house, changed and then drove back to Bella’s. But
before I could slip through her fingers again, Alice had reminded me that I was to leave school early with
her today. Hunting trip. I couldn’t help but smile with gratitude at my little sister.

Charlie had just left and I parked in his spot. This time I turned off my engine and rolled down the
windows. I was smiling instantly as Bella climbed in beside me, her scent filling the car again.
“How did you sleep?” I asked, slightly confused by the tiny skip in her heartbeat.

I couldn’t help but be a little smug because I knew the answer already.

“Fine how was your night?” she asked

“Pleasant” I replied

“Can I ask what you did?” She continued

“No today is still mine” I smiled fully now.

Again this day was the same as the previous. But my questions differed. I wanted to know more about
the people in her life. And more about her relationships with them. I was however startled at her lack of
romantic history but also comforted at the same time. In the cafeteria now, I wanted to know why that
was the case. For I could not fathom any reason for a girl like Bella to have lack of suitors “So you never
met anyone you wanted?” I tried not to sound pathetically hopeful.

She seemed anxious as she answered “Not in Phoenix”

Argh this isn’t good I thought but contrarily I felt pleased.

She bit into her bagel when this reminded me of my own appetite and my errand for this afternoon. “I

should have let you drive yourself today”

“Why” she almost looked angry.

“I’m leaving with Alice after lunch” I answered her quietly and watched her face drain of anger only to be
replaced by what looked like disappointment. She was going to miss me? My dead heart almost started
thumping right then but her answer broke my jovial moment

“Oh, that’s okay, it’s not that far of a walk”

“I’m not going to make you walk home. We’ll go get your truck and leave it here for you” I snapped
irritated by the thought.

He face became confusingly poignant “I don’t have my key with me, I really don’t mind walking”

I was shaking my head before she even finished. How asinine of her to think I was just going to leave her
to walk home. “Your truck will be here, and the key will be in the ignition - unless you’re afraid someone
might steal it” I laughed and she finally agreed

“All right” she said in an almost challenging tone. I felt a little conceited. It’s always helpful to have a
little sister with an uncanny ability to find things.

“So where are you going?” Bella’s voice was slightly hesitant

“Hunting” I never even thought about what I was saying. The truth just came out automatically with

Bella. “If I’m going to be alone with you tomorrow, I’m going to take whatever precautions I can.”

Otherwise I’ll end up killing you, of course. Just so you know, no big deal. I left the last part out but I
knew that this was going to be dangerous. “You can always cancel, you know” Please cancel. Do it. Tell
me you don’t want to be alone with me. Tell me you are scared of the monster inside me. Let your
human senses lead you away from me, Bella. Do the right thing. Because I just can’t I thought almost
painfully

“No, I can’t” Bella echoed my thoughts.
Surrendering I murmured “Perhaps you’re right”

“What time will I see you tomorrow?” Bella asked casually

“That depends… it‘s Saturday, don‘t you want to sleep in?”

“No” she answered almost overlapped my question

I muffled a smile unsuccessfully at her eagerness.

“The same time as usual, then,” I asked “Will Charlie be there?” Maybe her father being at home was
going to help me anchor my need.

Her answer seemed triumphant “No, he’s fishing tomorrow”

The monster inside me peeked out “And if you don’t come home, what will he think?” Oh yes, now you
really do sound like a creep. Might as well tell her that you sneak in through her window when she’s
sleeping. Hopefully this was warning enough for her to finally back away. But her face was unchanged as
if she had no idea of my insinuation. She answered steady and casual “I have no idea, he knows I have
been meaning to do the laundry. Maybe he‘ll think I fell in the washer”

Impossible. She was just impossible. She grimaced at me as if asking me to challenge her some more.

But I remained silent, just glaring back.

“Where are you hunting tonight” Bella asked, startling me with her casual tone at such non-standard
subject.

“Whatever we find I the park. We aren’t going far” I managed to say

“Why are you going with Alice?”

Because Alice loves you like I do. I frowned and opted for a less open response “Alice is the most…
supportive” That worked.

She seemed nervous when she continued “And the others? What are they?”

They’d rather I killed you and got this over with. Another answer I would have to modify “Incredulous, for
the most part”

She looked behind at the table where my siblings sat.

Idiot. Rosalie thought and I focused on blocking her out

Emmett was laughing as he tried not to look over I never knew watching you fumble over a girl would be
so much fun!

“They don’t like me” Bella interrupted my scowling at Emmett.
She seemed hurt by this thought. I tried my best to comfort her insecurities, however rightly placed they
might be “That’s not it. They don’t understand why I can’t leave you alone”

Frowning now she turned back to face me and replied “Neither do I, for that matter.”


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“I told you - you don’t see yourself clearly at all. You’re not like anyone I’ve ever known. You fascinate
me.” And there, again, was that wretched truth that keeps slipping from me.


Reading Bella’s face was becoming a little easier. This made me smile and I watched as her expression
change. She thought I was being false.

“Having the advantages I do” I tapped my forehead quickly to remind her “I have a better than average
grasp at human nature. People are predictable. But you… you never do what I expect. You always take
me my surprise.”

Now I was confused by her look of resentment and embarrassment. But she turned her head back to my
family.

I decided to keep going to help her understand more “That part is easy to explain. But there’s more… and
it’s not so easy to put into words - “

Oh, that’s right tell her everything, Edward. Do you have any idea how dangerous all this is? Rosalie’s
thoughts came at me loud and fast. She turned to glower at Bella now And you’re risking it for this
insignificant human girl. Maybe you just need a little push or maybe I can… - I growled under my breath
silencing her thoughts abruptly.

Bella turned back to me as confusion and fear washed over her face.

Now I had to explain Rose’s behaviour too. “I’m sorry about that. She’s just worried. You see… it’s
dangerous for more than just me if, after spending so much time with you so publicly…” I couldn’t look at
her anymore. Staring down at the table I wasn’t sure if I could finish that sentence

“If?” Bella persisted. Of course I couldn‘t refuse her. And she had a right to know what her fate might be.

“If this ends… badly” I let my head drop into my hands. I didn’t move. I thought that this would be it.

These words would be all she needed to start grasping the danger she was in. Slightly stunned I felt her
hand come towards me but she let it drop on the table. Bella wanted to… console me?

“And you have to leave now?” She asked in a nonchalant tone

“Yes” I replied and as I raised my face, her big brown eyes looked disheartened at the thought of my
departure. Making my mood perk up.

“It’s probably for the best.“ I started, remembering what class we had next “We still have fifteen minutes
of that wretched movie left to endure in Biology - I don’t think I could take anymore”

Alice crept behind me silently “Alice” I said without looking away from Bella’s face.

“Edward” Alice replied and then silently added Quit being so dramatic

I decided to introduce them “Alice, Bella - Bella, Alice”

“Hello, Bella” Alice trilled and smiled widely at her “It’s nice to finally meet you” I gave Alice a warning
look. She was overstepping the mark

“Hi, Alice” Bella said timidly.

“Are you ready” Alice directed her question to me

Still irate at her I answered curtly “Nearly. I’ll meet you at the car”
Without response, Alice walked out of the cafeteria.

“Should I say ‘have fun’ or is that the wrong sentiment?” Bella asked turning back to look at me.

“No ’have fun’ works as well as anything” I said grinning at her candidness

“Have fun then”

“I’ll try. And you try to be safe” I cautioned

“Safe in Forks - what a challenge” She said sarcastically

“For you it is a challenge.” How little she knew herself “Promise.” I urged

“I promise to try to be safe. I‘ll do the laundry tonight - that ought to be fraught with peril”

“Don’t fall in” I said keeping with her mocking tone

“I’ll do my best”

I stood up. Bella followed suit and sighed “I’ll see you tomorrow”

She looked unhappy and I knew why. Because I felt it too (though I knew I would see her before she saw
me).

“It seems like a long time to you, doesn’t it?”

And she nodded confirming what I thought.

“I’ll be there in the morning” I said and reached over to touch her face, brushing across her cheekbone.

When I realised what I was doing I turned and walked away without another word.

Alice was at the car, grinning, as I approached. She was ecstatic to have made contact with Bella today.

As if that was a green light for her. She didn’t have free reign yet. I grimaced at her thoughts

I drove home in silence… on my part anyway, I couldn’t control Alice’s thoughts. But I knew if I said
anything it would just worsen the images in her head. I parked the car in the garage and made my way
into the house with Alice just a step behind. Esme was in the dining room and Alice skipped around me to
kiss her on the cheek. And then they both turned to look at me. I shifted on the spot and put my hands
in my pockets, not able to meet their gaze I stared at the tips of my shoes. They didn’t speak but their
thoughts were almost identical. Neither of them saw me making a mistake. They didn’t think of it that
way. They were sure I wouldn’t undo Carlisle’s teachings. My fingertips found the bottle cap in my right
pocket as I looked up at Esme. Through her mind I saw my face. It looked agonised, pleading almost.

She was by my side in an instant, her hand on my face

“You won’t fail, Edward.” she tried to reassure me “You are stronger than you think, son”

“She’s right Edward,“ Alice chimed in “Do you really think I would let you be alone with Bella if I saw you
hurting her? I wouldn‘t be able to bear it almost as much as you”

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“I guess you’re right Alice but…” I couldn’t bring myself to say my uncertainties out loud. Looking at
Esme’s clear, determined face and then at Alice’s, how could I tell them when they had such faith in me?

I couldn’t break that. No I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. I shouldn‘t…

“We’ve got to go Edward, Bella will have finished class soon” Alice cut through my thoughts

“Yes of course “ I said too formally. And hurried out the door giving Esme a half smile. She beamed back
openly.

Alice and I reached Bella’s house and she gave me a wink and she flew to get the key from under the
eave and let herself in. I trailed right on her heel but once inside I didn’t follow her upstairs to Bella’s
room. I lingered in the hallway waiting for Alice to find the key. She was back in an instant “Ready?” She
asked in her high voice.

I looked at the inside of the house one more time, I’d only seen it in the dark before. I sighed and
headed out the door “Don’t forget to put the key back under the eave, Alice” I called behind me but her
answer came from near Bella’s truck “All done” she smirked at me.

I got into the drivers seat and Alice handed me the key as she slid in beside me. We were halfway to the
school when Alice spoke “Edward, I love Bella too, you know. And I couldn’t possibly let anything happen
to her”

I didn’t speak

“And you know how Jazz feels now. He doesn’t understand but he won’t step out of line.“

“Yes, Alice but maybe Emmett and Rose…”

She cut me off “Oh Emmett thinks you’re crazy, sure, but he means no harm.” She was silent for a
moment as she thought about Rosalie

“Rose’s hostility towards me doesn’t bother me as much as her thoughts towards Bella” I retorted back at
her thoughts

“Hmmmm yes Rose. She just needs… time. That’s all. She’ll come around soon. She just doesn’t see it
yet but obviously I do” She didn’t sound convincing and her thoughts betrayed her. Rosalie was going to
be a problem. That much was certain.

We reached the school and I parked the truck easily.

Alice jumped out and waited for me. I turned the engine off and left the key in. Then I pulled out my pen
from my inside jacket pocket and looked for paper in the glove compartment

“On the floor behind your seat“” Alice helped. I looked at her half scowling but she just smiled back
innocently. I found the note pad, tore a piece off and threw it back behind me. I thought about what to
write but decided that there was only one thing I needed Bella to do for me before I was able to see her
again.

Be safe

I folded the note, got out of the truck and placed it on the seat.

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Continue Reading Twilight - Midnight Sun:
Chapters 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |

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